dSober

As seminal as the Big Book is, I believe there's one place it's lacking in terms of achieving its desired results: Step 3.

It took me seven years to do that step sufficiently to allow me to move on and really do the rest. I know much of this problem is addressed, specifically in "We Agnostics", but apparently it's not enough. AA meetings and SR have shown me that I was not alone in my struggle. Many people struggle long and hard with this step.

Your thoughts?

dSober

Perhaps I should have started this in another forum but this one seems to get the most traffic. I'm sure that question will resolve itself

IOAA2

"Step 3 is about choosing to have faith in something. It’s about perspective, knowing what you can control and what you can’t."

BE WELL

songthread

The God of my understanding is One that I can't really claim to understand at all!

BradJustBrad

Just curious - were you sober during those seven years you were struggling with that step?

mick3580

It would help if you could explain what you feel step 3, as explained in the big book, is lacking. It seems clear to me. What's unclear to me is how people share in meetings about it.

dSober

Mostly not. Went to meetings, mostly mandated, but mostly not sober. Suffered very serious withdrawl MANY times.

dSober

Hmm... hmm... I guess I didn't understand how I could understand God.

dSober

That didn't work, for me. I needed to better understand what I was to turn my will and my life over to. I do now but it took too long. Thank God some others "get it" more quickly. But others never do.

songthread

"I needed to better understand what I was to turn my will and my life over to."

what did you turn your will and life over to?

dSober

[QUOTE=songthread;4732496what did you turn your will and life over to?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that was the $50 question. I now see my God as my conscience. When I ask, it tells me what's right and what's wrong. I just need to listen and act accordingly.

sugarbear1

it's just a decision to move forward with those steps.....

Ryno03272009

The third step at one time was about god but today it has evolved to a higher power greater than ourselves which you or I or anyone else cannot explain - we can only believe.

I was at a meeting one time and someone was up speaking about how the third step made sense to him - I will relay to you what he said and maybe it will help you out because I thought he had a good perspective....

"There is a music playing in this room right now. We cant hear it right now because we dont have a radio or were not tuned into the right station. God is like a radio station: you have to be listening in order to hear and even if at first you hear static keep tuning in and youll hear the music."

Keep tuning in on what ever you believe can help keep you at ease; church, self refection, prayer, meditation etc... Basically you just need to realize things happen that cannot be explained and the great things that will happen to you in sobriety are great things... Just keep tuning in and let it work for you and you will be fine.

dSober

Speaking for myself, I did that but wasn't able to do it thoroughly enough, I guess. I couldn't find my God, Higher Power, Karma, whatever. I bought completely into 1 & 2 from the get-go; 1 was ovbious, 2 was obvious if I wanted to live (I did, most of the time, lol). I finally did 3, and I know how, but I'm curious how others, that were stuck on 3 for a while, did it.

I didn't drink after that. I zipped right through 4-9 (with the help of a good Big Book thumping sponsor) really just to get to 10-12 to maintain my sobriety.

jdooner

I keep going back to this step and struggling to due it honestly, really honestly. It scares me that I won't get it but I keep returning and trying.

jdooner

I disagree - we can all move forward - to be able to turn your will over to faith in a God of your understanding I feel is more significant than moving onto the rest of the steps. But hey, we all interpret it differently.

Grungehead

I made a decision to turn my my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. That's it. In step one I admitted that I can't run the show. In step two I was willing to believe a higher power could run the show. In step three I decided to let Him. For me the first 3 steps are all about willingness. By the time I finished with the action steps (4-9) I could look back and see that I had incorporated steps 2 and 3 into my life as a byproduct.

sugarbear1

For me, I just knew those steps helped others.

I had no idea what my higher power was, I went in fairly blindly knowing something had me under their care and I got through those steps.

It wasn't until I got past 7 that I knew I had a higher power, but I still don't define it. Mostly, it's Love.

I had a LOT of willingness to move on with those steps. I was dying inside.

dSober

I was dying inside also. I was also watching my daughter coming up right behind me. I'll skip the exact technique I used that helped me get there, for now, but bottom line is I finally found God inside... way deep. I had been looking outside: clouds, churches, AA mtgs, etc. but not finding Him. When I finally turned my sights around, the "revelation" was virtually instantaneous. Everything else followed from that moment. I believe God exists inside ALL of us. If we seek, we shall find. For me, now, God is a concept, not an entity.

Gottalife

I order to keep it simple, this is a very practical way to describe step three.

In step 2 "We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to..."

This tells me we are not going to have much if any actual belief in God at this stage. but even an inadequate conception is enough to move forward.

Imagine you've just bought a new television. You make a decision to watch a new program. You dont know anything about the program, you've never seen it before, but you are told its a good thing. Does your decision enable you to see the program? Of course not. First you must un pack the tv and make sure youve got all the bits, plug it in, tune it in, in that specific order, then, if youve done it right you get to watch the program.

My belief in a Power greater than myself came as the result of the steps. I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to a power I could not define or comprehend. The action to make that happen was to remove the packaging that had been blocking me, and to tune in, through the steps.

Step 4 was the first action to make the decision a reality and not just a wish. When the new member arrives in AA and they see step 4 on the wall, the first reaction is usually "no, never would I do that!" That is self will, that 4th step is the last thing we want to do.

With the third step prayer, where we ask God to help us, a change often takes place. It did with me. I felt the need to do step 4, a complete reversal in attitude. This was the first time I had become willing to do God's will, rather than my own. It was good evidence that I had in fact acted on my decision.

I still had no real God consciosness, that did not begin until after step 5, which, when we read the book, is exactly where it usually happens for most of us. It seems step three does not so much bring about God consciousness, as it does prompt us toward taking the action needed to open that door.

Getting connected to the God of our understanding, who will solve all our problems, is what the entire program is about.