Don't Celebrate
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
So LOTS of fun replies! Yes, it's an awareness campaign that hopefully the newly sober will consider when challenged with emotional sobriety in good times, not just bad. I respect that many want to bewail the necessity to be somber in a moment otherwise festive and joyous and that comes in time.
You want a reality check, though, walk up to the broken untreated Al-Anon and tell them you're celebrating a whole month of sobriety without a drink! And duck...
Better yet, call a normal grandmother/grandfather and tell them you're celebrating six months of not drinking. They might say something to the effect, "That's nice. I've not had a drink in 70 years (unless they're one of us...)" Normies are weird that way...
We alcoholics like to celebrate everything--even the nothingness we lived in for years. Most normal people will say something like, "Great. You're doing what you are supposed to be doing."
Lighten up and feel the breeze against your face today, and give credit where credit is due. And STAY SOBAH!!
You want a reality check, though, walk up to the broken untreated Al-Anon and tell them you're celebrating a whole month of sobriety without a drink! And duck...
Better yet, call a normal grandmother/grandfather and tell them you're celebrating six months of not drinking. They might say something to the effect, "That's nice. I've not had a drink in 70 years (unless they're one of us...)" Normies are weird that way...
We alcoholics like to celebrate everything--even the nothingness we lived in for years. Most normal people will say something like, "Great. You're doing what you are supposed to be doing."
Lighten up and feel the breeze against your face today, and give credit where credit is due. And STAY SOBAH!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Seriously tho...there's another side to this too..
Newcomers love to hear stories of success. It gives them hope and confidence.
I'd much rather let my anniversaries go by unnoticed but I do recognise they can do some good.
D
Newcomers love to hear stories of success. It gives them hope and confidence.
I'd much rather let my anniversaries go by unnoticed but I do recognise they can do some good.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
I'm celebrating 917 days and 21 hours and 33 minutes sober. (Just looked it up on the SR calculator so it must be true) Got a whole bag of chips......... some dip and a glass of N/A cranberry juice. Oh and the Cubs are winning.
Every day I wake up is a day worth celebrating. The trick is in how you celebrate.
Every day I wake up is a day worth celebrating. The trick is in how you celebrate.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by skg
Most normal people will say something like, "Great. You're doing what you are supposed to be doing."
The word celebrate is synonymous with words like commemorate, honor, mark, remember. It doesn't have to mean big, loud, or gregarious. Celebrations can be low key.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 24
Hey skg,
I was well aware this was from AA literature and I have both attended meetings and read the twelve steps.
This has zero to do with recovery as far as I am concerned. You are extremely dismissive of the 'yabbuts' as if they are all coming from the same place as opposed to being some completely valid issues with the entanglement of recovery with religion which is a huge issue for many people who come face to face with AA.
The 'yabbuts' we are talking about here are not excuses to drink, drug and keep on abusing. We're talking about perfectly reasonable problems people have with taking on a set of concepts and beliefs that many do not and will not share.
The fact that this has for so long been the main and in many cases only treatment available for people is dangerous as it puts many people off before they even start. They have enough to deal with without feeling like they have to take on a Judeo Christian set of beliefs with all of it's 'not worthy', submissive disempowering ideology. I expect the 'god as you understand him' response but you even mention scripture and in my experience this is what AA rooms are full of.
I am happy this has worked for you but the tone and language in your reply 'contempt prior to investigation' 'ignorant' 'you'll not understand' sounds incredibly patronising as if you have you have the exclusive answers that are beyond people who have not 'got it' and again typical of what I have found in AA.
The aim of recovery is to get sober which many have in secular non-religious programs. I would have no issue with faith based recovery if it was very specific approach people choose at the beginning for them. Unfortunately for many it is the only thing they are offered and can be a complete hindrance by making them feel even more isolated and hopeless due to their lack of faith or desire to take on this very specific set of beliefs. I am happy this has worked for you but it needs to be stated repeatedly that there are many other options and many people who have become successfully sober without becoming persons of faith. They have as much chance of success and people who are on their knees should not be kept there by an ideology which tells them they have very little to do with anything even in their own recovery as it's all 'God's' grace, success, hand etc.
Thanks for the reply. Hope all is well
I was well aware this was from AA literature and I have both attended meetings and read the twelve steps.
This has zero to do with recovery as far as I am concerned. You are extremely dismissive of the 'yabbuts' as if they are all coming from the same place as opposed to being some completely valid issues with the entanglement of recovery with religion which is a huge issue for many people who come face to face with AA.
The 'yabbuts' we are talking about here are not excuses to drink, drug and keep on abusing. We're talking about perfectly reasonable problems people have with taking on a set of concepts and beliefs that many do not and will not share.
The fact that this has for so long been the main and in many cases only treatment available for people is dangerous as it puts many people off before they even start. They have enough to deal with without feeling like they have to take on a Judeo Christian set of beliefs with all of it's 'not worthy', submissive disempowering ideology. I expect the 'god as you understand him' response but you even mention scripture and in my experience this is what AA rooms are full of.
I am happy this has worked for you but the tone and language in your reply 'contempt prior to investigation' 'ignorant' 'you'll not understand' sounds incredibly patronising as if you have you have the exclusive answers that are beyond people who have not 'got it' and again typical of what I have found in AA.
The aim of recovery is to get sober which many have in secular non-religious programs. I would have no issue with faith based recovery if it was very specific approach people choose at the beginning for them. Unfortunately for many it is the only thing they are offered and can be a complete hindrance by making them feel even more isolated and hopeless due to their lack of faith or desire to take on this very specific set of beliefs. I am happy this has worked for you but it needs to be stated repeatedly that there are many other options and many people who have become successfully sober without becoming persons of faith. They have as much chance of success and people who are on their knees should not be kept there by an ideology which tells them they have very little to do with anything even in their own recovery as it's all 'God's' grace, success, hand etc.
Thanks for the reply. Hope all is well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Thanks, Ichi.
Well, Ichi, I only share MY experience, and don't speculate on the possibilities for others these days. Nor do I feel inclined to defend all of AA, all of the Christian faithful, nor all recovery prospects available to those who struggle. I share what worked for me. Take what you want and leave the rest. The issues you have are yours, not mine.
I'm happy to celebrate Christ with you as I don't have to defend Him nor argue the efficacy of His dominion. That is fully documented throughout history and even within the AA program. I'm sorry you do not approve, but that's a you thing.
Peaceness.
edited to add:
I'm happy to celebrate Christ with you as I don't have to defend Him nor argue the efficacy of His dominion. That is fully documented throughout history and even within the AA program. I'm sorry you do not approve, but that's a you thing.
Peaceness.
edited to add:
*~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~*
ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY"
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66
"Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words. It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can't afford them -- or I surely would indulge in them.
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY"
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66
"Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words. It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can't afford them -- or I surely would indulge in them.
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Don't celebrate your sobriety? This is excellent advice for anyone who hasn't yet accepted the permanence of their abstinence. If you aren't sober for good, then something like a sobriety celebration might just be the thing that would destroy your undecided position on alcohol.
On the other hand, if you really have quit drinking for good, you have every right to be proud of your accomplishment, your triumph of your spirit and your personal growth in the face of what are seen by some as insurmountable obstacles to physical, mental and spiritual growth.
I think it makes you a badass. If anything calls a quiet mindful moment of self congratulation, that would be it. If there happens to be cake, maybe just a small piece?
On the other hand, if you really have quit drinking for good, you have every right to be proud of your accomplishment, your triumph of your spirit and your personal growth in the face of what are seen by some as insurmountable obstacles to physical, mental and spiritual growth.
I think it makes you a badass. If anything calls a quiet mindful moment of self congratulation, that would be it. If there happens to be cake, maybe just a small piece?
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by esinger 
I'm celebrating 917 days and 21 hours and 33 minutes sober. (Just looked it up on the SR calculator so it must be true) Got a whole bag of chips......... some dip and a glass of N/A cranberry juice. Oh and the Cubs are winning.
Every day I wake up is a day worth celebrating. The trick is in how you celebrate.
Every day I wake up is a day worth celebrating. The trick is in how you celebrate.
Probably a lot harder admitting you're a cub fan
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by skg
I'm happy to celebrate Christ with you as I don't have to defend Him nor argue the efficacy of His dominion. That is fully documented throughout history and even within the AA program. I'm sorry you do not approve, but that's a you thing.
:
:
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
He Lives!
Originally Posted by Bmac
Tradition #10. Pretty sure faith in Jesus would fall under "outside issues".
Not The Steps, not the Traditions, except for those of us who try to pass them on. It's a free-for-all here sometimes. And I'm free to have my faith--constitutionally, in fact. I don't, "Shove the Dove," but when questioned, I'll respond with MY experience. I thank you for your concern in my recovery program, too. Truly. In fact, I always close the AA meetings I chair with, "Thank you everyone for being a part of my sobriety today." I need all the help I can get from the WE and the Oui.
One of these days I'll have to ask everyone who's so concerned about my faith to defend their rejection of eternal life and their life of sin. Since they are so well read in the theologies, it should be an orderly and stimulating event, right? THAT should stir some discussion, don't you think? Just kidding. It seems it's appropriate for non-christians (little 'c' intentional) to concern themselves with my faith, but inappropriate for me to ask the same of them. As AA doesn't care Who the God of my understanding is, why should anyone else? Except that this isn't AA... If anyone cared to listen to my recovery story, they'd be quite shocked to find a very different person prior to coming into the rooms.
Alright, boys and girls, I'm done with this thread. Don't Celebrate! Stay sobah!
Peace.
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by skg
One of these days I'll have to ask everyone who's so concerned about my faith to defend their rejection of eternal life and their life of sin. Since they are so well read in the theologies, it should be an orderly and stimulating event, right? THAT should stir some discussion, don't you think?
Love you too skg. I don't care if our beliefs are the same or not. I only care that if either of us reaches out our hand for help, the other will be there. I will, and I'm quite convinced you will also.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 24
I had written several lengthy replies but I have decided against publishing them as it is completely pointless. I'm off to find a less AA based forum. I grew up with fundamentalist firebrand American christianity and have absolutely no desire to return to the poison. It's nauseating ignorant stuff. Best of luck everyone.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Maybe I am missing something here but I didn't take the part that was quoted in the OP as celebrating.
That person is not and does not make a comment that they are drinking because they felt good about having 6 months sober. At least I didn't read it that way.
That person is drinking because they have not surrendered to the fact that they are an alcoholic. They are drinking because they are an active alcoholic, that is what we do. They may not have been actually drinking alcohol but they are still active in their own mind. They are not looking at things differently which to me is apparent by the pity party statements at the end.
They do not have the concept of sobriety yet. They have pulled things down again because they don't trust the program, the people or a HP. They returned to what they feel is the only thing that gives them relief.
I have celebrated every month I was sober at first and now I celebrate everyday. It is a gift. When I got my two year token you better believe I smiled, laughed and felt gratitude. I was grateful for the AA program, the steps, the people and that I was able to find the willingness to get to that day. Damn straight I celebrated. I was alive.
That person is not and does not make a comment that they are drinking because they felt good about having 6 months sober. At least I didn't read it that way.
That person is drinking because they have not surrendered to the fact that they are an alcoholic. They are drinking because they are an active alcoholic, that is what we do. They may not have been actually drinking alcohol but they are still active in their own mind. They are not looking at things differently which to me is apparent by the pity party statements at the end.
They do not have the concept of sobriety yet. They have pulled things down again because they don't trust the program, the people or a HP. They returned to what they feel is the only thing that gives them relief.
I have celebrated every month I was sober at first and now I celebrate everyday. It is a gift. When I got my two year token you better believe I smiled, laughed and felt gratitude. I was grateful for the AA program, the steps, the people and that I was able to find the willingness to get to that day. Damn straight I celebrated. I was alive.
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