Newatthis34

I feel the same Sleepie, sometimes it's so hard to come and post. I've just made myself do it too (similar story as yours) as I realised the only thing worse than posting was not posting. It can only help right?

boris

I know you hate yourself at the moment. This is just a blip. You can do it.

Soberintexas007

How are you doing today sleepie? I am trying to get the energy to go do my workout but am SO tired....UGH!

sleepie

So so , thanks for asking. I am at work.

Sudz No More

It's that trigger in our heads that keeps getting you, like a fire just blown out that still smolders it only takes a good deep breath to reignite it. The only thing that will ever get you where you want to go is enough time between the fire and the ash to make sure it never lights again. I relit the fire many many times but I just got tired of repeating the same misery. I just got fed up with the lousy feeling and finally pushed through long enough to keep the fire out. Just remind yourself each and every day that you will never get where you want to go if you keep giving in. It really does get better if you put in the time necessary to get there. I'm still pulling for you Sleepie, whatever it takes just keep trying.

Hevyn

Thinking of you Sleepie.

Soberintexas007

Is today your new Day 1?

Pipping

Hang in there sleepie, the first few days after a binge are pretty ordinary.
You are not disgusting, far from it. Sending virtual hugs your way (( hugs))

Hawkeye13

Hope your day went well and thinking of you sleepie

fini

I deserve whatever is dished out.
I have been here for a long time. I know people are disgusted with my repeated relapses.
My apologies to those who reached out repeatedly through the times I asked for help but those sober days and weeks, are due to you all and thank you so much for that.

sleepie,
just to say that any day sober is due to you staying sober. it's great if you find that being here with the rest of us helps you do that, but the fact is it's YOU who did it.

and no, you don't know if anyone's disgusted. i'm not.

i was plenty disgusted with myself over and over when i kept slipping and sliding for years and years.
and though i've often heard to not dwell on it, in fact self-disgust often motivated me to try again and again.

don't give up.

least

Thinking of you.

sleepie

Thanks guys.
No I am not on day one.
But not on beer ten. or even 5.

Soberintexas007

How do you feel about not being on Day 1 but drinking a lot less?

sleepie

Pretty bad. It knocked, I opened the door. It's been over a week now.
I have tomorrow off and a coupe days after. Money is going to be tight but I lined a couple things up to get me out of this ten hour day, no breaks, lower than minimum wage job.

Soberintexas007

Glad to hear you get the time off!

Venecia

Hi, Sleepie.

There's been some wise counsel here and I cannot really think of anything I can add to it. But I did want you to know I'm sorry that you have been hurting (and drinking) and I hope tomorrow brings you renewal. And hope things go well on the job front, too. Take care.