being adult child and alcoholic
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Second star to the right....
Posts: 845
being adult child and alcoholic
hi, im new to considering aa or maybe something else with my drinking issues. ive tried some meetings but I find aa mega triggers a lot of fear remembering my violent A father so for now feel safer online. anyone else felt that? ive gone to alanon a long time for adult child stuff but here i am wanting to stop drinking not sure if aa is for me. ive heard its not the only way but i think if i keep on drinking it might not be good for my health...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I was very uncertain and fearful of taking that step to attending AA, and struggled alone initially. Thankfully I found my way in through the doors of the fellowship, and am so grateful that I did so.
I think that people are right, it's not the ONLY way. But it is an amazing support system and fellowship, and I'm grateful every day for the fact that I gave it a chance.
The worst that will happen is that you won't like it and will then try a different route. Can I say as well, there are lots of different meetings. The groups in the city I started in were very varied, with some being smaller or larger and different ratios of men to women, and I found that I preferred some to others. I've since moved to another city and my home group here is amazing. We have an equal number of men and women (not sure if this is as unusual as I felt it was - but I'm glad of the gender balance) and older and younger people from a real mix of backgrounds. There are lots of differences, but as todays Daily Reflection reminds me, 'I am not different'.
'I'M NOT DIFFERENT
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself "different" in A. A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.'
I can understand your fearfulness remembering a violent alcoholic. But remember, you will only find people on a journey of sobriety in your AA group. You will likely be amazed by the kindness and genuine welcome you receive. There may well be people there who have acted in violent and troubled ways in their alcohol fuelled pasts, but you will know this only if they mention it, and more repentant people you're unlikely to meet.
From a gratitude filled AA member, please give it a chance. Those promises really can and do come true. xxx
The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed
before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
I think that people are right, it's not the ONLY way. But it is an amazing support system and fellowship, and I'm grateful every day for the fact that I gave it a chance.
The worst that will happen is that you won't like it and will then try a different route. Can I say as well, there are lots of different meetings. The groups in the city I started in were very varied, with some being smaller or larger and different ratios of men to women, and I found that I preferred some to others. I've since moved to another city and my home group here is amazing. We have an equal number of men and women (not sure if this is as unusual as I felt it was - but I'm glad of the gender balance) and older and younger people from a real mix of backgrounds. There are lots of differences, but as todays Daily Reflection reminds me, 'I am not different'.
'I'M NOT DIFFERENT
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself "different" in A. A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.'
I can understand your fearfulness remembering a violent alcoholic. But remember, you will only find people on a journey of sobriety in your AA group. You will likely be amazed by the kindness and genuine welcome you receive. There may well be people there who have acted in violent and troubled ways in their alcohol fuelled pasts, but you will know this only if they mention it, and more repentant people you're unlikely to meet.
From a gratitude filled AA member, please give it a chance. Those promises really can and do come true. xxx
The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed
before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
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