Rose tinted spectacles
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Rose tinted spectacles
Hi I'm new here, been lurking for a while and thought it was about time I posted. I just wondered if anyone wanted to share their thoughts and experiences on looking back on their drinking days with rose tinted spectacles.
A bit of background: I realised I was drinking too much and it was becoming a problem, and my partner also has a problem with alcohol, so I gave up both for myself and to support him. We've both been sober for roughly 4 months this time around. Although I've seen so many benefits in myself as a result of giving up drinking and we get on so much better sober, I can't help but look back on the good memories of times we spent drinking together, eg sharing wine over a romantic meal, fun bar crawls on holiday, relaxing cocktails on the beach., unwinding after a hard day at work over a few beers together. It's really getting me down and I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, even though I know rationally that drinking led to more trouble than good times, and we get on so much better now. Before when I've given up I've never gone for more than 3 months. This is the longest I've gone, and I didn't expect this feeling of doom and gloom. I'm hoping that I'll get used to life without alcohol. Does it get better?
A bit of background: I realised I was drinking too much and it was becoming a problem, and my partner also has a problem with alcohol, so I gave up both for myself and to support him. We've both been sober for roughly 4 months this time around. Although I've seen so many benefits in myself as a result of giving up drinking and we get on so much better sober, I can't help but look back on the good memories of times we spent drinking together, eg sharing wine over a romantic meal, fun bar crawls on holiday, relaxing cocktails on the beach., unwinding after a hard day at work over a few beers together. It's really getting me down and I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, even though I know rationally that drinking led to more trouble than good times, and we get on so much better now. Before when I've given up I've never gone for more than 3 months. This is the longest I've gone, and I didn't expect this feeling of doom and gloom. I'm hoping that I'll get used to life without alcohol. Does it get better?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Western ny
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To put it simply yes. As more time goes on you will start seeing your drinking days with less of this rosy outlook. Right now even at 4 months this is still the addict part of your brain choosing to see only the positives of drinking. You may find this doom and gloom attitude clear up even a few days from now. Sometimes all we can do is just not pick up no matter what.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Thank you for your reply. It's the sort of thing I need to hear from other people who have been there to help me stay strong. The weird thing is for the first 2 or 3 months I had absolutely no desire to drink. I guess the memory of the horrors was still fresh in my head.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yes, Ellon, "it" gets better.
but it sounds like you might benefit from some AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique), which will help with those rosy thoughts which sound like illusion and denial to me
when i hear this: I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, it's clearly not your rational self talking. billions of people have things to look forward to that don't involve getting smashed.
feeling that there will be nothing good in a life without booze is scary and depressing and a post on the road back to drinking.
if you think you are depressed (seems some of us find that we are, and that getting drunk masked it prior to quitting), speak with your health care person.
you can find AVRT explained and talked about at length in the "secular connections" section farther down the forum categories. it's a good tool for looking at those thoughts/feelings you're having.
welcome to SR, Ellon,
but it sounds like you might benefit from some AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique), which will help with those rosy thoughts which sound like illusion and denial to me
when i hear this: I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, it's clearly not your rational self talking. billions of people have things to look forward to that don't involve getting smashed.
feeling that there will be nothing good in a life without booze is scary and depressing and a post on the road back to drinking.
if you think you are depressed (seems some of us find that we are, and that getting drunk masked it prior to quitting), speak with your health care person.
you can find AVRT explained and talked about at length in the "secular connections" section farther down the forum categories. it's a good tool for looking at those thoughts/feelings you're having.
welcome to SR, Ellon,
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I would suggest you spend a half hour on your computer writing about your drinking - from when you started until the day you stopped. Include all the problems it caused for you. I know when I start romanticizing I can go back and read it and say, "Oh, yeah. Oops. Don't want to go back there."
Also spend some time reading around on these forums. Things can get really bad - jail, accidents, loss of relationships and loss of jobs. Serious illness, mental illness, DUIs, destruction of property, gastritis, pancreatitis, stomach problems, blood coming from places it shouldn't, liver failure, pancreas failure or cancer, kidney failure, bone loss, heart failure, death.
Also spend some time reading around on these forums. Things can get really bad - jail, accidents, loss of relationships and loss of jobs. Serious illness, mental illness, DUIs, destruction of property, gastritis, pancreatitis, stomach problems, blood coming from places it shouldn't, liver failure, pancreas failure or cancer, kidney failure, bone loss, heart failure, death.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Originally Posted by fini 
yes, Ellon, "it" gets better. but it sounds like you might benefit from some AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique), which will help with those rosy thoughts which sound like illusion and denial to me when i hear this: I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, it's clearly not your rational self talking. billions of people have things to look forward to that don't involve getting smashed. feeling that there will be nothing good in a life without booze is scary and depressing and a post on the road back to drinking. if you think you are depressed (seems some of us find that we are, and that getting drunk masked it prior to quitting), speak with your health care person. you can find AVRT explained and talked about at length in the "secular connections" section farther down the forum categories. it's a good tool for looking at those thoughts/feelings you're having. welcome to SR, Ellon,
when i hear this: I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, it's clearly not your rational self talking. billions of people have things to look forward to that don't involve getting smashed. feeling that there will be nothing good in a life without booze is scary and depressing and a post on the road back to drinking. if you think you are depressed (seems some of us find that we are, and that getting drunk masked it prior to quitting), speak with your health care person. you can find AVRT explained and talked about at length in the "secular connections" section farther down the forum categories. it's a good tool for looking at those thoughts/feelings you're having. welcome to SR, Ellon,I will look into the AVRT and yes I do think getting drunk might have been masking a mild depression.
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
I've been sober for a while and I still miss some of the old times I used to have, similar to what you described in you OP. It's crazy I know but I compare it to a new mother, just giving birth, going through all that pain and discomfort for not only the birth, but the preceding nine months and then wanting to have another child and go through it all again. My mind tends to block out the real bad parts of drinking; the hurt I not only caused myself but my family, friends and pretty much everyone I came in contact with. A friend told me once that the further I am from my last drink, the closer I am to my next drink. I will always remember that and do my best to cherish those memories but not forget the pain. I'm POWERLESS over alcohol--my life became UNMANAGABLE.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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I'd be lying if there wasn't times I look back on some of the shenanigans I got up to before things got bad
One time I was in a club for my bday it had a swimming pool and the rule was keep your underwear on well... Let's just say my friend didn't chaotic comedy ensued and for the rest of the night he thought somebody nicked his socks I was beside myself come over with hysterics
But that was then and this is now
One time I was in a club for my bday it had a swimming pool and the rule was keep your underwear on well... Let's just say my friend didn't chaotic comedy ensued and for the rest of the night he thought somebody nicked his socks I was beside myself come over with hysterics
But that was then and this is now
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