Fell down.....trying to get back up
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Here
Posts: 4
Fell down.....trying to get back up
I've never posted in a site like this before, but I ran across it last night in a time of need. I have been an off and on drinker for 10 years, I very well know Im an alcoholic. I went a year and a half sober and then throughout the past 8 months have been off and on drinking again, usually somehow being able to pull it together. I was in such denial about it. I didn't want to be an alcoholic anymore. I'd watch things on tv where people would drink and have fun and desperately wanted to be like that. I ignored every instinct I had about what I have learned about recovery in the past 10 years. I was lost. I switched jobs 3 weeks ago and put in my two weeks notice and on the last week decided to drink at work thinking I had it under control. I got drunk, lost control of my emotions, cried, then just walked out. I was humiliated. In the 3 weeks since then, Ive been on two small benders and drunk emailed people and I can't stop obsessing about all the embarrassing things I did. I'm going to my first meeting in about a year today, I need to get back on the right path. I was just writing to find some much needed support today and some words of wisdom of getting over humiliation. Thank you all. 
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Oh I know about the humiliation.
Nasty.
But I try to remember that people quickly move on.
They don't sit all day thinking about us.
I suppose suggest focusing just on yourself at the moment and getting through the early stage. You can worry about how other people feel about you some other time.
Nasty.
But I try to remember that people quickly move on.
They don't sit all day thinking about us.
I suppose suggest focusing just on yourself at the moment and getting through the early stage. You can worry about how other people feel about you some other time.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 26
I don't know if this will help, but here is what I used to do when I did embarrassing stuff when I was drunk. I would wake up the next day feeling so much shame, then I would say wait a minute and imagine I had a giant eraser and was erasing everything I had done that was stupid. Then it would be gone and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore! I don't know if that's a healthy way of dealing with things, but at least you won't dwell on it as much.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
We've all been there, alcohol caused many things in my life that I wanted to forget soon after, but the memories will all fade in time, there's no point beating yourself up over the past, it can't be changed.
However we can change the future and don't have to go back to that place.
SR is a great place for support and advice, it's great to have you onboard!!
We've all been there, alcohol caused many things in my life that I wanted to forget soon after, but the memories will all fade in time, there's no point beating yourself up over the past, it can't be changed.
However we can change the future and don't have to go back to that place.
SR is a great place for support and advice, it's great to have you onboard!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome to SR! Try not to let those feelings of guilt and shame bog you down at this early recovery stage... you can get beyond them. Many here have been right there in that place of humiliation and do understand. You'll find much support here!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: florida
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Duckygirl 
I've never posted in a site like this before, but I ran across it last night in a time of need. I have been an off and on drinker for 10 years, I very well know Im an alcoholic. I went a year and a half sober and then throughout the past 8 months have been off and on drinking again, usually somehow being able to pull it together. I was in such denial about it. I didn't want to be an alcoholic anymore. I'd watch things on tv where people would drink and have fun and desperately wanted to be like that. I ignored every instinct I had about what I have learned about recovery in the past 10 years. I was lost. I switched jobs 3 weeks ago and put in my two weeks notice and on the last week decided to drink at work thinking I had it under control. I got drunk, lost control of my emotions, cried, then just walked out. I was humiliated. In the 3 weeks since then, Ive been on two small benders and drunk emailed people and I can't stop obsessing about all the embarrassing things I did. I'm going to my first meeting in about a year today, I need to get back on the right path. I was just writing to find some much needed support today and some words of wisdom of getting over humiliation. Thank you all.
Good thing you want to make things right in your life. Sure you can!!!!!!
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