Graceyloo

For the past several months I have been thinking about my wine drinking habit, doing lots of reading and listening to podcasts. Some things I completely relate to, others not so much. I know I drink more than what is considered healthy. I know I drink out of boredom. I know I drink when stressed. and I know my daily habit is hard to break.

What I can't relate to is the pain and suffering many experience. I don't drink enough to be hungover. I drink between 1 and 3 glasses of wine (usually 3) but always stop after dinner is over. More than 4 glasses will result in a hangover so I don't drink that much often.

However, I struggle with quitting this daily habit and I worry about my health. I don't recall when it started. I think it's been since 2005. My intake hasn't changed nor has my tolerance. But I know that alcohol has always been a part of my life. many of my friends drink. Part of me wonders if I am an alcoholic going through a slow progression. Part of me wonders if I am over reacting and getting myself worked up. That's why I am not sure if long-term sobriety is needed.

How do I figure this out? I know I have to stop this daily habit and could really use some support!

zjw

In between all your concerns theres some drops of truth? There are people who have a couple martinis with dinner who end up with anxiety panic attacks and i've even heard DT's and they are baffled as they had no idea they had an issue.

It all seems normal and fine till its not I guess. If you have trouble quiting that might be your answer. I had trouble quiting. I quit once for 30 days to prove that I didnt then another decade plus of heavy drinking went on. I did not realize I had a problem and when i put it down for 30 days i thought PFFF no big deal I got this.

Think of some good reasons to drink be honest with yourself are there any? That only leaves the other reasons to relax for recreation etc... do you really need it for those things can you perhaps find some healthier choices? Everything we think alcohol is fixing or helping with there is a better choice out there. There is also the well I like a drink i like the taste. Yes I like chocolate cake too but it makes me fat. I like smoking pot and cigarettes but they make me cough. I like playing with fire even too but sometimes i get burned. I like eggs but they give me high cholesterol etc... I like a lot of things I cant do because they just dont agree with me very well.

You could have progression going on as well. I drank only on weekends for a while. then i started adding in more days then I only drank after 5pm then i started drinking in the middle of the day etc.. It seems to progress and kinda sneak up on you next thing you know in my case I had spend well over a decade drunk all the time and I dont really know how i got to that point.

IOAA2

AA thoughts about alcoholism:

Alcoholism is a primary, chronic disease with genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. The disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by continuous or periodic: impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, most notably denial.

The big thing about it is that it’s progressive and is treatable by not consuming it. Unfortunately it’s not curable as many would like it to be.

Believe me stopping during the early stage is a great thing to do for ourselves as it creates so much pain and losses.

BE WELL

ru12

Well, if drinking is concerning you, perhaps it is best to stop for a while and see how you feel. 30 days might be a good goal.

Dee74

Hi graceyloo

a problem is a problem. If you think you have a problem then it's as real and as valid as anyone else's here.

A lit match and a bushfire are just two ends of the same spectrum after all....

If you try to stop and you can't...you belong here

D

doggonecarl

Needed? You have yet to achive it, which might tell you something. You call it a habit, but can't quit. That's a problem. So quit for a year and see how you feel. And if you can't quit, that's an answer too.

Graceyloo

Thanks for the replies!!!

I am one of those types who struggle dieting (fortunately I am thin) because once told I can't have something I want it more. I've tried eliminating dairy and struggle with that too because I love cheese! I eat it almost every single day. I love the taste of wine, and again denying myself something I love is very difficult.

I will start with 30 days and see how this goes. Tomorrow will be the day (don't want to waste the 1/2 bottle of good Chardonnay).

Thank you!!

Coldfusion

The addiction is already winning if you drink the rest of that wine. Most of us here consider it a waste of one's soul to drink, and it is extremely empowering to throw away your bad habit by pouring wine down the drain.

CAPTAINZING2000

Try having only two drinks and no more for a year.
You might not be an alcoholic maybe a problem drinker.
There is nothing more maddening to an alcoholic then, controlled drinking.

We wrestle with our thoughts on alcohol. Most of us are in denial. We hate to admit we are alcoholic and aren't able to drink like other people.

Page 21 and 22 help define it better
From the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

BIG BOOK-CHAPTER TWO P20.ASP

Aellyce

It sounds like you have already figured out what you need to do. So perhaps instead of asking whether you "belong here" or not, start to implement the changes. Figure out a method and solution for you. There are plenty of great suggestions how to go about this here on SR, or/and you could get face-to-face support, read relevant books... whatever your preference. There is no magic trick really, the thing to do is changing the habit actively, which requires changing our daily routines and the way we handle things. I think it does not matter how "big" or "small" our problem is - if we perceive it as an issue, discomfort, or worry, it's time to tackle it. I think probably everyone on this board would suggest better to tackle it earlier rather than late, and that it's great to recognize these things early.

Overit23

I know I stay away from alcohol: because of family history, show support my AH, empty calories, and I hate the taste, (rather have a candy bar)...

Carbonized

If you are struggling to quit, you belong here without a shadow of a doubt.

desypete

there are plenty of people in aa who i do not identify with when it comes to drinking, as for me my drinking would be when i took a drink i couldn't stop and would end up being smashed out of my brains and very often as a result of being out of my brians i would do things i would hate myself for when i woke up the next day

i would stop drinking for a while when i had been in trouble and even swear i will never drink again, i mean if you wake up in a police cell and you have the shame and embarrassment of it all who in there right mind would still carry on drinking knowing the effect it would have ???

this is were this catch 22 sitution or the mental illnes side of things come into it as for me i loved the freedom drink gave me all i wanted to do was to just drink normaly
so if i could of had 3 or 4 drinks a night and not end up drunk as a skunk i would be ok and i certainly wouldnt think i was an alcoholic

but then things start to get really complicated as many people do enjoy just drinking and not getting drunk and there classed as alcoholics as to them they can not go a day without having a drink but they dont get drunk

then there are top up drinkers who can drink all day but just keep themselves topped up again i wouldn't get identification from this type of drinker as our paths are miles apart

all aa says is if drink is costing you more than money then there surely must be a problem ?
the hope in aa is that people can catch this illness early enough so that people dont end up losing kids family homes work money or going to prisons or institutions

now if someone who only drinks 3 or 4 drinks a night and who doesnt lose there control on there amount they drink do they have a problem ? maybe in terms of the habbit there in that i should imagine can be broken via many sorts of treatments around
but for the alcoholic like me
it starts off drinking maybe just once a week getting drunk and over years and years it grows to daily drinking were we end up with nothing, people get fed up of us and have heard all the lies and excuses, they get fed up of trying to help, the drinking just gets worse and worse
these are just some of the tell tale signs of what an alcoholic looks like. not to mention the selfishness of it all but that only comes out later on after the head starts to clear up from the booze soaking it has had

but like i say if booze is costing anyone more than money then its got to be a problem
doesn't mean there an alcoholic and there welcome to attend aa meetings as the only requirement for memebership is a desire to stop drinking nothing more than that

so if your an alcoholic or not it doesn't matter the meetings are open to all who have whatever type of a drink problem they feel they fit into

but on reading your post it shows me again the huge differences in many peoples drinking habbits compared to my own.

Fly N Buy

Regardless of if you think you have a problem, quitting is so much better for your health.

If you quit and are wrong, you're still in a great spot. If you don't quit and discover the problem worsens, that is when the round wheels become square and you'll feel the bumps...
Yes, perhaps quit for a period and keep a journal of feeling = depression? cravings? mental obsession???? These are typical alcoholics.

As another(s) stated, denial is classic. Not saying that's you, but it is typical.

peace

Graceyloo

I read the AA link. 95% of the time I cut myself off before I am drunk. It's been 1 1/2 years since I have been drunk - I hate the feeling!

A period of abstinence and journaling my thoughts is what is needed. I need to take wine out of my routine and see what happens. I am also grieving the loss of my Dad, he passed away earlier this year from cancer. There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry. I also have a stressful job. I need to find something that makes me relax and happy at the end of the day.

zjw

I found drinking and dieting very similier. My inablity to eat properly was just as problematic as my drinking. Once i quit drinking and figured that out I was then able to tackle the dieting.

Food addiction is a very real thing just like alcohol. We tend to shovel things in our mouths to eat that are also very bad for us but we are hooked etc..

zjw

I self medicated with booze because of my stess levels etc.. and other things.

I say put it down for a while if anything it will strengthen your mind and will power If all that it is is a fun expierment and you find you have no issue hey great. If you pick it up again and find your back to the daily routine again or struggle again with it to keep it in check or obsess about it too much then yeah you might have an issue.

My wife drinks ... about 3 times a year she doesnt think any thing of it. does she enjoy a drink absolutly but she doesnt really care if its in the house or not and never orders a drink when we are out etc.. she doesnt have some sort of fixation on it. and believe me back in the day she could out drink me when it came to vodka anyhow she however just is not an alcoholic she has no issue not drinking.

Dee74

I am one of those rebel types too...but I changed, at least in respect to alcohol.
I accepted the reality - my relationship with alcohol is toxic.

I find it much much harder these days (well nigh impossible) to do self destructive things to myself because I value myself and my health.

D