change in how family views you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
change in how family views you
Hi all i am quickly approaching 1 year sober on Dec 22 and just wanted to share my experience in the noticeable change in how my family perceives me.
First off i am 33 and after college i began working in the restaurant industry as a line cook, because thats really what i wanted to do. The only problem was, the lifestyle fit all too well with my addictive personality. Everything you hear about the back of the house in a restaurant is true. I worked drunk and coked up a good portion of the time. If it wasnt during service it was most certainly when i got home. Would stay up till sunup go to bed, or really just lay there with my eyes closed, never actually getting any real sleep and go back to work at 12. This cycle repeated on a daily basis for a very long time. I lost jobs, quit jobs due to my addictions. I always had to make some crazy excuse to my family as to why i left and never did i say it was my own fault. In the span of 8 years probably worked at 10 different restaurants all with the same result.
I have a loving and wonderful family but i could see on a daily basis the disappointment in their eyes as to my current position in life. I was living home and still do. I know they worried about how i would support myself and how i would get on in life when they werent around. I would think of the same thing. Lay in bed, probably drunk and think about the future. It always involved some morbid situation where everyone i loved has died including my dog. Leaving me, a drunk, who cant hold a job to fend for himself. The future was scary and uncertain - it wasn't something i was looking forward to at all. In all honesty it terrified me. Being alone with no support.
I got sober and things all became so positive in every respect. My finances improved, paid of credit card debt, saved money, got a new job and started a little online business. I now have money to buy things for myself, my family and give monthly to support the household and extra when i have a good ebay week. For the first time in ages I will have money to buy presents for my family for Christmas and not have a killer hangover ruin it.
My parents have always loved me but they are now also very proud of the person that was being crippled by alcohol, has become. They no longer fear for my future, and do not have to worry about the house when they are gone as i have enough income to take over the mortgage. I too am proud me! I think of the future and welcome it and the challenges it will bring. I look forward to each working day, bettering myself and my current position as much as i can. Days are full from sunup to sundown. Constantly working on my business and it is so rewarding to make your own way in life not having to rely on the help of others. All success can be directly attributed to the hard work and long hours i've put in. Never in a million years if asked 1 year ago would i say i would be where i am today. The self esteem boost is immeasurable.
To all those currently battling alcoholism please know that if i could crawl out of my own personal hell to become a truly productive, alcohol free individual anyone can do it. At no point was it easy but i can say that with time it becomes easier. To be honest, in the beginning all I wanted was to simply stop drinking. All the other successes and ventures were a product of a sober mind looking to continue improving. This continues and can only speculate as to where ill be with another year sober. I am excited about it!
Everything everyone on SR says about the benefits of being sober are 100% true. I like to go back and read my first few posts and see how far i have come. Thank you all for your support - i am certain i would not be writing this today if i hadnt posted that first cry for help on SR.
sorry for the long post but it was something i wanted to share.
First off i am 33 and after college i began working in the restaurant industry as a line cook, because thats really what i wanted to do. The only problem was, the lifestyle fit all too well with my addictive personality. Everything you hear about the back of the house in a restaurant is true. I worked drunk and coked up a good portion of the time. If it wasnt during service it was most certainly when i got home. Would stay up till sunup go to bed, or really just lay there with my eyes closed, never actually getting any real sleep and go back to work at 12. This cycle repeated on a daily basis for a very long time. I lost jobs, quit jobs due to my addictions. I always had to make some crazy excuse to my family as to why i left and never did i say it was my own fault. In the span of 8 years probably worked at 10 different restaurants all with the same result.
I have a loving and wonderful family but i could see on a daily basis the disappointment in their eyes as to my current position in life. I was living home and still do. I know they worried about how i would support myself and how i would get on in life when they werent around. I would think of the same thing. Lay in bed, probably drunk and think about the future. It always involved some morbid situation where everyone i loved has died including my dog. Leaving me, a drunk, who cant hold a job to fend for himself. The future was scary and uncertain - it wasn't something i was looking forward to at all. In all honesty it terrified me. Being alone with no support.
I got sober and things all became so positive in every respect. My finances improved, paid of credit card debt, saved money, got a new job and started a little online business. I now have money to buy things for myself, my family and give monthly to support the household and extra when i have a good ebay week. For the first time in ages I will have money to buy presents for my family for Christmas and not have a killer hangover ruin it.
My parents have always loved me but they are now also very proud of the person that was being crippled by alcohol, has become. They no longer fear for my future, and do not have to worry about the house when they are gone as i have enough income to take over the mortgage. I too am proud me! I think of the future and welcome it and the challenges it will bring. I look forward to each working day, bettering myself and my current position as much as i can. Days are full from sunup to sundown. Constantly working on my business and it is so rewarding to make your own way in life not having to rely on the help of others. All success can be directly attributed to the hard work and long hours i've put in. Never in a million years if asked 1 year ago would i say i would be where i am today. The self esteem boost is immeasurable.
To all those currently battling alcoholism please know that if i could crawl out of my own personal hell to become a truly productive, alcohol free individual anyone can do it. At no point was it easy but i can say that with time it becomes easier. To be honest, in the beginning all I wanted was to simply stop drinking. All the other successes and ventures were a product of a sober mind looking to continue improving. This continues and can only speculate as to where ill be with another year sober. I am excited about it!
Everything everyone on SR says about the benefits of being sober are 100% true. I like to go back and read my first few posts and see how far i have come. Thank you all for your support - i am certain i would not be writing this today if i hadnt posted that first cry for help on SR.
sorry for the long post but it was something i wanted to share.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 55
Some of the families don't make it together. If you visit the family of alcoholic area you will find a growing theme of women who chant for the wives to leave their husbands because they will never change. I don't think it should be up to a stranger on the internet to promote divorce at an alarming rate as they do.
But hey lots of women do not stick around so consider yourself lucky.
But hey lots of women do not stick around so consider yourself lucky.
Thank you for posting it. You sound happy. That's so, so amazing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 28
My mom always worried about me when I was drinking. I am going through a health issue which is probably related to my drinking, but she is happy that I have quit. It is scary how quick your health can deteriorate from drinking. I am learning and doing better everyday, though. Quitting has encouraged me to look at my diet differently. I drink water like crazy now, too!
It is hard to look into our loved one's faces and see disappointment. It's bad enough that we loathe ourselves for drinking, but to see that look of disgust or sadness on someone else's face is horrible.
You should feel very proud of what you have accomplished. You have turned your life completely around. Your family loves you and wants you to succeed, which is an amazing thing.
It is hard to look into our loved one's faces and see disappointment. It's bad enough that we loathe ourselves for drinking, but to see that look of disgust or sadness on someone else's face is horrible.
You should feel very proud of what you have accomplished. You have turned your life completely around. Your family loves you and wants you to succeed, which is an amazing thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
Thanks everyone - i relied on these types of stories early on in my battle, for inspiration and support and i hope it helps someone find hope and strength in their current struggle. Nothing is impossible if you really want it - i thought that was just cliche' but believe now it is 100% true
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