Hi im a newbie and im terrified!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2
Hi im a newbie and im terrified!
Well basically my world has started to crash around me. Saturday night I got so drunk that I blacked out. Apparently the situation got out of hand because my boyfriend almost kicked someone's butt. The guy was trying to stop him from dragging me through a parking lot. I have no recollection of the night, only thing I remember is someone putting me in a car and giving me water and pretzels. I was vomiting of course. When I get home my boyfriend was extremely angry with me. This is the second time he has experienced me binge drinking. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him over this.
I acknowledge I have a control problem, and I will binge uncontrollably. I need to get help to stop. I know to not put myself I'm situations. I don't know where to go to get help. I don't drink daily. Once or twice a month if that. I am on medication for health issues that are probably not helping the situation.
I acknowledge I have a control problem, and I will binge uncontrollably. I need to get help to stop. I know to not put myself I'm situations. I don't know where to go to get help. I don't drink daily. Once or twice a month if that. I am on medication for health issues that are probably not helping the situation.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Cheshire, sorry to hear of your troubles, but you've made a great choice to come here to SR. You could get started by perhaps seeing your doc to make sure your meds are OK. They might be intensifying the alcohol consumption too.
Have you considered local recovery meetings like AA or NA? Sometimes having local support can be very helpful, especially in the early stages. Know that you are not alone though and we understand.
Have you considered local recovery meetings like AA or NA? Sometimes having local support can be very helpful, especially in the early stages. Know that you are not alone though and we understand.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi and welcome CheshireEyez46 
I absolutely agree with Scott about seeing your Dr.
After that, what about some face to face support?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Keep posting here too. I'm really glad you found us
D
I absolutely agree with Scott about seeing your Dr.
After that, what about some face to face support?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Keep posting here too. I'm really glad you found us
D
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Hi and welcome to SR.
It took me years to learn that it isn't how much someone drinks, or how often, or how long someone drinks, or even what someone drinks that makes them an alcoholic it is what happens when they drink. For me it came down to when I drank I never knew what would happen sometimes everything would be alright but far too often bad things would happen that would not have happened had I not been drinking. These events occurred more and more often as the years of my drinking progressed until I finally had enough and realized that alcohol was my problem.
Since I came to that realization and decided that I had to stop drinking my life has changed. Those bad events no longer happen in my life. Every morning when I wake up I know what I did the night before, my car is in my driveway, I know who I am in bed with, friends are not going to be angry with me for my actions the night before, and I know the police are not going to be looking for me. For me the solution was a program of recovery. There are many of them out there. AA happens to be what worked for me but there are many here who have used other programs with success and some who used no organized program at all. Here is a pretty comprehensive list of recovery programs: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I wish you the best in your journey and hope you are able to find the answers to your problem
It took me years to learn that it isn't how much someone drinks, or how often, or how long someone drinks, or even what someone drinks that makes them an alcoholic it is what happens when they drink. For me it came down to when I drank I never knew what would happen sometimes everything would be alright but far too often bad things would happen that would not have happened had I not been drinking. These events occurred more and more often as the years of my drinking progressed until I finally had enough and realized that alcohol was my problem.
Since I came to that realization and decided that I had to stop drinking my life has changed. Those bad events no longer happen in my life. Every morning when I wake up I know what I did the night before, my car is in my driveway, I know who I am in bed with, friends are not going to be angry with me for my actions the night before, and I know the police are not going to be looking for me. For me the solution was a program of recovery. There are many of them out there. AA happens to be what worked for me but there are many here who have used other programs with success and some who used no organized program at all. Here is a pretty comprehensive list of recovery programs: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I wish you the best in your journey and hope you are able to find the answers to your problem
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
might be a good idea you stop. binge drinking is what i did, but i did it more often that you did. your lucky you did not wake up in a different situation. glad you are seeing you have a problem and you want to stop
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Good to meet you Cheshire. I'm so glad you reached out for some help.
I had times like that when I was younger - and I never did a thing about it. Years later I had done terrible damage to myself in every way possible. This won't have to be your fate. You're among friends who understand - keep posting.
I had times like that when I was younger - and I never did a thing about it. Years later I had done terrible damage to myself in every way possible. This won't have to be your fate. You're among friends who understand - keep posting.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
I acknowledge I have a control problem, and I will binge uncontrollably.
CE,
yes, the very idea of a binge is counter to control. no such thing as a controlled binge.
and yes, for years i thought i had a control problem, too, in the way that i somehow almost always drank more than i'd intended to, and drank again repeatedly when i'd decided not to.
still, i kept trying to control, believing that control was possible for me.
it was not.
seems from what you're saying like you realize that this has run away from you, and is running right over you.
really understanding i couldn't control it, or myself with it, was the beginning of my sobriety.
good to see you here and see you looking for help.
CE,
yes, the very idea of a binge is counter to control. no such thing as a controlled binge.
and yes, for years i thought i had a control problem, too, in the way that i somehow almost always drank more than i'd intended to, and drank again repeatedly when i'd decided not to.
still, i kept trying to control, believing that control was possible for me.
it was not.
seems from what you're saying like you realize that this has run away from you, and is running right over you.
really understanding i couldn't control it, or myself with it, was the beginning of my sobriety.
good to see you here and see you looking for help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2
Thank you everyone. I have searched for AS meetings in my area. I will be taking that first step on Thursday evening. It's a women's group so it's less intimidating. I'm just really scared. My boyfriend wants me to get my life straight and get control over everything. I'm going through a divorce, my kids will be living with my ex, I'm unemployed, I had to go through all my stuff and sell at a yard sale, and I will have no place to live come July. So needless to say this has made me emotionally and psychologically unsteady. Which is why I chose to drink. Drink my problems away, but that is stupid to think that way....drinking only makes things worse. I get nasty when I'm drunk, and it hurts the people that care about me, and it's hard for them to forgive me. So here I am, trying to pick up the pieces and get my life straight.
Thank you all for understanding and sharing. I look forward to chatting with you all.
Thank you all for understanding and sharing. I look forward to chatting with you all.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Hi Cheshire, welcome!
I think that hitting the women's meeting is a great idea. Also, keep posting here. If you dive into the program, you can learn how to handle your life without drinking and it really does work.
I think that hitting the women's meeting is a great idea. Also, keep posting here. If you dive into the program, you can learn how to handle your life without drinking and it really does work.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
hi cheshire
i went to aa in my early 20s with exactly the same problems you seem to be having
i would only drink at weekends so i wasnt an alcholic
but when i drank i got into all sorts of trouble because i would drink and drink and drink and not stop until i was totaly smashed
when i went to aa i didnt like the idea of not drinking again i just wanted them to show me how i could drink and not get into the trouble i was getting into
i then found out what an alcoholic is and i am an alcoholic
they told me dont pick up the first drink and i can not get drunk and misbehave like i was doing
i would tell them that it wasnt the frist drink that was my problem it was more like the 10 th drink
if only i could drink and not get to number 10 or more my drinking would be fine
the fact is i am an alcoholic and i can not control drink once i take a drink sure i can do it at times when i force myself to but its not very enjoyable and its mental torture
but my natural state is to take that first drink feel that buzz and then want more and more and more
so i know now what damage picking up that first drink will do to me it will set off that craving
and when i am drunk i could do all sorts of horriable things and then feel scared and full or remorse the next day wishing i never got drunk last night, if indeed i could remember what i had done : (
aa way my way out of it
i went to aa in my early 20s with exactly the same problems you seem to be having
i would only drink at weekends so i wasnt an alcholic
but when i drank i got into all sorts of trouble because i would drink and drink and drink and not stop until i was totaly smashed
when i went to aa i didnt like the idea of not drinking again i just wanted them to show me how i could drink and not get into the trouble i was getting into
i then found out what an alcoholic is and i am an alcoholic
they told me dont pick up the first drink and i can not get drunk and misbehave like i was doing
i would tell them that it wasnt the frist drink that was my problem it was more like the 10 th drink
if only i could drink and not get to number 10 or more my drinking would be fine
the fact is i am an alcoholic and i can not control drink once i take a drink sure i can do it at times when i force myself to but its not very enjoyable and its mental torture
but my natural state is to take that first drink feel that buzz and then want more and more and more
so i know now what damage picking up that first drink will do to me it will set off that craving
and when i am drunk i could do all sorts of horriable things and then feel scared and full or remorse the next day wishing i never got drunk last night, if indeed i could remember what i had done : (
aa way my way out of it
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