sleepie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XFB...ature=youtu.be

That's first off cause a bump in my road caused me some major stress yesterday BUT as TS says "Haters gonna hate"... nope wasn't counting on a generic pop song underscoring my day today but when a girl's right, she's right.

Yesterday I was really hurt and wanted to drink very badly.

I went to a gathering at a friend's to do some work where EVERYONE was drinking, but not me. Didn't touch a drop. So there ya go curveball in life, nice try. Eff off.

I got a job! I have been unemployed/underemployed for soooo long.

Living in poverty. Because I refuse government help. Won't do it. Got by with a few odd jobs here and there on occasion, even once... puppeteering if you can believe that.

Now I'll just be shuffling papers for a small wage, but it will be steady. I am nervous of course because I get anxious beyond belief and overwhelmed and I am so, so easily distracted. I hope I can pull this off, my life has been so many hopes and then the crushing blow of the reality of my faulty grey matter tripping me up again.

I wanted a drink! I want one now. Of course the celebratory/ease my nerves thing. My fave dive bar is just up the road I have just a few scraps from babysitting.

My head is just haywire right now.

SoberLeigh

Great job not drinking, sleepie; majorly good stuff.

Congratulations on your new job, too.

(My device won't allow me to play the video.)

SoberCAH

Glad you are here, sleepie.

I admire your work ethic.

Working is an important part of my sobriety.

Soberwolf

Try this Sleepie http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Dee74

Congrats on your job sleepie

Stand firm - thoughts are thoughts - we don't have to react to them

You can do this

D

Impurrfect

Congratulations Sleepie!!

I'm glad you came here and posted. Sometimes, just getting it out there helps.

I agree with Dee - They're just thoughts, you don't have to act on them.

I've been dealing with a new job for about 3 months. Some days are great, some far from it. All I know is that I can whine and get insight from people here, and drinking or using will only make the situation 100% bad and worse.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hevyn

I'm just seeing this now sleepie. I'm happy for your job - how great. It's really good you wanted to talk about the temptation. Every time I had emotions of any kind, I wanted to numb them. I have no idea why - nothing was gained, and I just created more anxiety for myself. You will make it over this hurdle.

sleepie

Thanks all! Last job I had over the summer I crashed and burned... it was a small business and we worked without breaks or lunch. I know it's illegal but we all put up with it cause we needed the work... I ended up drinking, then drinking, crashing and burning. My tolerance for stress is very low... a bit worried. I drank my way through many years of low paying thankless jobs. Now I don't drink... I hope the nasty hair pulling disorder doesn't rear it's head, that's what happened before I drank. Yes I am a neurotic mess. Didn't choose my grey matter.

Dee74

Have you got any healthy ways to relieve stress and relax Sleepie?

D

sleepie

No Dee... winding down has always been something that escapes me. Usually what happens is I just crash and sleep, then my sleep cycle is all over the place. Although some small success with audiobooks. Also when I get a paycheck I want to buy another ministepper, they are small and compact and 45 minutes of cardio or so helps a bit.