drunkenhermit

I drank the better part of a mickey. I wasn't terribly drunk, but drunk enough. I happily dumped out the rest of the bottle this morning.

Fresh resolve this morning to get back on track. Oh, but I've been here before. I'm 27 and I have a lot of life ahead of me (hopefully). When does this dance ever end?

MarathonMan

You don't sound overly bothered that you relapsed. Alcoholism is a tough disease to break free from and if we don't commit fully we stand no chance of success......what caused you to relapse and what can you do to avoid or make different decisions next time you are confronted with that situation.

Raider

I'm sure the dance does end, I just don't know when. I only know if you don't keep trying, the dance will never end.

Music

When the GORILLA gets tired, or you decided to end it whatever comes first.

MIRecovery

My Gorilla seemed to have a never ending source of energy

tomsteve

When you decide to stop dancing and if ya don't know how to stop dancing, then when ya decide to learn how to stop dancing.

ScottFromWI

Whenever you want it to. It's actually your choice to make. It's difficult, but absolutely possible. Having a solid plan like AA, or a self paced method like AVRT, or one of many others is essential. Following the plan on a daily basis it's also essential.

It's all up to you, and that's a good thing.

drunkenhermit

Thank you everyone for your input.

I really do believe this is true. I've come to the conclusion that I simply have a character defect. Weak will or some such.

I don't really have anyone I can lean on. I have agoraphobia and can't drive which makes healing certainly not impossible, I know, but definitely doesn't make it easier. I'm not attempting to make excuses. I'm just taking advantage of this opportunity to vent in a forum full of strangers.

I know I can do this and that I want to do this. I just don't understand why I keep failing when I don't even really like drinking all that much anymore. I wish I could figure out "the missing piece" that my life apparently has that makes me want to fill it up with the temporary warm fuzzy that is alcohol.

I think I will have success this time.

PurpleKnight

How much do you want it and prepared to go to make it happen?

That's when the dance ends!!

Dee74

nah you have an addiction.
Stop feeding it, and things will get a lot better DH

D

countrysidegirl

Sounds like you need more support, you say you don't like to get out ? Agronophobia ? Yet muster energy to get drink ?

That sound harsh ? Sorry but use this energy to get help, having a fear out outdoors is debilitating but I think you can phone AA and talk , I find talking can help, coming on here helps immensely

The dance as others have said wont end unless you stop dancing like a fire wont go out unless you keep breathing into it and feeding it....

Its not going to be easy but I managed to arrange to get to aa and have opened up my bible I was given at my baptism when 16 I'm 30now so I know something or someone is finally getting through my thick skull n pride.....

I'm only a message away rooting for you

Charlotte xx

Sudz No More

I know this much, the merry go round keeps moving if you don't get off

waynetheking

That dance will eventually turn into a sickening nightmare. Either you walk off the floor or it eventually kills you. Its a disease. Im glad ur coming back. Your lucky this time. Its gets harder as life goes on. Stay with us. Glad you're here hermit