Timeiskey

When my ex Abf and I broke up, I joined SR to understand him and my mother. After all, it has been twenty years since I examined those experiences but being with a full blown alcoholic was the motivation I needed to get started. However, since I started dating him, my own drinking increased. The limitations of love and boundaries built such a resentment in me. I have tried "fixing" the situation but as more time goes by, my own drinking has become an issue.

We hung out last night, I had several rounds of liquor, which is very rare for me. And then when we got home, the same old emotionless and irritated behaviors by him made my blood boil. We argued and I actually slapped his face after pounding my way through the back door. I am not a violent person but this episode scared the heck out of me. I would never have done that if I had not had drank. So, I am starting to realize that whatever triggers have been sounded and I think I need some help getting myself to a place of forgiveness and confidence that this will never happen again. I didn't even realize I was heading for a bottom. I didn't even realize I also had a real problem with drinking...I was too busy worrying about my ex's issues. Just looking for some feedback as I sit here in my own private hell of reflection and personal disappointment. This was someone I loved- regardless of how he treated me or what was building up. This is just unacceptable for me.

Dee74

I strongly believe drinking can make any situation worse timeiskey - regardless of whether you're an alcoholic or not.

You certainly wouldn't be the first person to develop a drinking problem as a maladaptive result of trying to live or deal with a drinking partner.

I'm glad you've decided to focus on yourself and your own problem

and...drinking or not if being around this guy incites you to violence, maybe he's best left 'no contact...you don't need that aggravation.

D

huntingtontx

I am glad he did not call the police. You could have been locked up and had a domestic violence charge follow you for life. A lot of us have been where you are. I knew my husband was an alcoholic long before I was. I really wanted him to cut back, and did not even see that I was drinking to much too. I waited a long time to get help and wasted to many years that could have been so much better sober. He is still a drinking alcoholic, but I can sure handle it better now that I am sober. I pray one day he will quit, but either way, I am sober and loving being in charge of my life. It sounds like you know it is time to stop drinking. You will find lots of support here.

Soberwolf

This