Recover from Dry Drunk?
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Recover from Dry Drunk?
I stay on the F&F of A side of things but have a question.
RXAH is in big time dry drunk/relapse without drinking yet.
How long did it take to go from this stage to drinking?
If you recovered from it without drinking, what was the reason or thing that brought you to the understanding of where you were and how to get out of it?
He is in complete denial, doesn't see it and of course, everything is my fault.
RXAH is in big time dry drunk/relapse without drinking yet.
How long did it take to go from this stage to drinking?
If you recovered from it without drinking, what was the reason or thing that brought you to the understanding of where you were and how to get out of it?
He is in complete denial, doesn't see it and of course, everything is my fault.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
Hi,
I think it varies depending on the person. It involves acceptance, willingness, and living in the solution rather than the problem.
I'm in AA and it took about 3 months and starting stepwork to get some relief.
Just because he's being a dry drunk doesn't mean he will relapse if he is willing to work on his issues. My actual dry drunk feeling lasted about 2 days and I thought "this sucks I either need to get to work or get a bottle."
The other thing I would point out is alcoholics don't own the market as far as being a#$holes. Normies can be a#$holes as well. Maybe he's just an a#$hole
I think it varies depending on the person. It involves acceptance, willingness, and living in the solution rather than the problem.
I'm in AA and it took about 3 months and starting stepwork to get some relief.
Just because he's being a dry drunk doesn't mean he will relapse if he is willing to work on his issues. My actual dry drunk feeling lasted about 2 days and I thought "this sucks I either need to get to work or get a bottle."
The other thing I would point out is alcoholics don't own the market as far as being a#$holes. Normies can be a#$holes as well. Maybe he's just an a#$hole
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
He may not relapse. I suffered many of the symptoms associated with dry drunk in early recovery. I was on the mend from some pretty serious damage at it took time to heal. It can take years for people to get better. It may take you awhile to heal from living with someone like that too.
Like sg1970 said maybe it is just how he is.
Like sg1970 said maybe it is just how he is.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
What is a "dry drunk?" Imo, someone sober who is irritable and unhappy. Yet, everyone is that way from time to time. It's part of what makes us human. The question for me is how long will I stay in that mode? First thing I need is to recognize where I'm at emotionally. Once I've done this I can try to take action and perhaps change things.
I find the term "dry drunk" often tossed about in meeting in connection with working the 12 steps. However, most member with long term sobriety for example have done the steps but this hardly makes them immune to the "dry drunk" syndrome.
A realization that I needed to do the footwork. That I had to confront the things I could change (which was difficult given I am a non-confrontational type person) and the more I tried doing this the more experience I gained.
I find the term "dry drunk" often tossed about in meeting in connection with working the 12 steps. However, most member with long term sobriety for example have done the steps but this hardly makes them immune to the "dry drunk" syndrome.
Originally Posted by aboutdone 
...If you recovered from it without drinking, what was the reason or thing that brought you to the understanding of where you were and how to get out of it?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by aboutdone
I stay on the F&F of A side of things but have a question.
RXAH is in big time dry drunk/relapse without drinking yet.
How long did it take to go from this stage to drinking?
If you recovered from it without drinking, what was the reason or thing that brought you to the understanding of where you were and how to get out of it?
He is in complete denial, doesn't see it and of course, everything is my fault.
RXAH is in big time dry drunk/relapse without drinking yet.
How long did it take to go from this stage to drinking?
If you recovered from it without drinking, what was the reason or thing that brought you to the understanding of where you were and how to get out of it?
He is in complete denial, doesn't see it and of course, everything is my fault.
Mi was once told I was ona premeditated drunk.I'd already been in recovery a few years. Believe it or not I was in denial about it!!!!!
And about two or so months later I got the f it's. Was going to get a 12 pack. Only thing that stopped it was a shower before heading to the store. It hit me then- id been working on that thought for quite some time.
I worked with a man that used to be a hardcore drunk. Straight up mean. Was dry for many,many years and still just a miserable man.
I believe relapse ends with a drink,too.
Is hubby in any recovery program?
Have ya mentioned to him That his heads heading back up his arse?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
When I use the term "dry drunk" I refer to that horrible feeling of feeling drunk and/or hungover when you are actually sober. I suffered a lot with this. I don't want to drink but my body is still adjusting to sobriety and my head and body sometimes feels awful in the process.
If this is the same thing you are referring to, the thing that infinitely helps is a healthy, clean diet with minimum sugar. Sugar is treated the same as alcohol in concerns to the liver, so a recovering alcoholic who is bingeing on sugar, can likely get that "dry drunk" feeling.
On day 13 now, those feelings have passed a great deal for me. But only if I continue to eat a lot of fresh food and no sugar or caffeine.
Hope this helps!
If this is the same thing you are referring to, the thing that infinitely helps is a healthy, clean diet with minimum sugar. Sugar is treated the same as alcohol in concerns to the liver, so a recovering alcoholic who is bingeing on sugar, can likely get that "dry drunk" feeling.
On day 13 now, those feelings have passed a great deal for me. But only if I continue to eat a lot of fresh food and no sugar or caffeine.
Hope this helps!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Aboutdone,
My experience is with AA - I have found the disease doesn't care if one is drinking or not. It is still there and if untreated can be in many regards worse than when drinking.
All the ism and ick to deal with. I think some gain a little sober time and believe not drinking is enough. My problem was not alcohol. Alcohol was my solution.....I had to find other ways to live my life and different solutions to be be emotionally sober.
The only thing that works for me after trying a lot of different ways - is developing spiritually. I only mention this as you asked what did "you" do. I don't drown others in living waters, but that is my experience.
Hope you and your Husband find peace
My experience is with AA - I have found the disease doesn't care if one is drinking or not. It is still there and if untreated can be in many regards worse than when drinking.
All the ism and ick to deal with. I think some gain a little sober time and believe not drinking is enough. My problem was not alcohol. Alcohol was my solution.....I had to find other ways to live my life and different solutions to be be emotionally sober.
The only thing that works for me after trying a lot of different ways - is developing spiritually. I only mention this as you asked what did "you" do. I don't drown others in living waters, but that is my experience.
Hope you and your Husband find peace
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by hollybear
When I use the term "dry drunk" I refer to that horrible feeling of feeling drunk and/or hungover when you are actually sober. I suffered a lot with this. I don't want to drink but my body is still adjusting to sobriety and my head and body sometimes feels awful in the process.
If this is the same thing you are referring to, the thing that infinitely helps is a healthy, clean diet with minimum sugar. Sugar is treated the same as alcohol in concerns to the liver, so a recovering alcoholic who is bingeing on sugar, can likely get that "dry drunk" feeling.
On day 13 now, those feelings have passed a great deal for me. But only if I continue to eat a lot of fresh food and no sugar or caffeine.
Hope this helps!
If this is the same thing you are referring to, the thing that infinitely helps is a healthy, clean diet with minimum sugar. Sugar is treated the same as alcohol in concerns to the liver, so a recovering alcoholic who is bingeing on sugar, can likely get that "dry drunk" feeling.
On day 13 now, those feelings have passed a great deal for me. But only if I continue to eat a lot of fresh food and no sugar or caffeine.
Hope this helps!
When I hear someone say dry drunk I think of someone who is nearly narcissistic: black and white thinking, feelings of grandeur, never wrong and overly concerned with being right, delusional instead of realistic, magical thinking, things like that. Maybe the OP should clarify what he is doing. I suspect she was just venting tho.
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Originally Posted by tomsteve
Dry drunk,pre meditated drunk... IMO are the same.
Mi was once told I was ona premeditated drunk.I'd already been in recovery a few years. Believe it or not I was in denial about it!!!!!
And about two or so months later I got the f it's. Was going to get a 12 pack. Only thing that stopped it was a shower before heading to the store. It hit me then- id been working on that thought for quite some time.
I worked with a man that used to be a hardcore drunk. Straight up mean. Was dry for many,many years and still just a miserable man.
I believe relapse ends with a drink,too.
Is hubby in any recovery program?
Have ya mentioned to him That his heads heading back up his arse?
Mi was once told I was ona premeditated drunk.I'd already been in recovery a few years. Believe it or not I was in denial about it!!!!!
And about two or so months later I got the f it's. Was going to get a 12 pack. Only thing that stopped it was a shower before heading to the store. It hit me then- id been working on that thought for quite some time.
I worked with a man that used to be a hardcore drunk. Straight up mean. Was dry for many,many years and still just a miserable man.
I believe relapse ends with a drink,too.
Is hubby in any recovery program?
Have ya mentioned to him That his heads heading back up his arse?
He also has added in a porn addiction.
We are at stage of him, moved out, attending AA, denies a prob, on numerous dating sites, and I can not be trusted and its all my fault, oh, and I need to quit taking his inventory or setting consequences for bad behaviors.
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Im not venting. Im truly curious. His whole attitude did a 180 & of course Im not innocent. I went right down the codie venue. Trying to pull myself out of it and give him the best fighting chancd possible.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by aboutdone
Yes I have told him.
He also has added in a porn addiction.
We are at stage of him, moved out, attending AA, denies a prob, on numerous dating sites, and I can not be trusted and its all my fault, oh, and I need to quit taking his inventory or setting consequences for bad behaviors.
He also has added in a porn addiction.
We are at stage of him, moved out, attending AA, denies a prob, on numerous dating sites, and I can not be trusted and its all my fault, oh, and I need to quit taking his inventory or setting consequences for bad behaviors.
People get sober, work the program and over time become the people they are. And who are they? My guess is pretty much the same person they were before getting sober. I don't believe people change much. However, we can learn how to deal with adversity or relationships in a healthier way.
I'm a big fan of AA but we're simply people trying to help others by sharing our experience. A professional therapist or other outside help is sometimes required.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 224
I think dry drunk is a term made up by AA for people who don't ascribe to their 12 step program. Many alcoholics have deep rooted problems, and drinking is just a symptom of the pain they have. No amount of 12 steps is going to help that...at least in my opinion. The only thing to help that is counseling. One of my employees' husband falls in this category. He was abused pretty bad as a kid. He hasn't touched the sauce in years, but he's completely miserable. He did the 12 steps but still hasn't dealt with the deeper problems.
Summary: alcoholism is usually just a symptom.
Summary: alcoholism is usually just a symptom.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
I know "sober" people who have gone to the Psych ward at 15 yrs sober.
I know "sober" people who have 25yrs sober, and sleep in their vehicle and/or AA rooms.
I know people who claim to have X amount of time being "sober" but they are on the marijuana maintenance program. Or they claim different "sobriety" for different drugs.
A dry drunk is no different then a wet drunk, a dry drunk can actually be worse then being a wet drunk. I have counselled clients in rehabs that have had 10 to 30 yrs "sober" but went into a rehab center, and were long term clients, meaning they stayed in the recovery house for a year or more. They were pretty sick, sicker then most drunks I have seen, and they havent had a drop of alcohol in years.
I know "sober" people who have 25yrs sober, and sleep in their vehicle and/or AA rooms.
I know people who claim to have X amount of time being "sober" but they are on the marijuana maintenance program. Or they claim different "sobriety" for different drugs.
A dry drunk is no different then a wet drunk, a dry drunk can actually be worse then being a wet drunk. I have counselled clients in rehabs that have had 10 to 30 yrs "sober" but went into a rehab center, and were long term clients, meaning they stayed in the recovery house for a year or more. They were pretty sick, sicker then most drunks I have seen, and they havent had a drop of alcohol in years.
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Originally Posted by markz
I know "sober" people who have gone to the Psych ward at 15 yrs sober.
I know "sober" people who have 25yrs sober, and sleep in their vehicle and/or AA rooms.
I know people who claim to have X amount of time being "sober" but they are on the marijuana maintenance program. Or they claim different "sobriety" for different drugs.
A dry drunk is no different then a wet drunk, a dry drunk can actually be worse then being a wet drunk. I have counselled clients in rehabs that have had 10 to 30 yrs "sober" but went into a rehab center, and were long term clients, meaning they stayed in the recovery house for a year or more. They were pretty sick, sicker then most drunks I have seen, and they havent had a drop of alcohol in years.
I know "sober" people who have 25yrs sober, and sleep in their vehicle and/or AA rooms.
I know people who claim to have X amount of time being "sober" but they are on the marijuana maintenance program. Or they claim different "sobriety" for different drugs.
A dry drunk is no different then a wet drunk, a dry drunk can actually be worse then being a wet drunk. I have counselled clients in rehabs that have had 10 to 30 yrs "sober" but went into a rehab center, and were long term clients, meaning they stayed in the recovery house for a year or more. They were pretty sick, sicker then most drunks I have seen, and they havent had a drop of alcohol in years.
I think I am going to walk away and not ever look back. I hate to, but my children do not deserve the hell he insists upon placing upon them and me while claiming sobriety, yet running around, not being responsible or anything else. I quite literally have had enough.
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