New...apprehensive about posting here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
New...apprehensive about posting here
I've recognized alcohol as being a problem in my life and have decided to stop drinking. I hate the repercussions that come with it - all the money I've wasted, relationships lost, etc. I'm three years in to a bachelor's degree and it honestly seems like kind of a miracle that I've made it this far. I think that I'm a smart person, but for the past three years school work has been pretty close to my last priority, and I somehow just keep passing. I feel somewhat guilty because I know many people who have failed out of the program despite being much more dedicated than myself. The degree that I'm pursuing will be my ticket into my dream career and I so badly want to do it, I just can't seem to motivate myself.
Im 22 and live alone in a major city (alone as in not with my family, I have roommates) and I think I drink sometimes because I feel isolated or lonely. I don't really know anyone here and it's so easy to feel anonymous in an urban environment, which definitely contributes to the problem. There are 2 men in my life who pay me for my "company", and although I very much appreciate their financial support (I literally could not afford to live here without them), I sometimes feel as if I may have some repressed emotions about that, that I'm not addressing. I would never be able to tell my family about any of this - it has been made very clear my whole life that physical appearance and academic/career success are expected. I know that sounds ridiculous. It's a lot of pressure. So I've decided that being sober is something I need to do for myself to try and find my own happiness. I don't really know what I expect out of all of this, but I guess I just thought I might need some support
Im 22 and live alone in a major city (alone as in not with my family, I have roommates) and I think I drink sometimes because I feel isolated or lonely. I don't really know anyone here and it's so easy to feel anonymous in an urban environment, which definitely contributes to the problem. There are 2 men in my life who pay me for my "company", and although I very much appreciate their financial support (I literally could not afford to live here without them), I sometimes feel as if I may have some repressed emotions about that, that I'm not addressing. I would never be able to tell my family about any of this - it has been made very clear my whole life that physical appearance and academic/career success are expected. I know that sounds ridiculous. It's a lot of pressure. So I've decided that being sober is something I need to do for myself to try and find my own happiness. I don't really know what I expect out of all of this, but I guess I just thought I might need some support
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR, calla!!
I didn't know what to expect when I came here, either. What I've found is a tremendous amount of support from people who get what we are going through.
I hope you read around, post where you're comfortable, and keep coming back. SR, and the great people here, have been a huge part of my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I didn't know what to expect when I came here, either. What I've found is a tremendous amount of support from people who get what we are going through.
I hope you read around, post where you're comfortable, and keep coming back. SR, and the great people here, have been a huge part of my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 49
I propose it's never a bad time to stop drinking. I say that as someone who also caused a lot of turmoil in my personal life and as someone who has wasted a lot of money and opportunities.
Regarding drinking due to feeling isolated or lonely, I would say that those emotions will still be waiting for you after you sober up, so drinking is only putting a bandage on the problem and not solving the root cause.
I understand that you are so close to graduating so you should definitely keep that goal in your sights, but you may want to take a look and see if you can reach that goal without doing anything that you may be ashamed of. (Disclaimer: Besides my wife, I certainly don't tell my family every single thing that I do).
Since you live in a large city, I'm sure there are support groups around that you can attend. While I only have limited experiences with in-person support groups, the one thing I liked about them is you can express yourself to whatever degree you feel comfortable. Sometimes, even if you don't say a word, it is therapeutic to sit in a room filled with people in somewhat similar situations as yours. It's good to know that at least on some levels, you certainly aren't alone.
Good luck.
Regarding drinking due to feeling isolated or lonely, I would say that those emotions will still be waiting for you after you sober up, so drinking is only putting a bandage on the problem and not solving the root cause.
I understand that you are so close to graduating so you should definitely keep that goal in your sights, but you may want to take a look and see if you can reach that goal without doing anything that you may be ashamed of. (Disclaimer: Besides my wife, I certainly don't tell my family every single thing that I do).
Since you live in a large city, I'm sure there are support groups around that you can attend. While I only have limited experiences with in-person support groups, the one thing I liked about them is you can express yourself to whatever degree you feel comfortable. Sometimes, even if you don't say a word, it is therapeutic to sit in a room filled with people in somewhat similar situations as yours. It's good to know that at least on some levels, you certainly aren't alone.
Good luck.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Welcome Calla! Read around here and post as much as you feel comfortable -- some of us like to post a lot LOL! There's tons of support to guide you through pretty much everything you could expect from stopping drinking, and a whole lot that you can't even imagine yet.
Nice to have you in the SR family!
Nice to have you in the SR family!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
"There are 2 men in my life who pay me for my "company", and although I very much appreciate their financial support (I literally could not afford to live here without them), I sometimes feel as if I may have some repressed emotions about that, that I'm not addressing." Might be another reason you are drinking? Sure the money helps, but it can't be helping you feel confident in yourself. I am not trying to be mean here, but there are other ways to make money than this. Find one and it will be one less thing making you feel all alone.
Many of us have come from some very hard places in life, and the answer is always to fix what made us want to drink in the first place. You seem intelligent and are almost finished with college. It doesn't get easier once you are done with college, so start studying on life now so you are prepared for the change. If you want the easy road in life, find an old guy with money who is going die soon, but be prepared to drink it all away
Best of luck Calla, we are all here for you no matter what you may need. We have all been in rough situations or we wouldn't be here in the first place
Many of us have come from some very hard places in life, and the answer is always to fix what made us want to drink in the first place. You seem intelligent and are almost finished with college. It doesn't get easier once you are done with college, so start studying on life now so you are prepared for the change. If you want the easy road in life, find an old guy with money who is going die soon, but be prepared to drink it all away
Best of luck Calla, we are all here for you no matter what you may need. We have all been in rough situations or we wouldn't be here in the first place
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
Well its pretty anonymous here, dont feel apprehensive.
As far as drinking is concerned, you are here you most likely have a problem and most likely you are an alcoholic. The question that comes to mind is what are you prepared to do about it? What lengths are you willing to go? Would you stand on your head in the corner of a room for hours on end to be able to not have any thoughts of drinking, or of booze. I rose up my hand for that one. Many different ways there are for a human to become sober and achieve sobriety. Church is quite common. AA. SMART Recovery. CA. NA. GA. SA. DA. OA. Countless rehabs. Countless detox facilities.
As far as drinking is concerned, you are here you most likely have a problem and most likely you are an alcoholic. The question that comes to mind is what are you prepared to do about it? What lengths are you willing to go? Would you stand on your head in the corner of a room for hours on end to be able to not have any thoughts of drinking, or of booze. I rose up my hand for that one. Many different ways there are for a human to become sober and achieve sobriety. Church is quite common. AA. SMART Recovery. CA. NA. GA. SA. DA. OA. Countless rehabs. Countless detox facilities.
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