zjw

my son has a hike tommorrow. i've stressed over it for days. what to do what to do should i go should i stay home. I thought well its a nice hike int he woods and maybe i'll go and run it then catch up with them. oh oh that would be rude but i'm not social and i dont want to socialize with these people. Oh but then i'd have to do that father son thing with my son right? Oh geeze the horror maybe i wont go i got all sorts of chores i need to do etc..

thinking further about it I decided it would be rude to go and run it and ignore the group. My sons not getting any younger and life is short I should seize the opportunity to spend some quality time with him even tho things could be better they certainly wont be better however if i dont put forth some effort. I'm also haunted by memories of when i was a kid and how horrible these sorts of activities where with my step father etc.. and those memories will haunt me while on this hike i'm sure.

But the upside is I think i'm improving. I'm not as stressed about it this time. I think i'm making the right choice by going. I think i'm improving. it didnt bring me incredible anxiety this time either i mean i still have plenty but it coulda been worse.

This will help me get out of my head etc..

Just curious others opinions others who have dealt with such things etc...

methodman1019

Hi zjw

Your post struck me this morning. You describe exactly how I feel/think about an upcoming task or event. I can completely fluster myself with all the "projecting" on what might be. By the way, I call it projecting, just my little term for it. I do it constantly. Now normally I yell at myself internally to STOP projecting. My other little thing that helps me is a small mantra I do...

"stop thinking and just do"

Thanks for your post.

All the best,
Methodman

zjw

yeah i over think stuff and theres all these road blocks along the way in my through process. what should be an easy choice go be a good dad and hike with your son turns into this very complex process filled with all sorts of stress and anxiety and emotion.

In times past i would have not gone and stayed home and just drank screw it. or if i went iw oulda been miserable and been in a hurry to get home and drink.

While im past the drinking part with the decision it stil can stress me out. LIke i said in this case it came about a bit easier then normal oddly.

ScottFromWI

I have gotten much more involved with my kids since i've been sober, and it has been a very eye opening experience. Just being there is better than not being there - many kids parent's are not willing to spend time with them for whatever reason, mine also used to be because I was too busy drinking. Just go - you'll find something you enjoy no matter what happens.

zjw

i've always been good about it with my other kids. but there has always been some kind of a rift between me and my oldest. I think part of it is my problems and part of it is his so its hard for us to find common ground. All the while ultimately its stupid but I know in my case I have a hard time getting over myself and my BS.