sleepie

Hi guys, sorry to post so much. I am in a bit of the grip of an anxiety ridden time but posting here helps me manage it, thank you to all your thoughtful responses.
I was thinking there seems to be this divide between drinkers, people often ask if you were a binger or a daily drinker. I didn't think there was a difference because I binged every day. For over twelve years, which is why I will be shocked if some nasty health issue does not pop up. I'm female and everything I've read states I should kind of be dead and gone by now.

Gottalife

I think the loss of choice is the common factor. The daily drinker drinks because he has to, the periodic drinker, though theoretically free of alcohol at times, still ends up on another binge for the same reason. We just can't not drink.

I was a combination of the two. My idea of a binge was about four days non stop until I dropped. Then I would be too sick and too broke to drink for a few days, them I would be off again. Really, I drank as much as I could whenever I could, and I would have drunk more if I could. No control, no choice.

Serenity1212

That is a scare tactic I think because I can relate although I would think it's best for you to try to put it down and seek help. Even if you just put it down for a hour or 2 at first. Good luck.

Boleo

You'd be surprised how many of us here at SR are "should be dead" survivors.

ScottFromWI

I personally don't think it really matters how much or how often you drink - if it's a problem it's a problem. Further, I think it's dangerous to compare one's drinking to another, because it also allows for your AV to come up with the "heh, it's not that bad...look at how much more that guy/girl drinks than I do" excuse.

zjw

"Yep I'm not even suppose to be here today"- Dante from clerks

^thats me

I think some like to weigh the problem as if being what one thinks is more or less of an alcoholic is somehow any better to me you might be luckier then the next but if your an alcoholic your still an alcoholic regardless of what your habit was or is like

sleepie

Actually I wasn't trying to compare or make an excuse to drink. Was just something I noticed and as I tend to be an all or nothing person, drinking meant every day and far too much.

I thought all alcoholics were just like me. Til I read here all the different shades.

MIRecovery

I have found it is the control that alcohol has over us that is the common factor not our specific drinking patterns

Gottalife

It was a very good question Sleepie. It is important to understand what makes an alcoholic and sometimes it is very hard to relate if you are listening to someone's story. Let's say a housewife who has never stepped outside the law, just lead a miserable alcoholic existence in isolation. She goes to an AA meeting where, because it is her first meeting, they all share their stories.

She hears about DUIs, psychiatric hospitals, wife beating, financial calamity, broken homes, sleeping in parks, job loss, jail etc. She has never done any of these things so obviously she can't be an alcoholic.

Our stories are the things that separate us. We all have different stories, but the things we did are not what make us alcoholics.

Maybe if our housewife heard about inability to stop when we really wanted to, betrayal of our own values, feeling miserable, trying not to drink and always giving in, intending to just have one or two but losing control, guilt, remorse, frustration. This is the kind of stuff that an alcoholic of my type can relate to, regardless of who shares it.

It's not how much we drank or what we did, its about how we drank and how we felt. There are lots of similarities when we look for them.

zjw

I cant help but wonder if binge drinkers just have not fully blossomed into daily binge drinkers yet. Or maybe they got more fight in them to fight the urge for a couple days or something.

I read a book on smoking and he talked about smokers that have like a couple a day vs the 2 pack a day guy. and he's like these folks having the couple a day tend to obsess over it as well waiting all day maybe for there 2 prizes o something. They got almost a worse issue having to wait like that rather then just endulging has to be killer!

I guess some of us are just a bit more dedicated to our vices just threw in the towell and embraced the daily flow of the liquid meds.

I myself went from binge to daily binge drinker. I always felt i'd just keep a handle on it even when i daily binged I felt I had some kind of a grip on it even tho I didnt. But I did hit a point where i threw int he towell and didnt care I embraced my drinking it was like paying the water bill or taking a daily shower it was a normal part of my life. thats when i really became unhinged however.

god i'm so glad to be sober it was awful.

paintballguy

I was a daily drinker. By some measurements id have been a daily binge drinker (15+ oz of 40% hard liquor/day). I rarely got "drunk", i would sip my drinks over the entire evening and i could always put the bottle away when it.was time to go to bed so i could make it to work.

Most of my drinking "career" i had no problem not drinking at all for days. Eventually like a switch flipping i came down with a pretty bad physical dependency problem which led me into a detox.

My pattern was significantly different than the "binge drinkers" i know. Kind of people who once they pick up a drink dont stop until the bottle is gone, the money is gone, and maybe the job is gone because they didnt how up to work for days. They would spend the next week or so trying to put their life back together and like the jaywalker in the big book go on another bender and tear it all back down again.

I do think there are significant differences in drinking patterns amongst problem drinkers and that these different patterns should not only be addressed but also embraced.

I for example absolutely cannot relate to someone who would drink for 5 days straight nearly 24 hours a day and cruise through two or three days drunk instead of making it to work. That type of drinker has no self control at all and meets a lot of the AA type "one drink from drunk" warnings.

Likewise Im sure a bender drinker like the above could not at all relate to how i can have a bottle in the freezer, drink half of it, then put it away and go to bed.

Knowing our drinking patterns/style helps us to locate relevant advice that we can relate to.

QuietToday

I've seen that question come up a bit on here also.

I don't think it really matters. Binge or daily, I think there's the same end results that Gottalife mentioned above, at least in so far as clear discussions on recovery and sobriety are concerned.

Personally, I almost don't even like discussing the aspects of myself as a drinker. I feel like it's regressive to start talking about what type of drinker I am, because the only reason I'm here on SR is because the only type of drinker I want to be recognized as is following is a non-drinker

sleepie

I think about these things. It's just the way I am.

MelindaFlowers

I always wondered the same thing. I was a nightly binge drinker. 12-14 units. Never did a "bender " though, like continuous drinking morning, noon, and night.