A Year of Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
A Year of Sobriety
I've been meaning to post something about this, but I kept putting it off. Today I realized that it's important to myself that I write about this.
I've been sober a little over 14 months now.
During my first year of sobriety nothing around me really changed. Well, I had a baby actually. That changed things a lot. He was 5 months old when I had my last drink. But I still had to deal with stress. In fact, there was a lot more stress than there was before. I had more financial worries as I wasn't working anymore. My marriage was still on the rocks. I had a new baby to worry about.
Nothing and everything changed during my first year of sobriety. As I said before, nothing around me really changed. Everything changed within me. Things weren't as dark. I stopped having to take antidepressants. I stopped crying every day. Obstacles weren't as big. And I certainly felt better physically. My memory was 10x better (because I wasn't having blackouts). I was able to get more fit because I didn't constantly have a hangover. So, even though the stress was still there, things got a little easier for me because I wasn't always a mess. But I still had to put in a lot of work.
When I was drinking I used to mourn the life I had before I started drinking heavily. I often mourned who I used to be. Or at least, who I thought I was. Part of me knew that my heavy drinking was causing my depression, but I couldn't stop. And it was more complicated than that anyway. I thought I had ruined my life by getting a DUI. So, I drank to cope with that. I drank to cope with a lot of things. I even drank to cope with drinking!
Surprisingly, a lot of those things I missed about myself came back after I quit drinking. I became more motivated. I became more confident. I don't give up as easily. I'm definitely a lot more level headed. But I'm still not the person I was before I started drinking or before I got that DUI. That person didn't quite know how to cope. That person was much more judgmental of others. She was a perfectionist. She thought she had everything figured out. So, I honestly feel like the things I went through with my alcoholism taught me a lot. They were hard lessons, but I feel like I'm a stronger person as a result. And a much more compassionate person.
Like I said, I had to put in a lot of work. Especially at the beginning. I had a lot of guilt to deal with. I had a lot of soul searching to do. And the work still isn't done. It'll probably never be done. I think I already wrote a blog about what has helped me stay sober, so I won't include it in this one.
I still get urges to drink from time to time, but don't worry if you're reading this and you're newly sober. Those urges are a hell of a lot more manageable and pea sized compared to the ones I was having newly sober. A year of abstaining teaches you how to cope with those urges. Every time I overcame an urge a new way of coping was added to my tool box. Even if it was just a minuscule urge. So those urges are "fleeting", as they say in AA.
In summary- In a year of sobriety everything changed for the better within me. I feel a lot better physically. Urges are still present, but they're manageable. On the whole, I'm a lot happier and more fulfilled. I'm finally living again and I'm no longer mourning who I thought I used to be. Good luck to you if you're newly sober or wanting to be sober and you're reading this. You can do it, and you'll be grateful you did!
I've been sober a little over 14 months now.
During my first year of sobriety nothing around me really changed. Well, I had a baby actually. That changed things a lot. He was 5 months old when I had my last drink. But I still had to deal with stress. In fact, there was a lot more stress than there was before. I had more financial worries as I wasn't working anymore. My marriage was still on the rocks. I had a new baby to worry about.
Nothing and everything changed during my first year of sobriety. As I said before, nothing around me really changed. Everything changed within me. Things weren't as dark. I stopped having to take antidepressants. I stopped crying every day. Obstacles weren't as big. And I certainly felt better physically. My memory was 10x better (because I wasn't having blackouts). I was able to get more fit because I didn't constantly have a hangover. So, even though the stress was still there, things got a little easier for me because I wasn't always a mess. But I still had to put in a lot of work.
When I was drinking I used to mourn the life I had before I started drinking heavily. I often mourned who I used to be. Or at least, who I thought I was. Part of me knew that my heavy drinking was causing my depression, but I couldn't stop. And it was more complicated than that anyway. I thought I had ruined my life by getting a DUI. So, I drank to cope with that. I drank to cope with a lot of things. I even drank to cope with drinking!
Surprisingly, a lot of those things I missed about myself came back after I quit drinking. I became more motivated. I became more confident. I don't give up as easily. I'm definitely a lot more level headed. But I'm still not the person I was before I started drinking or before I got that DUI. That person didn't quite know how to cope. That person was much more judgmental of others. She was a perfectionist. She thought she had everything figured out. So, I honestly feel like the things I went through with my alcoholism taught me a lot. They were hard lessons, but I feel like I'm a stronger person as a result. And a much more compassionate person.
Like I said, I had to put in a lot of work. Especially at the beginning. I had a lot of guilt to deal with. I had a lot of soul searching to do. And the work still isn't done. It'll probably never be done. I think I already wrote a blog about what has helped me stay sober, so I won't include it in this one.
I still get urges to drink from time to time, but don't worry if you're reading this and you're newly sober. Those urges are a hell of a lot more manageable and pea sized compared to the ones I was having newly sober. A year of abstaining teaches you how to cope with those urges. Every time I overcame an urge a new way of coping was added to my tool box. Even if it was just a minuscule urge. So those urges are "fleeting", as they say in AA.
In summary- In a year of sobriety everything changed for the better within me. I feel a lot better physically. Urges are still present, but they're manageable. On the whole, I'm a lot happier and more fulfilled. I'm finally living again and I'm no longer mourning who I thought I used to be. Good luck to you if you're newly sober or wanting to be sober and you're reading this. You can do it, and you'll be grateful you did!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Congrats, Lulu and thanks for the informative post!
I'm also about 14.5 months sober and a lot of the first year was progressing in slow non-linear motions and loops for me, inside-out. I've actually been experiencing some of the most dramatic changes both inside and in my external reality and perspectives since ~the actual one-year mark, I feel I no longer work on sobriety per se or fixing what went wrong during my drinking, but on my life, everything on new levels
It subjectively feels much more fulfilling now for me. Of course the perception of problems and limitations is different, too.
Like you, I also feel that my alcoholism and the things that I'd been through during my heavy drinking times taught me invaluable lessons both about myself and about functioning in the world.
Keep up the good work
I'm also about 14.5 months sober and a lot of the first year was progressing in slow non-linear motions and loops for me, inside-out. I've actually been experiencing some of the most dramatic changes both inside and in my external reality and perspectives since ~the actual one-year mark, I feel I no longer work on sobriety per se or fixing what went wrong during my drinking, but on my life, everything on new levels
It subjectively feels much more fulfilling now for me. Of course the perception of problems and limitations is different, too. Like you, I also feel that my alcoholism and the things that I'd been through during my heavy drinking times taught me invaluable lessons both about myself and about functioning in the world.
Keep up the good work
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Love your post and you are so right...drinking is so hard, it makes the hard things in life harder. Congrats to you on this milestone. xo
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
