JeffreyAK

There are diagnostic criteria for alcohol abuse and dependence, Appendix B: DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria for Alcohol Abuse and Dependence - The Surgeon General's Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking - NCBI Bookshelf, but I think only you can answer questions like "Am I an alcoholic" as well as define what that means to you. Have you tried to go say a month or 3 months with zero drinks, to see what it's like? The results might be illuminating for you, for example you may find excuses to chuck the plan and drink anyways, or you may find that you feel so much better after a while that your willpower is firmed up to either drink less permanently, or quit entirely. Life without alcohol can really be wonderful, even if that concept seems scary to you now.

Jupiters

hey thomas...I've learned through having some sober time under my belt...that I can relax all the time without booze. I remember my weekends now. I'm more productive during them as well b/c I'm not in a drunken stupor or hung over wasting away the time. I'm more alert and productive at work b/c I'm not still reeling from the after effects of my weekends.
I have more money in the bank and more money to spend on treating my body well (taking yoga, getting regular massages, counselling) ...AND I don't have the insane panic attacks I had when drinking.

that's a whole lotta relaxation right there

doggonecarl

Perhaps I'm reading this incorrectly, but the "if it ever interferes with my life again...its over," phrase implies that it isn't over for you just yet, that you are thinking you can control your drinking.

My friend, vigilance over one's drinking is a facade. Yet, you seem determined to learn this the hard way.

thomas11

Well, this weekend was a not so subtle reminder that alcohol is poison. Withdrawal symptoms all day yesterday, no panic attacks, but strong pulse, mild shakes. Yuk. I'm doing some serious re evaluating.

Jupiters

sorry to hear Thomas.
We've all been there. Hope you feel better soon!
water water water!

thomas11

Thanks Jupiters. I guess the upside is that I feel pretty good today and I DO NOT crave alcohol...at all. And I like that.

thomas11

I need to get this off my chest. I have to make a lifestyle change, that final step. My alcohol consumption on Friday's and Saturday's is unacceptable. Its not normal and its not appropriate for someone my age. Then when its over its a race to "get healthy" again over the next 24-36 hours. I feel like a hamster on a hamster wheel. I guess the one good thing is I really enjoy being sober. I feel productive and responsible, and it feels good. Then I blow it on the weekend. Its ridiculous. I think I'm going to try and substitute running for drinking. If I get an urge, I'll jump on the treadmill. I guess we'll find out this Friday if it works.

Hevyn

Hi thomas. I did that for years - the weekend drinking. As I recall, around Wednesday I'd begin to feel alive again. Pure insanity. Instead of seeing the warning signs (like you are) I continued for decades trying to manage it - always believing I could use willpower to control what I drank. It never worked once - there was no civilized 'glass of wine' with dinner. Always the whole bottle. My life fell apart because I refused to admit the obvious. In the end, I was drinking all day. That never has to happen to you.

thomas11

You are correct Hevyn, I do think I can manage it, but its becoming clear that I am not doing a good job of that. Typically I try to get straightened out on Sunday and Monday I'm fine. Today was different. The first half of the day was uncomfortable.