renee18

Ia m not sure if it is okay to ask this question here but I am going to ask and if it is wrong to ask then just post that. I am 18 and my dad is an alcoholic. I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now as my dad cont. to drink. I have one question. many of us have grown up with an alcoholic we have seen the worse of things but some follow in the footsteps of the alcohlic and drink others like myself will never drink afraid I will be an alcoholic, too. Why do some drink and others do not drink. Because in the end we all have seen the something. A disease that takes over. I has been on my mine for awhile if I should of not asked this question just post not approporite.
Thanks,
Love
Shana, 18.

best

Peer preasure... was the thing to do. everyone else was doing it. Wanna look cool. Wanna be like the grown ups. Many reasons. I didn't have the insight you have when I was your age. I had to learn things the hard way (as I do with most things) The best way not to be one of the many is to never start. the best way for me to not return as one of the many is to never restart.
You are smart and blessed to understand this before hand. Good for you. Remember what you have learned if someone asks you if you want a drink some day.

bikewench

Hey Renee...

Good for you for going to Alanon.

I started Alateen when I was around 12... cause my Dad was a violent drunk and he drank every day. My Mom left lots of times.. but she always went back. So.. her solution was to send myself and my older sister to Program. We went for a few months... but... all it did at the time was make me feel bad.


I'm 48 now...

You put out a good question. But... I don't have the answer... ;o)

I was a drinker and a pot and speed addict by the time I was 16. My oldest sister has had maybe 10 tiny drinks in her whole life.... my other sister drank little... but she went into program cause she had blackouts when she did drink.

My 3 brothers are social drinkers...

I guess it all depends on the thoughts and beliefs of the person involved.

Patsyd1

Hi Shana,

Please, ask all the questions that you want to, I think its great that you are asking questions.

I would suggest that you get the book "It Will Never Happen To Me" by Claudia Black. Another great book is called "Adult Children Of Alcoholics" by Janet G. Woititz, Ed.D.

I was absolutely determined that I would never ever ever drink EVER, much less become alcoholic. I didn't take a drink of alcohol until my wedding day, and it was the champagne toast, I was 21 yrs old. I didn't drink after that for about one year, and the only reason that I drank at that party was that my then husband said that I didn't know how to have fun because I wouldn't drink. I had the first drink, and then I had one more. It was like a light switch went on inside my head. I wasn't afraid any longer, I stopped worrying about what others thought of me, I could talk to anyone about anything, I could dance (something I had always been embarrassed to do), I laughed so hard that night. I remember thinking..... wow, this stuff is great.

Here is where I got myself into real trouble ---> I was absolutely convinced that because I grew up in a violent home, with two desperate and out of control alcoholic parents......... THAT I WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP, and I would never ever ever drink like THEM.

I simply thought that I had found something that allowed me to do all things that I always wanted to do, but was too afraid and too self conscious too do. I had no clue about what alcoholism really was, I had no idea that it is an illness, that it is progressive, and that it slowly begins to own you, mentally, physiclally, and spiritually. I had no idea that I couldn't stop drinking, until I tried to stop drinking....... I simply had lost the ability to choose NOT to drink.

I have heard at AA meetings the following: Alcohol gave me wings to fly, and then took away the sky. I immediately identified with that.

I never planned on drinking, I never had the desire to drink. I was in such fear of alcohol because I saw what it did to my entire family, this disease hasn't skipped too many in my family for generations back, on both sides.... I do believe that alcoholism is genetic. I simply didn't know what I didn't know, and I thought I was different, that I would just know, that it simply couldn't happen to me. I was wrong, and I was almost dead wrong.


Just because someone doesn't drink Shana, doesn't mean that they haven't been affected by alcoholism. No one gets out of an alcoholic home without being affected deeply from alcoholism, they do not call this a family disease for nothing.

Congratulations to you Shana for attending Alanon meetings, that is fantastic.

If you ever want to ask more questions, please do.
Love
Patsy

renee18

Thanks bikewench, Pastsy, and Best. Pastsy thanks for the book titles I think i will go get them and read them. I fear alcohol, too. Because I see what it has done to my family. I think it is genetic too. That is why I do not want to drink and put my family through what I have been through. My thoughts might change though I am not sure. Because a lot of my thoughts have changed since being in Al-Anon.
Thanks for responding to my question.
Love,
Shana, 18

lulu70

Like other posters, I, too, drank because of peer pressure. Also because I never felt like I fit in, and was always looking for ways to feel better about myself. Alcohol was like magic for me. All my bad feelings went away. Of course, that did not last. As far as I know, no one in my family is alcoholic. I don't know why I am an alcoholic. I just know that I am.

I hope these posts have helped!