Soberintexas007

Got up today and did some exercising, which felt good. Now running some errands. Have had strong cravings today, at like an 8/10 on a 10-point scale. The AV just wants me to give in.

And here is the thing. If I was having these same cravings today and was with my husband on one of his off days and we were out to dinner and he was drinking, I definitely think that I would cave in and drink. The only reason that I get through these days is because he is not drinking around me because he is at work.

I think I need to be honest with him about this and let him know that I may need some distance until these cravings become less powerful. It may mean not going our to dinner (which can be a trigger), or something else.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a good plan to me JustBreathe. But look at the bright side..you are not with him and you did not drink...that's forward progress.

CodeJob

JB,

I am concerned about you.

Soberintexas007

What in my post sparked this concern?

Soberintexas007

I am having major cravings right now, probably 9/10 on a 10-point scale. Would love to just drink my pain away. But I am busy right now. Probably should go to an AA meeting later on.

zjw

sounds like you got a good plan for today. just one day at a time

Soberintexas007

My AV is telling me how nice those drinks would be, to be able to temporarily just forget about things and not have to worry. Then my SV is telling me that it will just cause more problems in my life.

ScottFromWI

Listen to your SV. Go to the meeting. Remember that you are just 2 days sober and the cravings are most likely at their peak. They are merely thoughts that you can choose a response to.....choose the options your SV is presenting to you.

fini

JB,
have you dug into the AVRT threads on the "secular connections" forum?
lots of stuff there to help you with the irrational stuff your AV is throwing at you.

Soberintexas007

Oh my gosh, my cravings reached a peak of a 10/10 on a 10-point scale, and I thought I was doomed. But I miraculously got through it!!!

I called my husband and told him about my craving for wine. He amazingly suggested that I don't give in since I know how it makes me feel, and that I should go out to dinner and get something to eat. This was great on his part because it showed me that he is beginning to care about my recovery, and that I maybe can count on him to help me with the cravings on his off days (for example, doing things that won't trigger me).

Then my parents invited me to dinner, and that helped, as I finally was able to eat. I hadn't eaten anything the entire day, and that always triggers me. Once I started eating, I immediately felt better and the craving passed. I used to like to drink alcohol on an empty stomach, as I thought it helped me get more buzzed.

So glad I still have my Day 2 and now Day 3 to look forward to tomorrow. I have such a great day planned for myself tomorrow, including a meeting that I will be going to since two women have already texted me that they really want me to come back. So I plan on doing an extra hour of the treadmill to get ready for all of the sweets they have made during the week for the meeting. If I would have drank today, tomorrow would basically have been a hungover, depressed day.

Thank you all for you help. All of the feedback also helped me throughout the day.

littleelm

if your husband is not an alcoholic, couldn't he just simply give up that simple pleasure to help you not see the triggers for a while?

Soberintexas007

But everyone, including his mother, thinks that he is an alcoholic.

But if he truly is an alcoholic, he definitely has more control at drinking than I ever did (but he is also stoned all the time, so who knows!) But the pot does not trigger me at all, so I don't care about that.

I am going to have a talk with him before his two off days this week on Sunday and Monday to see if we can figure out something where he is not drinking in front of me.

Soberintexas007

It will be so nice to not have a restless sleep tonight. If I had drank today, I would be unable to sleep, restless, anxious, and miserable. It's amazing how much we appreciate not drinking when we actually make that choice.

Weaver

My concern is that you said if you had been with your husband, you would have probably drank. What plan do you have in place for this weekend when he inevitably drinks?

Soberintexas007

Yes, that is my concern as well. I definitely would have probably caved in if he was drinking.

But today he helped me work through the craving rather than tell me to also buy him a beer. So he has somewhat shifted. So maybe he will be willing to discuss with me a plan for his days off. Maybe he can abstain. Or maybe I can go to a meeting while he drinks a beer while I am gone and then abstains by the time I get back. I just need some sober feet under me before I can truly be around him if he is drinking. Other than that, I really do not have an answer Weaver.

Verte

Hi JB,

The postings from your last 'quit' before the cruise sounded much more optimistic for sobriety success and you appeared to have an easier time in the first weeks/months despite your husband drinking as well. What was different? Or what has changed now?

You can make this happen!

Soberintexas007

The difference is that I was gambling prior to the cruise. That was the "substance" I used that served as a substitute to get "high" when my husband was drinking. Now that I no longer gamble, I no longer have something, and now I don't have that distraction when my husband is drinking in front of me. In other words, the "former" me you thought had it so easy was a compulsive gambler, I now have almost 30 days of sobriety from compulsive gambling.