Bluesman1952

Hello all - back here again after a long time. I am still drinking and have added issues now. I did cut back a lot but I know that isn't the answer. Even 2 beers and I get severe panic and anxiety attacks. My doctor did something I was against but I went along with him. He prescribed me 1 mg of a benzo twice a day to get off alcohol, but after about a month clean, I went back to beer, and now when I wake up at night with panic, I reach for just a 1/2 mg of the benzo to help me back to sleep - So, that's where I am now and confused as to what to do?

sleepie

Hi Bluesman.
Mixing benzos and drinking is a bad idea as your bran chemistry adjusts and accepts it as the norm. Basically you end up being more fiercely physically dependent on both alcohol and benzos. The key is to quit drinking, and take the benzo as prescribed. I am currently trying to get myself out of the same mess. I have quit drinking but the benzo taper is very difficult for me.
It is crucial that you stop drinking. What I did was find a Dr who could accept all my honesty about alcoholism and continued use of benzos and alcohol together. I am now on a medically supervised taper from valium. With the help of a psychiatrist. Find someone you can tell and explain your goal is to quit the drinking and the benzos.
It is difficult , but I hope you can be honest with your doctor and find a way to quit drinking and stick to a taper schedule with the benzo.
Best of luck, stay strong.

ScottFromWI

Did you use any sobriety plan or method along with the benzo's or just substitute the benzos for the alcohol?

To be frank I'd seriously consider supervised detox and or inpatient/outpatient rehab. It sounds a lot like you are at the point where you are experiencing widthrdrawals daily, and mixing benzos withi alcohol is a very dangerous mix. It would be best to see a doctor or a drug alcohol counselor that understands addiction to get a safe detox started, and then get you started on a plan to maintain your sobriety.

Bluesman1952

I was seeing my doctor weekly and was doing well with just that small amount of Xanax, That's what they game me...Unfortunately, my wife and I witnessed a suicide by gunshot, and we were only several feet away. She is in therapy, and me? I picked up beer again. The quickest "I don't care" medicine in the world. I stopped the Xanax because I wasn't even taking the prescribed dose. I was taking only 1/2 mg as needed instead of 1 mg 2X daily. I am afraid of benzos...Wish I was afraid of beer! I need someone just to talk to. I have stopped drinking before for a year at a time, but when things get tough, O go back. I don't drink a lot, but at my age it is really hurting me. I can't sleep, and if I do, I get up in panic, no hangover, so I reach for the 1/2 mg Xanax....Never had luck with AA....So, no real sobriety plan except I am sick and tired of being sick and tired...Quote from Ringo Starr :-)

Bluesman1952

Thanks for the reply - I know it is bad even though I am not doing either beer or Xanax in excess, but I feel the need for both....I do see a psychiatrist....I am trying but after a tragic incident I witnessed...well...this is tough! I'll beat it...just looking for support :-)

sleepie

That's a really dramatic thing to witness.
Have you considered talking to your psychiatrist about it?

Bluesman1952

I have, but there isn't much to be done - This took place IN my home. I considered selling, but it is a small town and everybody knows about it and it isn't easy to sell. I personally wasn't terribly affected by what I saw, but I guess I started with the beer again because my wife was traumatized and beer helped me cope with her to try and help her. It wasn't a family member, this was just a sick person wanting to find peace, I guess? I mean, it wasn't a pretty sight, but I am over it...

sleepie

I am so sorry you witnessed that.

Bluesman1952

I feel more for my wife, really, but this whole mess has brought back the drinking and I hate it...
I currently baby-sit the child who's Dad committed suicide. That's hard! He looks like his dad and that makes me feel weird, but I will raise him. He has nobody else...

ScottFromWI

Very sorry to hear that Bluesman. Unfortunately booze and benzo's are not going to make anything better though, you are going to need to quit both before any kind of healing can take place. Therapy can certainly help, but not while you are still drinking.

Bluesman1952

I know Scott - That's why I am here...This is a tough one...I'll be keeping in touch with everybody - Today I have not had a drink - I do not intend to, but unsure if I should take a pill at bedtime - I really want to be off both!

ScottFromWI

Have you talked to the doctor that prescribed the benzos to see what they recommend? We can't give you advice on that here as it would be considered medical advice. I can tell you that quitting both alcohol and benzos cold turkey can be potentially very dangerous. Please seek local help should there be signs of trouble, and let someone close to you know what is going on so they can call for help if you cannot.

Bluesman1952

I know you can't give medical advice here...and that is OK - I am not seeking that here - My doc thinks it is such an easy task to just take the benzo's as prescribed and go on with life...Well, maybe I don't want either in my body, booze or benzo's....I know how to do this, I guess I am just reaching out..It is good I got all these responses because it makes me feel like I am not alone in this...I will talk again with the doc.
Thanks to all for being here.

zjw

For what it's worth sleepie is going through a lot of struggles with a benzo taper and quitting alcohol reading her threads could be helpful lots of good stuff in them

Bluesman1952

Thanks zjw - I will look at those posts - Heading off to bed now SOBER, and hope to make it through the night the same way....

Sudz No More

Hope things went well today Bluesman. Just remember, getting used to those Benzos is going to end up being just another substance to get off of. The sooner you push through without them the better off you will be.

Bluesman1952

Last night I went to bed sober and didn't reach for a pill - This morning, after not such a good nights sleep, I have light palpitations. I am going to see the doc today to get into a scheduled routine to get off these pills. I had no booze cravings, but I can't deal with benzo withdrawal. The little that I do take still bothers me.