Moving out - scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
Moving out - scared
Hi, it has been a long time since I posted but I have been doing well in regards to sobriety. *Almost 14 months. 
I am about to get my own apartment with my daughter; which means moving away from the guy who has more or less saved my life. I honestly don't know that I could have gotten sober without him. He quite right insisted on it and/or we were going to break up and I was going to be out of his house. *This was June, 2014. Needless to say, I quit drinking and things have gotten better in some ways, worse in others over time.
The main reason for moving is that my daughter is absolutely miserable living here and has all but refused to come home for the past couple of months. *She has been staying at my sisters house because she says that he and I argue too much and she gets bored.
I am just absolutely scared out of my mind about moving and getting my own place. It is mind boggling how scared I am to start drinking again. It is an almost crippling fear of becoming the person that I never wanted to be all over again.
He never really drank so it was always really difficult for him to understand what/why I was going through any issues with alcohol to begin with... let alone struggling to quit. But, I still feel that if he hadn't threatened to kick me out, I might not have ever quit and who knows where I would be now?!
Can I continue to do this alone?
I am about to get my own apartment with my daughter; which means moving away from the guy who has more or less saved my life. I honestly don't know that I could have gotten sober without him. He quite right insisted on it and/or we were going to break up and I was going to be out of his house. *This was June, 2014. Needless to say, I quit drinking and things have gotten better in some ways, worse in others over time.
The main reason for moving is that my daughter is absolutely miserable living here and has all but refused to come home for the past couple of months. *She has been staying at my sisters house because she says that he and I argue too much and she gets bored.
I am just absolutely scared out of my mind about moving and getting my own place. It is mind boggling how scared I am to start drinking again. It is an almost crippling fear of becoming the person that I never wanted to be all over again.
He never really drank so it was always really difficult for him to understand what/why I was going through any issues with alcohol to begin with... let alone struggling to quit. But, I still feel that if he hadn't threatened to kick me out, I might not have ever quit and who knows where I would be now?!
Can I continue to do this alone?
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
I don't even know you except for your post, but I'm confident that you have the strength to do this.
Don't fall prey to your AV and let it sway you to drink...YOU are in control, not your AV.
Keep us posted on your continued success!
Don't fall prey to your AV and let it sway you to drink...YOU are in control, not your AV.
Keep us posted on your continued success!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 132
He may be the reason for day one of sobriety but that doesn't mean they all hinge on him. You now have 14 months of experience to draw on...it doesn't belong to him.
It belongs to you. :-)
It is yours to nurture and keep as you raise your daughter and actually LIVE a full and sober life. Make a list of all the reasons to be sober, all the wonders you have discovered, all the joy...write them down and refer to them. Keep working your program. You can do this alone, absolutely!
It belongs to you. :-)
It is yours to nurture and keep as you raise your daughter and actually LIVE a full and sober life. Make a list of all the reasons to be sober, all the wonders you have discovered, all the joy...write them down and refer to them. Keep working your program. You can do this alone, absolutely!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Originally Posted by JensDestiny 
Thank you for your replies. I am crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
i hoped for the best many times.
truth is, hope didn't get me here.
actions did. and help.
what can you add to your hope to make it come true?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
Good luck to you! I may be having to do the same in a couple of months' time, and it terrifies me. But also exciting
I won't drink when it happens, because I quit for me, not her, and I like being sober much more.
14 months is huge, you're an inspiration to me
I won't drink when it happens, because I quit for me, not her, and I like being sober much more.
14 months is huge, you're an inspiration to me
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
He's a human being, not a lucky rabbit's foot. Your sobriety doesn't depend on him. He may have given you the push that you needed at the right time, but ultimately we have to stay sober for ourselves, whether we are in a relationship or not.
I actually found it much easier to quit drinking and stay sober without someone else around.
I think you will be just fine.
I actually found it much easier to quit drinking and stay sober without someone else around.
I think you will be just fine.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Thoughts are with you friend. Keep the faith - you've stacked some sobriety - if this is best for all embrace it.
You have the tools to stay sober. While a push might have got you started no one but you can do the work that leads daily to sobriety.
You can rock this Jen!!!
You have the tools to stay sober. While a push might have got you started no one but you can do the work that leads daily to sobriety.
You can rock this Jen!!!
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