skg

This is an example I refer to when I say, "Don't Celebrate!" after making a milestone, taking a chip, achieving a particular birthday, etc. The sense of accomplishment, euphoria, congratulatory egoism is an extreme emotional high that can be as devastating as the lows for folks who don't have a solution to address the feelings that come as a result of not drinking.

It is also why newcomers need sponsors or guides to alert them of the emotional pitfalls and walk through struggles of getting sober--BEFORE picking up the drink. It's also why there's a set of steps suggested as a program of recovery that teach principles for living life on life's terms. The emotional sobriety comes in time and yes, celebrations do resume contingent on one's spiritual condition...

To the newcomers? Why not put the 'yabbuts' aside and focus on the solution rather than the problem? What have you got to lose? Sanity? Freedom? Life? Those are gonna go anyway, and in that order (if you're really lucky) if left untreated... Your misery will be fully refunded (with interest) if you want to go back where you are...

peaceness

Boleo

For the most part, I no longer believe in triggers... Except maybe one - Success. Or at least, "Excess Success".

ScottFromWI

I would disagree with this. I've seen people return to drinking after celebrating an accomplishment, but I've also seen them do it after a low point. Or even sometimes when they are at neither end of the high/low spectrum but simply think that they are cured or don't need to follow their program or method of sobriety.

I personally feel the key is daily work towards the ultimate goal of sobriety.

fini

what's so for some isn't true for all.

learning how to celebrate without drinking is entire possible and highly desirable. and i wouldn't ever discourage the person who'll hopefully bake me a cake for my next milestone

Boleo

I've seen people who waited literally years to get their drivers license back, relapse within weeks of their new found success. Were they celebrating?

least

I celebrate anything special in my life with an extra dog walk.

skg

Dug this up...

FeenixxRising

Well, one should also ask how many people gave themselves a nice pat on the back after reaching a milestone, and then went on to achieve another sober milestone, and then another sober milestone, and another, and another . . .

Of course, there's nothing wrong with suggesting that humility may be a good course of action to help maintain sobriety, but taking a little pride in one's behavior and accomplishments is hardly "an extreme emotional high". IMO, it's a good thing.

Soberwolf

I just 'celebrated' my 21st month milestone by helping others which in turn helps me

When i was part of AA i was told the 24h chip is the most important so i gave it to my father i only collected my 6 & 8 month chips

Wasnt at a mtn on the other milestones

Didnt pick up a year chip as i had left AA at that point and i 'Celebrated' with my 4 yr old neice

Found SR at 13 months and i was counting my milestones until i reached 18 months now i dont count & i had to be reminded by a wall post that yesterday was my 21st month milestone sometimes i forget

some people count some people dont if you dont fair enough but if you do you know why your 'celebrating'

SOBRIETY

Fly N Buy

SW = 21 months is Awesome!!!
Congratulations my friend!!!

Fly N Buy

Different strokes for different folks, for sure.
My problem was anything worth doing, including celebrating should be done to excess!!! I attempt to temper most things today......with the exception of cake

The solution for me is indeed a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. I am around 8 week from a year.......I still smile when I get a chip for sure, but not much else. Maybe when I hit 25 years I will cheer.......

I was taught we pick up a chip for us but also for the guy who is following us so they may witness that sobriety for this ole drunk is indeed possible.

Hope! That's the resounding chorus we should all "celebrate" each day, by grace.
All who are sober today are winners!!

Turtle82

It depends, as always, on attitude. I would never discourage anyone from celebrating if their approach is gratitude. Life is to be lived joyously as in "happy, joyous and free" certainly reason for celebration! After receiving my 30-day chip with accompanying applause and hugs, I was still crying in the middle of the night. I was terrified it meant I was going to drink again and called my sponsor who told me they were tears of joy! That was the first time I ever experienced it well into my 40s. I will forever be grateful for that celebration shared with the loving members of AA. The "click" of alcohol's euphoria can't compare with real joy.

Soberwolf

Fly i love you man....with the exception of cake rofl you sir are a legend

Cake is awesome

awuh1

When I hit 1 year sober I could not escape the thought of having a drink to celebrate. Even realizing that this thought was total insanity it persisted. Sometimes we need to learn new ways to celebrate, as well as new ways to think.

CAPTAINZING2000

We don't seem to handle success to well. We are used to living in chaos the idea of everything running smoothly is foreign to us.

Harsh reality of this is seeing that person come back all beat up after a relapse keeps me going to meetings. I still enjoy watching people get their lives on track staying sober.

Che

I think this is more about learning to celebrate without alcohol, than celebrating / feeling pride being a problem.

Of course for alcoholics who have looked for every excuse to drink, celebrating with alcohol (meaning getting completely hammered) is very reflexive. It's a response to a little success that you've trained yourself to do. But you can untrain yourself, and that's the whole process of overcoming alcohol. It's unlearning all the dumb things you trained yourself to do.

Ichi

'As an insurance against "big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more God's success than ours'

Hey skg,

I am not being difficult and don't wish to offend anyone but I really am struggling to get this. I don't see how this is a helpful idea. In fact I don't even know who or what we are referring to here? Does this mean 'God' takes the blame when things go wrong too? Or just the credit when things go right? I get the fact there are lots of people and processes that are involved in helping someone get sober and they all deserve huge amounts of appreciation but I am at a loss to understand what 'God', even the vague all encompassing definition has to do with this. And I especially do not understand why he / she / it / they would deserve to get the all the credit. If you've barely anything to do with it in the first place why bother? To me this is just as powerless as the relationship with alcohol in the first place. I just find these kind of statements part of an absolute muddle of messages you find in recovery circles that I personally find really unhelpful and struggle to see how they can possibly help anyone get better. Again I don't want to offend anyone - I'm just at a loss to understand this idea. If it has helped people recover and they are happy with this concept - brilliant. But equally I think this could be really unhelpful for people who are not coming at this problem from a very very specific angle. Hope all is well

FeenixxRising

Congratulations on 21 months wolf, and thank you for the inspiration.

soberlicious

I love to celebrate! I have acknowledged my quit date every year with something fun...one year I went sky diving, another a helicopter ride, new shoes, sunset boat cruise, one year a friend threw a surprise party, etc, etc...and I usually get new ink around that time every year...and when I quit smoking I celebrated by sleeving my right arm. Good times, and not just my yearly date. I celebrate so many things. I didn't quit drinking to be unhappy. I am free, so I can celebrate life!

Bad things don't make someone drink and good things don't make someone drink...allowing the mind to use any of life's events as excuses to drink is what ultimately makes someone drink, imo.

skg

There's that word again... Aside from that, I don't offend easily these days. Product of a 'design for living' I never found anywhere but in the rooms of A.A.
It's an excerpt from the literature of A.A. If you've not experienced The Steps, you'll not understand the meaning, and that's alright, too. Contempt prior to investigation kept me ignorant for a long time even IN the rooms because I rejected any notion of a solution that involved the God I would only later come to understand. Keep seeking--He doesn't make it difficult for those who truly yearn to find Him.[/quote]
Not at all. In fact, God can DO NO HARM because it's against His very Being. We live in a fallen domain brought about by Pride and Sin. If you want a quick tutorial I'll be very happy to PM with you and answer any questions you might have. I don't have to defend my love for God and I will be happy to spend that time with you.
God works everything for good in those who love Him. It's a scripture but I haven't quoted it directly for your benefit. I will give you their references if you like? He promises to weave together all things to glorify Him through us as we trust Him to do so.
Simply because I am alive PURELY as a result of His Grace. How is that confusing?
Because one cannot realize spiritual growth without spiritual actions. Intellectualism has killed many an alcoholic far too smart to accept some simple spiritual tools. That's why many of us have to be shown how to recover through a regimen of steps designed to bring about a psychic change; they don't work unless they are completed.
It IS brilliant, too! And brilliantly simple. Brilliantly effective. Brilliantly dynamic as to work in all circumstances.
Oh, don't waffle with your answer, pick a line and drop into the bumps. It only works if YOU work it, and YOU must tailor your efforts to YOUR conditions, just like skiing through the bumps.
PM me anytime--and thanks for the questions!