Kingtarquin

Made it through my first sober vacation. It was an uneventful yet fulfilling vacation hanging with mom and dad. I went back to my hometown of where I grew up and without going to the bars and socializing it was quite boring yet in some strange way gratifying. This is the first time I have truly noticed how my parents are aging and time is running out on spending quality time with them. It scares me because I felt like I have missed so much time with them due to my abuse of alcohol and being so distant emotionally and physically. I live in hawaii and it is hard for me to get back to often. I feel like I have missed something with them. I don't have any children and I'm not married nor am I in a relationship and I feel like the future holds a lonely existence for me. I know it's just my emotions kicking in I just wish there is something I could do to not feel so lonely. I mean I feel ok now but I worry about the future and the near possibility of not having any family to call mine. I suppose this is the post vacation blues. I think I'm scared of time right now and I need to learn how to cope with Father Time accelerating rather quickly. I just needed to rant and to those who listen thank you!
116 days sober!!

FeelingGreat

Hi King, huge congratulations on getting through your vacation sober. I'm sure it meant a lot to your parents, even if they weren't fully aware. In your sober state you've coped with some emotions you might not have even known were there. Now you have a chance of facing and dealing with them, and maybe doing something to secure your future.

Kingtarquin

I think that's why it scares me because I really don't know how to do that yet. However it is a work in progress. Any advice I welcome and I hope everyone knows it is truly appreciated whether you know me or not.

FeelingGreat

Look I know if sounds facile, but you can Google 'how to make friends' or 'social anxiety' and you'll often get very reasonable advice written by mental health providers. It's often a case of common sense (like join a hiking club etc), but if you have trouble getting out of your cocoon, like me, you could see a therapist who is willing to coach you through the process. It helps if you've got someone to give you feedback and encourage you.
Apparently finding a mate is largely dependent on how many people you meet in a social context, but if you're shy then maybe you need some encouragement.

Dee74

Congrats

On 'wasted time'...I've done more in eight years sober than the 20 years before that...live today for today and you won't regret it KT

D

Kingtarquin

So much for success. I have done it again. Lost complete control of my drinking and no one around me can tel or at least cares to tell. I hate reaching out on this site because it becomes a broken record. I don't know what I want from anything anymore. I have lost my passion and just the thought of daily activities haunt me so I lay in bed all day. Blah blah blah, like I said a broken record. I can't remember what sobriety feels like so I keep pursuing the bottle of so called comfort.

Dee74

Welcome back Kingtarquin

why not use this site regularly for a while?

get some ideas, support and encouragement to stay sober?
you could do worse?

D

Kingtarquin

Honestly this sight is somewhat confusing just to post rants and communicate or should i say reach out for help can be confusing. But I will try. Thank you

Dee74

If you have any questions just ask KT
D