1seekinghelp

I have 21 months sober, have completed my steps and had a regular 12 step group until I resigned from leadership recently due to the feeling that I was one of "those people". I have leadership skills, but I am a reluctant leader to some extent and I feel that I should serve but I don't want to lead per se. Now I am looking for a new recovery group, my sponsor says I have some 4th step work to do around a couple of issues with people that have come up and she is worried about my recovery because of patterns she sees with my behavior. I need to keep serving to keep my recovery moving forward but I don't see how to do service work too without burning out.

I get it on the one hand and I'm not afraid of hard work to stay sober but I am scared of relapse. Any suggestions on how to move forward in service work and deal with my insecurity about leading a 12 step group? I feel stuck in some respects and at a cross roads. I want to continue to grow in my recovery and right now I am pouting and feeling sorry for myself over all this and I need to get over it and move forward, but I need some direction please.

How do I choose another 12 step group? Oh and then want to stay because I am intolerant (a character defect I know and I am aware of it) of the sick and crazy that come in and stay stuck in denial and never move forward for one reason or another. I feel completely lost right now, but I am sober and using my tools the best I know how. Thanks

LaVallette

As someone who is ex-military, I have found that some of the best leaders are those who were reluctant to lead, not because they didn't want the responsibility, but because they CARED. Because they believed that by caring, it could make them indecisive (or in AA speak - a "people pleaser") and that in turn may get people hurt (or even killed). IMHO this actually made them considerate, in the sense of weighing things up and making a decision based on the best outcome for the troops. Risk vs reward if you will.

In regards to "choosing" another 12 step group, how about applying to start your own? It is true that sometimes we need to be prodded in the right direction by a sponsor, but if you feel you're burning out, let them know how you feel.

Hope I've helped somewhat. God Bless.

tomsteve

"Any suggestions on how to move forward in service work and deal with my insecurity about leading a 12 step group?"
check out the 2nd tradition. trusted servants we are.


How do I choose another 12 step group? Oh and then want to stay because I am intolerant (a character defect I know and I am aware of it) of the sick and crazy that come in and stay stuck in denial and never move forward for one reason or another. I feel completely lost right now, but I am sober and using my tools the best I know how. Thanks
id say pray on it and check the motives for choosing the group.

as far as burning out, service work shouldn't be a burden. there are many forms of service work and its ok to say no. AA gave me live. it is my way of life. not my complete life. I have other responsibilities and duties to attend to. it took me time to find balance.

sugarbear1

try working those steps again and keep practicing prayer and meditation, in meditation, your answers will come to you.

Mountainmanbob

do you Sponsor anyone ?

may be time ?

I would consider Sponsoring to be of the highest type of service work

one on one helping an alcoholic -- good stuff

MM

IOAA2

Hi. And congratulations with your work. If I’m not mistaken there is a sentence “we have no leaders.”
I’ve been around for awhile and I’ve been “active” in the program since first arriving. Setting up the hall, shopping and making coffee, washing ash trays, being the treasurer, commitment person, chairing meetings, going on commitments, doing commitments at prisons, sweeping up after the meetings, being GSR rep along with area rep are to me service positions along with others. In other words there is plenty of things to do.
BE WELL

1seekinghelp

I do sponsor someone right now and it is going great! Thanks for the suggestion :-)