MinWild1985

Hello everyone. It has been a little while since I posted. I am close to 3 months sober and would like to share one of my personal favorite things about not drinking. That is reactions from other people when you say you don't drink. They seriously look at you like you something is wrong. "You're not drinking! Why?" Is the main one.

Has anyone else notice that we don't do this with literally anything else? Alcohol seems to be printed in society that you have to drink it or something is clearly wrong.

Just my 2 cents for now everyone. Hope all is well. This sober thing is getting better and better as times goes on. Cravings are still kind of annoying though.

Ptcapote

Hi Min, and congrats on three months, that is awesome!

I was so, so hyper-aware (and nervous about) people's reactions to me not drinking. Not just my drinking friends, but everyone else as well. Yes, drinking is deeply imprinted on a lot of society and is associated with all sorts of things we find pleasurable or relaxing.

But.

What I also noticed is that the people who are not alcoholics or worried about their own drinking may remark that you don't drink but almost never will push it beyond that point. If they even remark at all. I don't associate anymore with many alcoholic or heavy drinkers (for obvious reasons ) but most "normies" don't really notice and, if they do, don't necessarily care. I used to carry around a litany of excuses thinking I would be grilled but, these days, I find that "I don't drink," or "Not really much of a drinker" usually stops most inquiries. Because, really, a lot of people don't drink. We just didn't know many of them when we were drinking

As to the cravings, hang in there. Three months was a huge turning point for me and the physical cravings really began to disappear. The mental ones and the associations still hung on for awhile but the physical desire for alcohol gets less and less and, for me, was completely gone at about four months. Just check to see if it is really physical or mostly mental. I think you'll find a lot that it's your brain (that imprinting thing you mentioned), not your body speaking to you.

Thanks again for the post and keep on going! It gets better and better, I promise

Dee74

Hi MinWild

My experience has been totally different to yours...but I stopped hanging around the people I would drink with.

Normal folks, folks without an abnormal relationship to alcohol, simmply don't care what I am, or not, drinking

D

LeeJane

Big congrats on three months.

I found as my sober time grew, I changed my social groups. I didn't want to spend time with people getting drunk. That was the only thing in common I had with them.

I met new healthy friends who alcohol is a complete non-issue.

thisisme

I have also found that only alcoholics care. They see you have escaped.
No one else cares.

Aellyce

My experience has also been that people around me don't care. But in the last several years (4-5) I really did not hang out or were around heavy drinkers. Maybe some of the young people at work (students etc) but they are not the people I tend to do anything with except working and talking. I drank alone at home. I told many people directly that I don't drink and keep saying it whenever it comes up because I just don't want to deal with being pushed into those environments, not primarily out of fear now, just not interested. Some people did look at me weird, but then nothing. I don't get invited to some parties, but I'm more than grateful for that. The heavy drinkers are all relatively far past for me, I separated from them before my own drinking got really bad and that was years before I finally quit.

I think it all depends on what sort of social environments we were in. I would say alcoholics and other addicts actively around us care. And maybe people with other issues who would rather gravitate towards whatever misery.

Good job on 3 months

Dharmabum2012

Yeah it is very interesting to see what people reactions will be. For me personally I've known for awhile my drinking has been an issue, and so did many of my friends. My two main friends who I would get absolutely plastered with haven't really said anything.

I'm going to a movie with them tomorrow and am going to tell them I'm going into an outpatient treatment program etc will be interesting to see what they say because they both have issues with alcohol.

I have just come to the conclusion that if my "friends" can't support my abstinence from alcohol then **** them.

DoloresHaze

With thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, this is totally on my mind. At hollidays, both sides of my family love to let the wine flow liberally. This year i will not be partaking. The first thing they ask when you walk in the door is, "Hey do you want a glass of wine?!?!"

I just know that people will be thinking one of two things. 1)Im pregnant, or 2) I have a drinking problem.

Soberwolf

Good job on your near 3 months sober

Wastinglife

Family and friends don't need to ask me why I am not drinking. They know if I am drinking, I am liable to wake up the next morning in jail or the ER.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 3 months, glad to hear things are going well. For me at least, the more sober time I got the more I realized too that most people really don't care one way or another about my drinking ( or lack of ). Sure, my drinking buddies did - but i don't really associate with many of them anymore. In most social situations I find that there is no need to tell people I don't drink, I simply say no thanks when they ask.