how I drank
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
how I drank
If I drink a vodka...5 minute crack glow, desire for another, desire for another, facebooking into the night, blasting music, desire for another, if I'm lucky, pull the plug under 5 drinks
the decision to do so is very hard to make. It's like it isn't made until it is.
the next day (If I didn't have 10 drinks and am totally shaky hung over) I'll get one for the train, walk around buying nips at stores, have 4 nips during the work day, come home, buy a nip and 2 beers, go out for another two beers
maybe get 3 days sober.
Then, on day four:
Have a couple nips in the evening. Maybe pull the plug there.
If I have pulled the plug then the next day will be a heavy one, perhaps a 10 drinker, a resolution maker, or just a 7 or 8 drink binge, in which case the resolution wears off by noon and I may have a drink or two in the evening.
Spend at least a couple thousand on this a year.
Occasionally go out, try to meet women, prove just as shy with alcohol as without.
once or twice yearly make out with someone drunk (never sober. sober is almost perfect isolation)
once yearly make a scene, embarrass myself, stop just short of a disaster
more depressed than usual
just sort of humming along like this, not particularly worse off, no deep bottoms, just this
I'm not a dramatic person. I'm not a person of heights apparently. no heights of success, no deep bottom, no great loves
in the lives of many others; I haven't claimed much; I don't have much to offer apparently
alcohol for me is the mild, obscure wrangling of an obscure person. it's hard to comment on. what can I say that others popularly seem to listen to?
I drank little flasks, not gallons. I felt the spirit of a single nip die within me peeling back the chemical layers revealing despair.
There was something homeopathic about it.
You can feel that despair more refined after a nip than after a flask.
At 7 or 9 drinks I could pull back better than some.
Ordinarily, my biggest infraction was pissing on trees and harboring an ordinary lack of charisma
It was hard to speak to people in bars; is hard to speak to people in the rooms
my alcohol drinking wasn't the engaging kind
There is no high powered, driven, pig headed person behind it
I drank barrels of vodka and made barrels of money and was worshiped until I hit bottom, and I make barrels of money and am worshiped again.
The natural state of man is to be adored
Well, I never got that
Just nips. I drank nips.
38 days
the decision to do so is very hard to make. It's like it isn't made until it is.
the next day (If I didn't have 10 drinks and am totally shaky hung over) I'll get one for the train, walk around buying nips at stores, have 4 nips during the work day, come home, buy a nip and 2 beers, go out for another two beers
maybe get 3 days sober.
Then, on day four:
Have a couple nips in the evening. Maybe pull the plug there.
If I have pulled the plug then the next day will be a heavy one, perhaps a 10 drinker, a resolution maker, or just a 7 or 8 drink binge, in which case the resolution wears off by noon and I may have a drink or two in the evening.
Spend at least a couple thousand on this a year.
Occasionally go out, try to meet women, prove just as shy with alcohol as without.
once or twice yearly make out with someone drunk (never sober. sober is almost perfect isolation)
once yearly make a scene, embarrass myself, stop just short of a disaster
more depressed than usual
just sort of humming along like this, not particularly worse off, no deep bottoms, just this
I'm not a dramatic person. I'm not a person of heights apparently. no heights of success, no deep bottom, no great loves
in the lives of many others; I haven't claimed much; I don't have much to offer apparently
alcohol for me is the mild, obscure wrangling of an obscure person. it's hard to comment on. what can I say that others popularly seem to listen to?
I drank little flasks, not gallons. I felt the spirit of a single nip die within me peeling back the chemical layers revealing despair.
There was something homeopathic about it.
You can feel that despair more refined after a nip than after a flask.
At 7 or 9 drinks I could pull back better than some.
Ordinarily, my biggest infraction was pissing on trees and harboring an ordinary lack of charisma
It was hard to speak to people in bars; is hard to speak to people in the rooms
my alcohol drinking wasn't the engaging kind
There is no high powered, driven, pig headed person behind it
I drank barrels of vodka and made barrels of money and was worshiped until I hit bottom, and I make barrels of money and am worshiped again.
The natural state of man is to be adored
Well, I never got that
Just nips. I drank nips.
38 days
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hi Davai. I don't know you but I am going to disagree with you. "I don't have much to offer apparently"….umm, anyone who can write like that has a whole lot to offer.
We often have a hard time understanding how we appear to others. You appear to me someone who is exquisitely sensitive and self aware. It sounds like punishing yourself has become a hobby, one I hope you grow out of. In a world that sometimes feels overrun with people dying to get the last word in and navel gazing souls like you are needed.
Congratulations on your 38 days!
We often have a hard time understanding how we appear to others. You appear to me someone who is exquisitely sensitive and self aware. It sounds like punishing yourself has become a hobby, one I hope you grow out of. In a world that sometimes feels overrun with people dying to get the last word in and navel gazing souls like you are needed.
Congratulations on your 38 days!
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