Life Happenings: Late For Work, So Much Better Sober
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
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Life Happenings: Late For Work, So Much Better Sober
I have been sober for four months and was thinking today about how we still goof up in life but it's not as bad now.
Today I left for work and gave myself 30 minutes for a 26 minute drive (according to Google maps). Well, as I pulled onto the freeway it was stopped. Not like crawling stopped, I mean the type of stopped where you could get out of your car, drink coffee and chat with people as you lean on the driver's side door. My heart sank because I am in a job where you really can't be late. It's not an office where you can stroll in with a laugh about the traffic. My clients show up at a certain time and I have to be there to unlock the door.
As I sat in the traffic I prayed (and I don't even pray!) that I would get there on time. I had time (obviously!) to think back to one year ago when I was in a similar situation. It was a can't be late meeting that time. One year ago I was driving and sweating (yes, in November), chugging water, and crying as I sat in the traffic. I was slamming my hands on the steering wheel and cursing. I was sure I would be fired. Sure of it. I also looked like I mess. I was fighting a wicked hangover and had thrown on the same outfit I had worn the day before. A year ago I thought about turning the car around just giving up. I thought maybe being late was the final straw. One too many hangovers. Being late one too many times. Why face the boss, obviously hungover with a tear stained face when I could go home and crawl in bed and sleep off the hangover? I did go to work that day, late, and was not fired. However, I was haunted and agitated the rest of the day until I got home to my vodka. I was ashamed to be late and knew that it was because I was hungover.
Back to this morning: Sober, driving, stuck in traffic, late. Well, when it finally became clear that I would be late I called and told them, no biggie. I won't lie and say I was peaceful or calm during the drive, but I went with the flow and arrived nine minutes late. It was fine. I even walked in with a smile knowing that late happens. It felt so good to look into the eyes of the secretary and exclaim "How about the traffic!" I used to always avoid making eye contact because my eyes showed that I was hungover. Whatever. I'm human. When I arrived I looked fresh. I wasn't sweating or crying. It happens to everybody.
The day went well and I was very aware that I was not hungover. What a gift. Who would've thought that work was a lot easier when you're not hungover? It feels kinda like I have magic powers when I don't have a splitting headache.
Now when we are late for work or forget to pay a bill we don't have to worry that it's because of drinking or hangovers. Most of the negativity in my life actually came to be because of hangovers rather than being drunk. Being drunk at home every night was the easy part. The true hell was the next day, every day. I was forgetful, short-tempered, agitated, distracted, in physical pain, emotional, irrational, erratic, impatient, unforgiving, sarcastic, resentful, and many others.
I was not hungover today and I won't be tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of no hangovers.
Today I left for work and gave myself 30 minutes for a 26 minute drive (according to Google maps). Well, as I pulled onto the freeway it was stopped. Not like crawling stopped, I mean the type of stopped where you could get out of your car, drink coffee and chat with people as you lean on the driver's side door. My heart sank because I am in a job where you really can't be late. It's not an office where you can stroll in with a laugh about the traffic. My clients show up at a certain time and I have to be there to unlock the door.
As I sat in the traffic I prayed (and I don't even pray!) that I would get there on time. I had time (obviously!) to think back to one year ago when I was in a similar situation. It was a can't be late meeting that time. One year ago I was driving and sweating (yes, in November), chugging water, and crying as I sat in the traffic. I was slamming my hands on the steering wheel and cursing. I was sure I would be fired. Sure of it. I also looked like I mess. I was fighting a wicked hangover and had thrown on the same outfit I had worn the day before. A year ago I thought about turning the car around just giving up. I thought maybe being late was the final straw. One too many hangovers. Being late one too many times. Why face the boss, obviously hungover with a tear stained face when I could go home and crawl in bed and sleep off the hangover? I did go to work that day, late, and was not fired. However, I was haunted and agitated the rest of the day until I got home to my vodka. I was ashamed to be late and knew that it was because I was hungover.
Back to this morning: Sober, driving, stuck in traffic, late. Well, when it finally became clear that I would be late I called and told them, no biggie. I won't lie and say I was peaceful or calm during the drive, but I went with the flow and arrived nine minutes late. It was fine. I even walked in with a smile knowing that late happens. It felt so good to look into the eyes of the secretary and exclaim "How about the traffic!" I used to always avoid making eye contact because my eyes showed that I was hungover. Whatever. I'm human. When I arrived I looked fresh. I wasn't sweating or crying. It happens to everybody.
The day went well and I was very aware that I was not hungover. What a gift. Who would've thought that work was a lot easier when you're not hungover? It feels kinda like I have magic powers when I don't have a splitting headache.
Now when we are late for work or forget to pay a bill we don't have to worry that it's because of drinking or hangovers. Most of the negativity in my life actually came to be because of hangovers rather than being drunk. Being drunk at home every night was the easy part. The true hell was the next day, every day. I was forgetful, short-tempered, agitated, distracted, in physical pain, emotional, irrational, erratic, impatient, unforgiving, sarcastic, resentful, and many others.
I was not hungover today and I won't be tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of no hangovers.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
That was a perfect example of dealing with life on life’s terms!
Some are bigger and some are smaller but no matter, you can get through them all and you don’t have to drink over it!
Life is SO much easier once we lay down that bottle for awhile and start recovering. Sometimes I wonder what I was so upset about to begin with!
Some are bigger and some are smaller but no matter, you can get through them all and you don’t have to drink over it!
Life is SO much easier once we lay down that bottle for awhile and start recovering. Sometimes I wonder what I was so upset about to begin with!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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good post and I think you got the right attitude. I get it right like that a lot of times but I also find myself back in that panic sweating bullets mode too often too but not like I used too thankfully. Practice makes perfect!
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
I still lose my mind over traffic...but at least I don't drink over it anymore.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 30
Thank-you so much for your post Melinda!
I had posted a few days ago about how I got fired from work due to a drink related incident and your post really encourages me to make sure I stay sober as I never want to screw up a job (or anything else for that matter) again due to my drinking!
I had posted a few days ago about how I got fired from work due to a drink related incident and your post really encourages me to make sure I stay sober as I never want to screw up a job (or anything else for that matter) again due to my drinking!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
I still lose my mind over traffic...but at least I don't drink over it anymore.
There are times I have literally said out loud to myself "Do I need to get into your car and drive it for you?".
Makes me laugh AND reminds me I am not in control..LOL
I think driving is the most apparent arena that I have no serenity in. I get upset nearly every time I drive. Lately I have been listening to AA speakers on Youtube and it helps a great deal.
I am so engrossed in what they have to say I sort of forget about the rest of the people on the road. I don't mind going slow because I don't want to get home faster. I don't want to have to pause the speaker..LOL
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 63
Thank you
Thanks for this Melinda. This has been my life. Praying I complete Day 2.
I will read this over and over today.
Now when we are late for work or forget to pay a bill we don't have to worry that it's because of drinking or hangovers. Most of the negativity in my life actually came to be because of hangovers rather than being drunk. Being drunk at home every night was the easy part. The true hell was the next day, every day. I was forgetful, short-tempered, agitated, distracted, in physical pain, emotional, irrational, erratic, impatient, unforgiving, sarcastic, resentful, and many others.
I was not hungover today and I won't be tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of no hangovers.[/QUOTE]
I will read this over and over today.
Now when we are late for work or forget to pay a bill we don't have to worry that it's because of drinking or hangovers. Most of the negativity in my life actually came to be because of hangovers rather than being drunk. Being drunk at home every night was the easy part. The true hell was the next day, every day. I was forgetful, short-tempered, agitated, distracted, in physical pain, emotional, irrational, erratic, impatient, unforgiving, sarcastic, resentful, and many others.
I was not hungover today and I won't be tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of no hangovers.[/QUOTE]
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Melanda what a huge hug you have coming from so many.. love the early drive in I leave 45 minutes to an hour ahead of time .. that why I have time to stop for a muffin.. and then 2 miles to work more.. watched the sun come up this morning.. its beautiful hugs ardy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
This thread makes me think back to my drinking days, there was always a subliminal sense of guilt going on. Maybe it was a combo package of guilt, fear and anxiety and always at its worst when the alcohol wore off. All the stories I had to concoct to try to cover the tracks of my drinking or hangovers. Even if I thought I got away with it my own mind never let me off the hook that easy. So glad I no longer have to live like that!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
rain 41 degrees here hahahah my partner Jeff is to be Father of the Bride in 3 day.. the mans hair is falling out and getting white.. he is drinking way to much.. his diabeties is telling on him... he needs a time out.. feel for him a bit.. in 2011 he had a house that him and family had paid on for 20 years.. a great job at a printing company had been there 25 years.. his daughter worked there in summers for college money.. everything gone in May of 2011 job house in 6 months and then he got sick.. I can live on what I make with my hubby have since 1992... but they had 105,000 per year now trying to balance at 3500.00 per month. in a tiny apartment just him and the wife... ah poo.. know its driving him over the wall.. no money first daughter of twins to marry and father of the bride broke.. his new to be son in law and his dad are drinkers and took him out for the last 3 nights. ekekkeke I am so glad to be at this end of the building.. want to toss some rice or buy him lunch.. my Pop would have known what to do ... so .. ekekekekek the Marine says get out of the way of the Bear and have coffee chat here kids it is so much safer.. yep..
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,328
What a wonderful post, Melinda, and a wonderful reminder that while things still happen, we can, sober, deal with our reactions to them so much better. I'm still early in my recovery (32 days!!) but already can see that my nerves aren't as frayed.
Brava, on four months. You inspire me!
Brava, on four months. You inspire me!
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