Mountainmanbob

a Lady friend in AA that had close to 5 years sober recently relapsed
her husband was also in the Program
they went out and drank together
she's back in AA

I also see it all so often on this site
reminds me of me (in my past)
for too many times after getting sober
I returned to the liquid devil
and deceived myself yet once again
into thinking that I could drink like a normal person
but
these vain attempts were
always followed by a still worst relapse

I guess the key here if we don't die out there drinking

is to keep coming back

we must (if alcoholic) never give up on the thought of sobriety
it may be a long road getting there
there may be for some of us many ups and downs
but
most Recovered drunks in time
are at total peace with their sobriety
and would trade it for nothing in the world

Mountainman

ScottFromWI

That's what keeps me coming back to SR each and every day - the notion that i could easily be one of the ones who drops off, in fact the odds are in favor of that happening. Makes me appreciate it and realize the work I must do each and every day.

SoberLeigh

Me too. The thought of relapse scares the living daylights out of me.

Mountainmanbob

me too
for as I stated above my relapses
given a little time back in the bottle
were
always followed by a still worst relapse

things that I had only heard about shared by others
we call those -- yets -- haven't happened to me yet
were happening to me

such as I heard many share about blackouts
I thought to myself
I have never had those
well later on in life after many relapses
I was blacking out and doing even more crazy things than before

what seems to work the very best for us drunks is total abstinence

it is a good life today -- if I (we) don't mess this (being sober) thing up

Mountainman

SoberLeigh

Nothing but total abstinence for me; moderation never, ever, ever worked. I'll never be a "normie".

Let's keep working it; I know I can never let my guard down.

zjw

I heard someone say about quiting smokeing never give up trying sooner or later it'll stick. Same thing with quiting drinking never stop trying to quit sooner or later it'll stick.

I'm always pondering a relapse these days. Kinda scares me that i purposely think of doing it. I got a LOT of reasons not too but i feel like i'm just one stupid moment away from it sometimes.

huntingtontx

I sometimes think about just having one drink. Then I come here and read the relapse stories, and I know that in not gonna happen. I don't think I would stay sober without SR

SoberLeigh

SR has been a life-line for me, too, huntingtontx.

Sudz No More

The chronic nature of it demands we keep tabs on it or else the chronic nature takes over. It's not something I thought would occur when I was drinking all those years. I was sure I would just pick a day and determined, I would stop for good. I had no idea I would be mentally tormented for months and a year and a half after my last drink I still get impulses. Yet it is understanding that dormant mechanism in myself that keeps me sober, lest I forget and find myself down that dark alley I tried to climb out of for so long.

Awareness of our affliction is the biggest thing we must attain if we ever want to stay truly sober.

Mountainmanbob

I agree with that statement Sudz No More

I try to keep in study regarding alcoholism and Recovery from the liquid devil
amazing how much there is to learn

I consider (drunkenness) a very complicated sin
which I need not repeat today

Mountainman

Mountainmanbob

I also truly enjoy this site
helps to keep me fresh in my Recovery coming here daily

after all
I drank daily

Mountainman

karate

One beer? .............Yeah right .

That always works real good for me

Mountainmanbob

me too
for about 2 minutes

right with you karate

Mountainman

Mountainmanbob

I was at my home group AA meeting yesterday and a Lady that I have known for years went back out again and announced herself as a new comer. She doesn't look well. I believe that there is a devil and he wants us to relapse so as to have his way with us.

Today if the thought of drinking should arise we will turn and flee from that thought ASAP. To not entertain the thought is of most importance. As we remember touching the hot stove when we were young. How many times must one do that (getting burned) before learning that it hurts ?

MB

Gottalife

Strange as it may seem, it hasn't occurred to me to drink for many years. The problem was removed. The concept of being constantly reminded of what might happen to me if I drink does not make any sense to me as a prop to sobriety. My memory was never able to protect me. I couldn't even use my own memories of even a few hours ago as a defense, much less remember someone elses sad tale. For me, memory of the consequences was totally useless defense against the first drink.

I come here, and am active in AA because I had something of a change of personality in the recovery path I took. What might have been a dreary, forced daily discipline of not drinking (which I know I would not have been able to sustain) has turned out to be a rewarding way of life.

It feels good to come here and try and contribute some hope and experience, as it does in the meetings. It is a pleasure, as Dr Bob once said, and it feels absolutely wonderful when occasionally someone lets me know that something I was able to share was a help to them.

When someone slips, it can be a tragedy, and it can also be a turning point for them. Sometimes they go on to make an excellent recovery, having dealt with any delusions, other times they don't make it back. As a wise preist once said, in these circumstances look, but don't judge. I look and I wonder why it is they didn't get what I got, and more often than not, the answer is that they didn't do what I did.

I suppose it could be a reminder to keep doing what I am doing, because the same fate awaits me should I ever pick up a drink. But that type of fear motive doesn't drive me. It is just my natural way to live this new way of life. It is not forced.

Mountainmanbob

My Sponsor says this often
and I have picked it up

"by the grace of God there go I"

For me it works in many different areas.

Bob

ru12

I have nothing but compassion for the still suffering alcoholic. I'm wish I could just reach out and somehow get them to stop. I too wonder why I finally stopped and stay stopped while so many keep picking it back up. I know that I have fundamentally changed how I view alcohol. I thank Allen Carr for that. It isn't hard at all not to drink something that you see no value in whatsoever. At least that is how it worked for me. As I hear AAs says my problem has been removed. And I am so grateful to keep waking up sober.

kittycat3

Sorry to hear that MM, always sad to see someone with so much sobriety have a slip. Glad she is back, I hope her husband comes back soon too.

Mountainmanbob

Thank you kittycat
Saw this Lady at an AA meeting yesterday
and she is trying to get to that 30 day mark again.
So, she is still introducing herself as one with less than 30 days.
I have been to that point in time more than once.
Crawling back into AA with my tail between my legs
spun out from being back out there drinking yet again
and announcing myself as one with less than 30 days of sobriety.
In a way it is a good humbling experience.

Bob

JeffreyAK

I was out of town last week, a couple thousand miles from home, having a Cinco de Mayo lunch with people I just met and will be working with this summer - and who of course know nothing about my drinking history. The first pitcher of margaritas went down, then the second, and no thanks I'll have a coke worked fine, but when they all ordered shots of tequila to finish it off there came peer pressure, "Aww, here, we'll get you a sprite to chase it, you'll be fine".

Of course the reptile was ready, "No one will know, you need to drink a shot to fit in with your colleagues here, it's a business lunch, just this one....", but the voice was faint and the response was immediate and strong: "No, thank you, I never drink alcohol". Years ago this situation would have seriously shaken me, if not led to me drinking, but now it just becomes a reason to reflect on all the reasons I said "No, thank you", and makes me even stronger for the next time something like that happens.

I wouldn't trade sobriety for anything in the world, and coming here and staying engaged in recovery world in other ways keeps that fresh in my mind.