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Confused feelings

Old 02-14-2015, 12:54 PM
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Confused feelings

Hi all.

Well I'm here again out of concern. I am one of those guys who keeps flirting with sobriety but never quite commits since he's not sure he really has a problem but probably does.

In a nutshell I have averaged about a bottle and a half of wine a day for over five years now. Progressively it turned into drinking in the morning on top of the regular day. I didnt drink much on the job but I wasn't at work much either, so I'd have more or less a four hour break, max, before getting back to it. When I think about it, I'd drink most all of the day if I could.

Honestly I've never been one to get drunk. I've never had even a moving violation, much less a DUI (knock wood). There aren't many times I can count that I've felt out of control.

And yet with all that I've managed to knock back bottle after bottle every day. Well over the last couple years health issues have begun to spring up. The first one being digestion. Lot of acid reflux and heart burn. It kinda gave me a scare so I went to the doc maybe 10 months ago and they did some tests and everything turned out ok. Liver, heart, urine all looked great she said.

But I gradually began to cut back over the last few months. I'd say lately I have been drinking about half as much as I had been, in fact maybe less than that on the average...like two a day instead of uh...8 or 9?

Here's the thing. Lately I've noticed my blood pressure is 135/88 on average. For me this is very high since I average below 120/80. What's more I've had moments of tension in the chest and feeling a bit spacey with some mild pressure in the head and there is a lump in my throat that comes and goes

Then again I've had a lot of financial stress and external pressure lately...so I don't know.

I'm making an appointment with the doc but I also wanted to run this by you all as well. What's confusing to me is that if anything I'm drinking less, not more. I have heard that withdrawal symptoms can really f*** you up but at the same time it's not like I have quit and gone cold turkey or anything. I'm still having at least a couple drinks per day.

On the other hand, I'm not drinking all day either. My body hasn't had time to saturate itself like it used to. So i guess I'm confused if these complications are a result of long term alcohol consumption or if it's a shortage of alcohol consumption, a type of semi withdrawal rearing it's ugly head....or maybe both??

I'm actually a little concerned and feel pretty overwhelmed about it. I'm taking slow steps in the right direction but don't know what to think about all this. Any insightful experience would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading if you got this far and happy valentines day.

Ben
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Old 02-14-2015, 01:06 PM
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As someone who was knocking back a heck of a lot more than you on a daily basis....
my default advice for you is quite while you're ahead.

I spent a good number of years only having "a few" everyday but alcohol is sneaky like that. It's not like one day you flip a switch and become a full blown alcoholic.

I just quit two weeks ago+ and although I'm done with physical withdrawals (which fortunately weren't that bad).... I'm presently (that is to say, in this exact moment) suffering from the mental anguish of desperately wanting a drink (although I won't).

Anyway, I would say, when in doubt, put the drink down.

Good luck.
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Old 02-14-2015, 01:11 PM
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Hey Ben,

Normal drinkers, don't drink a bottle and a half of wine a day, don't drink in the mornings, don't drink more hours in the day than not, and don't want to drink every hour of every day, and wouldn't do so if they could!!

It's great your getting things checked out, but don't be complacent, years of drinking can take it's toll on our health, and our minds can convince us otherwise with as many excuses as to why that is not the case as we will buy!!

Having a plan of support was key to me turning things around, in isolation my mind could convince me of anything, I needed something outside of myself to give me a second opinion on things.

I also needed an acceptance that alcohol was really doing me damage, that I needed to reevaluate my relationship with it moving forward, for me it meant parting ways with alcohol on a permanent basis, and I haven't looked back since!!

You can do this Ben!! Don't let alcohol have all the control, take it back for the sake of your health!!
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Old 02-14-2015, 01:49 PM
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can you live without drinking?
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