Finding courage...
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 124
Finding courage...
Hi all...
I'm on day six. Not much, but it's my first real attempt at sobriety in ages.
It has lately occurred to me that I need to embrace recovery- in order to get my act together and muster the courage to leave my marriage. My wife has many good points...but she is lacking in empathy and can be downright cruel. I've been unhappy for ages.
Anybody else here getting sober to "get out?"
This is a same sex situation. No kids or dependents involved. thankfully,
Thanks for listening...
I'm on day six. Not much, but it's my first real attempt at sobriety in ages.
It has lately occurred to me that I need to embrace recovery- in order to get my act together and muster the courage to leave my marriage. My wife has many good points...but she is lacking in empathy and can be downright cruel. I've been unhappy for ages.
Anybody else here getting sober to "get out?"
This is a same sex situation. No kids or dependents involved. thankfully,
Thanks for listening...
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
early recovery is a time of emotional upheaval elsker.
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Congratulations on your sober time.
In AA it’s strongly suggested, because of millions of sober examples to draw from, big changes like new relationships, breaking old ones, new jobs and other high emotion changes wait for a year of sobriety to be attained. This is a very emotional period and caution is strongly advised.
BE WELL
Congratulations on your sober time.
In AA it’s strongly suggested, because of millions of sober examples to draw from, big changes like new relationships, breaking old ones, new jobs and other high emotion changes wait for a year of sobriety to be attained. This is a very emotional period and caution is strongly advised.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by Dee74 
early recovery is a time of emotional upheaval elsker.
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by Dee74
early recovery is a time of emotional upheaval elsker.
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
I always say unless you fear for your safety or something, I'd urge caution on making any momentous life changing decisions right now. 6 days is awesome, but you'll probably go through a myriad of changes and moods before things settle down - but they will - then you'll be well placed to decide what you want and how to get it
D
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Hi.
Congratulations on your sober time.
In AA it’s strongly suggested, because of millions of sober examples to draw from, big changes like new relationships, breaking old ones, new jobs and other high emotion changes wait for a year of sobriety to be attained. This is a very emotional period and caution is strongly advised.
BE WELL
Congratulations on your sober time.
In AA it’s strongly suggested, because of millions of sober examples to draw from, big changes like new relationships, breaking old ones, new jobs and other high emotion changes wait for a year of sobriety to be attained. This is a very emotional period and caution is strongly advised.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i always thought i'd quit to get out of debt. But i never could the debts just got worse and I'd always find money for booze somehow.
it would make sense to get out or to solve some major battles in life. But for me I quit because of panic attacks they drove me to quiting as i marched down the sober path i realized i was quiting for a whole host of reasons all of which added up to a much better life and I do not wish to go back to those days.
Good job on the 6 days!
it would make sense to get out or to solve some major battles in life. But for me I quit because of panic attacks they drove me to quiting as i marched down the sober path i realized i was quiting for a whole host of reasons all of which added up to a much better life and I do not wish to go back to those days.
Good job on the 6 days!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
elsker,
ultimately, i had to embrace recovery and sobriety for themselves.
for a life better lived, period.
not for a specific goal.
stick with it; decisions can mature over time. new sobriety...i was very reactionary. for quite a while.
ultimately, i had to embrace recovery and sobriety for themselves.
for a life better lived, period.
not for a specific goal.
stick with it; decisions can mature over time. new sobriety...i was very reactionary. for quite a while.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by fini
elsker,
ultimately, i had to embrace recovery and sobriety for themselves.
for a life better lived, period.
not for a specific goal.
stick with it; decisions can mature over time. new sobriety...i was very reactionary. for quite a while.
ultimately, i had to embrace recovery and sobriety for themselves.
for a life better lived, period.
not for a specific goal.
stick with it; decisions can mature over time. new sobriety...i was very reactionary. for quite a while.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by least
Yes, I'd have to agree. Get sober for yourself, first and foremost.
As you get more sober time your head will be clearer and you can make smart sensible decisions.
As you get more sober time your head will be clearer and you can make smart sensible decisions.
Day nine.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Originally Posted by elsker
You are not the first to say this to me. So, rather than choosing sobriety to get away from somebody, or to get somebody back, etc...I should be choosing it because that's what I really want, for me. Is that correct?
it's not a matter of "correct" or "should"....just that when i tried to do it "for" a specific goal i couldn't make it last. it always ended up that i moved the goal-post. or changed my view of how baaaad things were, so that the goal didn't need to be reached anymore.
in other scenarios, i imagine that when a person achieves the goal they quit for, then what????
but just to clarify: there is no doubt that a good sober stretch will likely help with better assessment of situations you find yourself in and ways to change that.
my own experience was that i had to want it for itself, not as a stepping stone to reach something else.
though in effect, it did eventually give me the space and freedom to reach other "goals".
you may well be able to sustain long-term sobriety in order to get something done; i learned from years of trying that i couldn't.
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