Need to post this before I workout
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I struggled a bit when I first came on the forum. In fact, I threatened to quit after my first posting. It takes a bit to get your feet here and know how to "read" postings. I think I started in Sept of last year...stumbled thru Xmas and took January off the forum to just read and and absorb. The mods would tell me that if I didn't like what someone said to use the Ignore feature. But I eventually learned to ignore some people on here without activating that feature.
A lot of folks here are trying to find their way as well and your struggles may serve to trigger their own issues. My advice is to not try to defend yourself. Take what you want and leave the rest. If you try to explain and defend, you will get very tired and not much positive feedback.
A lot of folks here are trying to find their way as well and your struggles may serve to trigger their own issues. My advice is to not try to defend yourself. Take what you want and leave the rest. If you try to explain and defend, you will get very tired and not much positive feedback.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
SIT, wherever you're at today, you're still deflecting. As long as you keep that up, you'll drink. Sorry, that's my experience. Ya know, so many here are trying their best to help, myself included. I left you a post on another thread. You can view these fellow alcoholics with gratitude or get defensive about what they say and spin their motives into something they're not... as I see them of course... its your choice but any way ya cut it, ascribing and twisting their motives into something negative or, at the very least, not following their programs due to personal issues.... deflectors do that. When you point a finger, you've got three pointing back at you... look at them. You can believe it or not as you choose but I DO have compassion for you... been there, done that.... and I see that you are still suffering. People are trying to help... grab what they offer with both hands.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Thank you turtle, and I do remember your post from last night offering me a suggestion to get through my discomfort, so thank you for that. In all honesty, I don't know if I am going to make it. I think there is a 25 percent chance of me staying sober, if that. But I am just trying to enjoy each day that I still have with my family because we don't know how long it will last.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
One of my mentors told me he discovered the greatest distance between two places was the distance between the head and heart. You can know everything in the world in your head but in order to get sober you have to know it in your heart too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by Soberintexas007 
Members in the past few days of my sobriety have been doing a lot for me besides just praying. Dee suggested sitting with the discomfort before picking up and Scott reminded me yesterday of my choice to drink the diet coke and to get a sponsor and the 90/90. Writing from life also gave me some hope and optimism about my future career, and Chrissy and sleepie told me to keep coming back (sorry if I am forgetting anyone).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Originally Posted by Soberintexas007
The gist of what I was trying to say in all of those posts is that I think it is important to try and find compassion for the alcoholic who still suffers. At the end of a lot of AA meetings, we often pray for the alcoholic who still suffers. When I slip, it is not because I am immature, a drama queen, or taking my sobriety lightly like many have suggested; on the contrary, it is because I am still suffering.
I think you might be confusing compassion for enabling tho.
If I want to help you and I want you to get well, you'll never hear me tell you it's ok that you drank.
You'll never hear me say that alcohol is a good remedy for suffering.
You'll never hear me agree that it's your husband, your parents, or peoples lack of compassion here that made you drink.
I think as long as you continue to put the power and responsibility for your alcoholism onto other people or other things, nothing much is likely to change.
Like someone else said, you need to own this.
This is not 'beating you up' btw - it's me sharing a Golden Truth of Recovery with you....
until I assumed responsibility for my alcoholism and drug addiction I was lost.
D
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