Please help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1
Please help
I'm not usually the type to ask for help or advise but it's getting really hard for me to not. Ok so I am 16 years old And my mom has been a huge alcoholic since I was about 11 years old. My mom drank before but it started getting really bad when I turned 11. I'm the only child and it's really hard for me because I really have no one to talk to this about. Sometimes I call my mom at work at 9 am and she's already drunk, everynight she comes home drunk, and if she's a little tipsy when she comes home by the end of the night shes smashed. She goes in her bathroom and drinks. I've found empty bottles multiple times. And sometimes I get so fed up with it at night so I say something to her while she's drunk and all she says is " you're blaming me for your problems" or " whatever" she never admits to it and she makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. I've begged her to get help. Shes hurting my dad and I know my dad only wants whats best for me that's why they're still together. I'm so blessed to have a wonderful dad, but I'm a girl and it's really hard on me to not have a mother that cares. I don't think she knows how bad she's hurting me, the pain gets so bad sometimes because I would do anything for her but I don't know why she wouldn't do the same for me.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear that your mom has such a bad problem. Glad to hear that your dad is there for you though, I would recommend checking out the Friends and Family of alcoholics forum here, there are many who understand and live with the same situation you are. Al-anan and Alateen are groups you may also want to consider using to help yourself deal with the issuse.
Here's the link directly to the friends and family forum:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Here's the link directly to the friends and family forum:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by 8154044 
I'm not usually the type to ask for help or advise but it's getting really hard for me to not. Ok so I am 16 years old And my mom has been a huge alcoholic since I was about 11 years old. My mom drank before but it started getting really bad when I turned 11. I'm the only child and it's really hard for me because I really have no one to talk to this about. Sometimes I call my mom at work at 9 am and she's already drunk, everynight she comes home drunk, and if she's a little tipsy when she comes home by the end of the night shes smashed. She goes in her bathroom and drinks. I've found empty bottles multiple times. And sometimes I get so fed up with it at night so I say something to her while she's drunk and all she says is " you're blaming me for your problems" or " whatever" she never admits to it and she makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. I've begged her to get help. Shes hurting my dad and I know my dad only wants whats best for me that's why they're still together. I'm so blessed to have a wonderful dad, but I'm a girl and it's really hard on me to not have a mother that cares. I don't think she knows how bad she's hurting me, the pain gets so bad sometimes because I would do anything for her but I don't know why she wouldn't do the same for me.
Are you and your dad aware of Al-Anon and Al-Ateen? These programs can help you and your dad and sometimes indirectly help the problem drinker or alcoholic in ones life when they are aware that you're attending these programs. Al-Anon helped me.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Sorry for your pain - As Scott suggested the Family and Friends area might be a good idea for you to post in.
Another member suggested Alateen. This would be helpful to gain some understanding about the nature of the disease. Perhaps you might reach out to a counselor at school and explain the situation.
Glad you're here!
Another member suggested Alateen. This would be helpful to gain some understanding about the nature of the disease. Perhaps you might reach out to a counselor at school and explain the situation.
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I wish I could go back to my childhood and handle some things different with my newfound wisdom I aquired with age and life. But in my case things are the way that they are and I've gone through whatever I've gone through for various reasons many of wich I probably dont even know or realize or maybe will realize.
My point is do what you can but try not to allow it to bring you down too much. Easier said then done but your mother has to address her issues.
Maybe talk to your father about it some?
Almost any decision you make will likely be hard one tho I imagine. Hang in there!
My point is do what you can but try not to allow it to bring you down too much. Easier said then done but your mother has to address her issues.
Maybe talk to your father about it some?
Almost any decision you make will likely be hard one tho I imagine. Hang in there!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to the family. 
I'm sorry for the reason you're here. I would suggest getting some support for you and your dad, like AlAnon and Alateen. Your mother won't change unless/until she wants to. 
There's lots of support here and on the friends and family forum.
I'm sorry for the reason you're here. I would suggest getting some support for you and your dad, like AlAnon and Alateen. Your mother won't change unless/until she wants to. 
There's lots of support here and on the friends and family forum.
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