Potentially drunk person asked for money for food
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 350
Potentially drunk person asked for money for food
Sometimes I look at myself from a distance and think, "who is dis guy?" in this pure appreciation to the growth I've experienced these last few years. Yesterday, while on the way out of my building at work, I noticed a man sitting on a bench in the entryway. He stood up and asked me if I knew the McGee's. I replied, "no, I'm not familiar with them". The man was very likely drunk (although I can't confirm that for sure). It came at little surprise to me at his next question. "Do you have any money I could use for food?". And this is the interesting part that surprised/floored me. Here is my reply. "I am an alcoholic, and I am on my way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Would you like to join me?"
The man looked at me funny and muttered a few things I could not fully discern. He then stated, "I need some money for a bus ride." And I reflected back his statement, "You're saying that you need to get somewhere?" and he replied with, "yeah, to Fred Meyer's". I believe at that time, I stated that I was on my way to a meeting. He asked me to say hello to someone he knew. I'm not sure if he was admitting that he knew someone who had found sobriety. Conversations like these are challenging because communication is really poor from the other person. My final statement was, "I've made an offer for you to attend an AA meeting from 5-6, and I would note that there is food and a movie after the meeting. If I understand you correctly, you have expressed that you're not interested." I think he muttered something else about maybe attending and saying hi to his friend. Again, not sure since it was challenging to figure out exactly what he was saying.
I am so fascinated at how much of a 180 I have turned in my life. My old self would have walked right past the person and kept on going. But my new self was able to look him in the eye and offer him some compassion. I technically don't know if he had an issue with alcohol, which is why I simply asked if he was interested. I respected his boundaries, but was also able to respect mine (I didn't feel comfortable offering money, but felt comfortable offering help). I asked questions and I listened.
Absolutely amazing. I barely recognize myself but love the changes. And also, I believe that I'm still ME. I am just much more honest about who I am and I am not afraid to BE who I am.
I am not in a place yet to seek out other alcoholics to offer them my experience, strength, and hope, but progress is something to be appreciated regardless.
I am so grateful for my recovery. It felt amazing to have compassion for another human being without an ounce of judgment. It is because I could easily see myself ending in his shoes if I didn't take the help that I need to fight my disease. I truly wish that man well along with all other alcoholics struggling.
The man looked at me funny and muttered a few things I could not fully discern. He then stated, "I need some money for a bus ride." And I reflected back his statement, "You're saying that you need to get somewhere?" and he replied with, "yeah, to Fred Meyer's". I believe at that time, I stated that I was on my way to a meeting. He asked me to say hello to someone he knew. I'm not sure if he was admitting that he knew someone who had found sobriety. Conversations like these are challenging because communication is really poor from the other person. My final statement was, "I've made an offer for you to attend an AA meeting from 5-6, and I would note that there is food and a movie after the meeting. If I understand you correctly, you have expressed that you're not interested." I think he muttered something else about maybe attending and saying hi to his friend. Again, not sure since it was challenging to figure out exactly what he was saying.
I am so fascinated at how much of a 180 I have turned in my life. My old self would have walked right past the person and kept on going. But my new self was able to look him in the eye and offer him some compassion. I technically don't know if he had an issue with alcohol, which is why I simply asked if he was interested. I respected his boundaries, but was also able to respect mine (I didn't feel comfortable offering money, but felt comfortable offering help). I asked questions and I listened.
Absolutely amazing. I barely recognize myself but love the changes. And also, I believe that I'm still ME. I am just much more honest about who I am and I am not afraid to BE who I am.
I am not in a place yet to seek out other alcoholics to offer them my experience, strength, and hope, but progress is something to be appreciated regardless.
I am so grateful for my recovery. It felt amazing to have compassion for another human being without an ounce of judgment. It is because I could easily see myself ending in his shoes if I didn't take the help that I need to fight my disease. I truly wish that man well along with all other alcoholics struggling.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by thotful 
It felt amazing to have compassion for another human being without an ounce of judgment.
Just to be occasionally free of that beast of a judgment-machine is such a wonderful experience it's hard to put into words. It's stories like that which remind me recovery from alcoholism is about 5% not drinking and 95% a new way of living, a new way of seeing the world and it's people, and a new way of behaving.
I remember thinking, "Jeez, it sure seems like putting the plug in the jug is a good thing but I don't see how it's going to make THAT much of a difference." Truth be told, it made a difference and it didn't make much of a difference. Surely, it was a necessary beginning but that's, for me, about all it was. Just the first of many necessary steps along this path of a whole new life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Thotful, I was never comfortable giving money to people who I thought had drug/alcohol problems. eventually I came to the thought that it didn't matter of they did or or not. They were hungry. I worried about enabling. This was solved by carrying gift cards for mcDonalds. I'm not a fan of McDonald's but it's the convenient in the area so anyone could walk to several locations. A friend of mine carries business sized cards with the addresses of feeding stations and shelters.
Don't know of this is helpful to you but I think we need to help where and how we can.
love from Lenina
Don't know of this is helpful to you but I think we need to help where and how we can.
love from Lenina
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by thotful
Sometimes I look at myself from a distance and think, "who is dis guy?" in this pure appreciation to the growth I've experienced these last few years. Yesterday, while on the way out of my building at work, I noticed a man sitting on a bench in the entryway. He stood up and asked me if I knew the McGee's. I replied, "no, I'm not familiar with them". The man was very likely drunk (although I can't confirm that for sure). It came at little surprise to me at his next question. "Do you have any money I could use for food?". And this is the interesting part that surprised/floored me. Here is my reply. "I am an alcoholic, and I am on my way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Would you like to join me?"
The man looked at me funny and muttered a few things I could not fully discern. He then stated, "I need some money for a bus ride." And I reflected back his statement, "You're saying that you need to get somewhere?" and he replied with, "yeah, to Fred Meyer's". I believe at that time, I stated that I was on my way to a meeting. He asked me to say hello to someone he knew. I'm not sure if he was admitting that he knew someone who had found sobriety. Conversations like these are challenging because communication is really poor from the other person. My final statement was, "I've made an offer for you to attend an AA meeting from 5-6, and I would note that there is food and a movie after the meeting. If I understand you correctly, you have expressed that you're not interested." I think he muttered something else about maybe attending and saying hi to his friend. Again, not sure since it was challenging to figure out exactly what he was saying.
I am so fascinated at how much of a 180 I have turned in my life. My old self would have walked right past the person and kept on going. But my new self was able to look him in the eye and offer him some compassion. I technically don't know if he had an issue with alcohol, which is why I simply asked if he was interested. I respected his boundaries, but was also able to respect mine (I didn't feel comfortable offering money, but felt comfortable offering help). I asked questions and I listened.
Absolutely amazing. I barely recognize myself but love the changes. And also, I believe that I'm still ME. I am just much more honest about who I am and I am not afraid to BE who I am.
I am not in a place yet to seek out other alcoholics to offer them my experience, strength, and hope, but progress is something to be appreciated regardless.
I am so grateful for my recovery. It felt amazing to have compassion for another human being without an ounce of judgment. It is because I could easily see myself ending in his shoes if I didn't take the help that I need to fight my disease. I truly wish that man well along with all other alcoholics struggling.
The man looked at me funny and muttered a few things I could not fully discern. He then stated, "I need some money for a bus ride." And I reflected back his statement, "You're saying that you need to get somewhere?" and he replied with, "yeah, to Fred Meyer's". I believe at that time, I stated that I was on my way to a meeting. He asked me to say hello to someone he knew. I'm not sure if he was admitting that he knew someone who had found sobriety. Conversations like these are challenging because communication is really poor from the other person. My final statement was, "I've made an offer for you to attend an AA meeting from 5-6, and I would note that there is food and a movie after the meeting. If I understand you correctly, you have expressed that you're not interested." I think he muttered something else about maybe attending and saying hi to his friend. Again, not sure since it was challenging to figure out exactly what he was saying.
I am so fascinated at how much of a 180 I have turned in my life. My old self would have walked right past the person and kept on going. But my new self was able to look him in the eye and offer him some compassion. I technically don't know if he had an issue with alcohol, which is why I simply asked if he was interested. I respected his boundaries, but was also able to respect mine (I didn't feel comfortable offering money, but felt comfortable offering help). I asked questions and I listened.
Absolutely amazing. I barely recognize myself but love the changes. And also, I believe that I'm still ME. I am just much more honest about who I am and I am not afraid to BE who I am.
I am not in a place yet to seek out other alcoholics to offer them my experience, strength, and hope, but progress is something to be appreciated regardless.
I am so grateful for my recovery. It felt amazing to have compassion for another human being without an ounce of judgment. It is because I could easily see myself ending in his shoes if I didn't take the help that I need to fight my disease. I truly wish that man well along with all other alcoholics struggling.
I would only encourage you to add the word recovered to your alcoholic introduction.
"We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others."
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 9 - The Family Afterward, p. 132
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