LifeBlows

I saw a former co-worker from the fast food place where I got fired in 2012. She averted her eyes....it stung and made me feel ashamed. The last time I saw a co-worker from there I was at the bus stop. She stopped right in front of me, and bent over to look at my face. (I had my head bent as I was reading something on my phone) and then left without a word.

I'm not sorry that I no longer work there. I hated every minute of it. Sometimes I think that drinking on the job was my way of getting out of the situation. as in I didn't leave the job, I got fired. so its not my fault I don't have a job.

I'm making twice what I was making in fast food. I have nicer clothes and a car. I am sober. Have been for about a year and four months now. My life is good working towards getting better. I have a life coach now who is helping to get me to meet my dreams. I have a good relationship with my family. I'm in school.

I still cringe though when I meet people from back in the day.

Impurrfect

Lifeblows - I've been in a similar situation. I worked as a server at one restaurant, relapsed, and only because I was such a good employee, was allowed to work at another location.

I've been back to both locations, fully in recovery. Yes, I first had shame. What I found out, though, was my past employers and coworkers were totally thrilled that I got my life back on track.

I just got a new, and wonderful job, at over 7-1/2 years in recovery. My office space overlooks the first restaurant that I started working at when I was in a diversion center... Locked up.

I will go there to see my old friends, and show them the new me. They will be thrilled. I learned that it was MY holding on to shame that held me back.

My true friends from my work, they are happy for me. One of my old bosses who was a jerk? Let him see me excel.

Shame is something we have to eventually let go of. We did what we did, but we are no longer that person. If people get it? They add to our support network. Those who throw up our past? We detach with love. I'm both an RA as well as a recovering codependent. I have to look out for me, on both accounts.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Lusher

You're not alone-I know the feeling well.

I was known for being the 'fun' guy who loved his beer. I partied countless times with my co-workers. We worked a stressful job and booze was our relief after our shift ended. I, however, could not put the brakes on and became known for being the drunk one. I subsequently resigned due to my drinking problem after 18 years. I've been alcohol free for over a year now.

I still run into my former co-workers, as their jobs keep them in the public, and I live in the same city. I had a very awkward encounter just last week. A former co-worker, who I thought was a friend, shunned me big time.

I worked hard to make big changes, and I was expecting something like wow you look like you're doing well, etc.. Instead i felt like an ass.

I suppose they think I'm the same guy from eight years ago, but I wanted to tell him how much things have changed with me. However, I also thought perhaps he was not the friend I thought he was, and I decided to just shake his hand and walk.

fini

I learned that it was MY holding on to shame that held me back.
so true....

Impurrfect

Actions speak louder than words, though it may take a while. If someone shuns you or throws your past in your face, when you are doing all possible to be a new person? IMO, they aren't a friend, or they have been burned enough the relationship no longer works.

Yes, I've lost good friends by my past. On the other hand, I can count them on one or two fingers. The rest of my friends, though I lost xcontact years ago, are reconnecting and are a huge source of support.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

elaine45

You know what? You are too good to let people treat you that way. Who cares what those people think. I have worked a few places that were dreadful and so were the people. Move on and yes situations like that can drive us to drink. Be glad you are out of there!!

john44

I think you should read what you wrote here a few times and then go change your user name.

Don't sweat how people from "back in the day" react to you. They really don't matter much to you now, do they?

Carbonized

About the time i lost my last significant job and was at the worst of my drinking, i voluntarily withdrew from my social circles due to the fact that it was rather painful when i realized that, without exception, everyone had left me behind in every possible way that mattered. Now it's up to me to reintroduce myself as an equal at the very least.

Wastinglife

I don't think some of my old co-workers would even recognize me now. Last time they saw me, I was a bloated, overweight mess in the throes of alcoholism. I was slumming it then anyway and would never have worked there if alcohol hadn't made me so desperate.

Glad to see you are back on the right path. Don't get worked up what your old co-workers think, I mean c'mon, you met them flipping burgers, right? They're not exactly models of success themselves so they have no reason to be snobs.