caboblanco

Did you find true peace in sobriety? How long did it take? Did you have to set up boundaries with people or enviroments? Have you become more solitary or socially active? How did you find your peace? Is it true inner peace or is it temporary and fleeting? Do you think you would have found this if you never experienced addiction?

my peace is coming back. I find I can't be bothered with social things i did in the past. i went to a big diner tonight. There were people from 15-20 years ago i knew. To tell you the truth I rather go to a room full of strangers. Catching

up on old stuff isn't really my cup of tea. i didn't care for most of these people years ago..so why should i want to see them now....anyway my piece of mind includes avoiding things like this for now on....just saying no for myself..

Dee74

I think my peace and serenity came with rediscovering who I was, fixing those things I could fix, and then accepting the rest.

I also connected with my spirituality again, and I gave my life some meaning and purpose again.

If I'm not being specific it's because I think peace and serenity means different things to each of us.

I still have bad days, I still get upset and sometimes upset others, I still sometimes fail my standards...but I have a base level of 'everything's ok'...and that's the difference cos I never had that before

D

LadyBlue0527

I think that peace first came when I made the decision to quit. What multiplied the feeling was each time that I was having a hard time and bit my lip or whatever I needed to do to make it through and it worked. I was amazed that indeed, this really can be done. With that came true peace.

MIRecovery

Peace came and comes as I slowly rebuild my life into what it should have been all along. God promises to change me so slowly I will hardly notice it happening but when I look backwards I am not the person I was

Kaneda8888

I discovered spirituality in sobriety. That was the missing piece for me. I am gradually discovering serenity through this path. I believe its an ongoing process which may take a life time ! Yes, I am more solitary in that I do prefer my own company at times but I don't isolate. I am present for my family at all times.

leviathan

god. i was putting so very much energy into looking normal, keeping the lies afloat, and faking smiles while hung over and remorseful.

with the removal of those things alone (there are more), i feel like i have much more peace. -and freedom!

*freedom to enjoy things in the morning. mornings used to be something i had to endure.

*freedom from emergency liquor store drives. with me and friends helping each other rationalize who might be under legal limit (none of us).

*freedom from my own mouth. 99 out of 100 times i opened my mouth and mortally embarrassed myself, there was a can of beer in my hand. it just doesnt happen very often now.

*freedom from retching in the shower. i dont think i want to welcome this one back soon.

*freedom to sleep deeply, and have dreams again. i enjoy my dreams, and often remember them. i am often in awe of my nightime imagination. when drinking, sleep was unfulfilling, and i awoke tired. no dreams.

*freedom from CRIPPLING anxiety attacks. i rationallized that the alcohol helped. i used my anx. for an excuse to hitthe booze hard. they went away. they just went away... i spent over two grand for a psych doctor, and also commuted to get there. he never could fix me, and i never could tell him that i was hung over for most of the sessions.

*freedom from feeling like i could pass out at ANY second. while other people were enjoying awesome breakfasts around me, vacations had me scraping through, just trying not to lose it or puke in my omelette.

*freedom from wondering exactly what did i say/do? when some stranger says "so...how YOU feelin this morning?", with a sly little smirk. i so used to want to just slap these nimrods.- i used to find myself dying to know what transpired, but was too ashamed to ask (especially the spouse).

*freedom from random, sometimes distressing digestive ailments. -NUFF SAID

*freedom to encourage the kids not to pollute their bodies without feeling like a total sham.

*freedom from my hangover wasteland- a stinky, shaky,barren desert that has stolen many precious days from me.

*freedom to care for others. this is different than acting like i care.

*freedom from remembering all of my important lies and stories.-and how bout all those stashed plastic vodkas!? crap, my great grandkid will probably find one of those in 2040. -hope they dont have The Problem.

jason2

This is a very good post. I'm sure the answer to such a question may be different for nearly every person. Boundaries were very important to me. I basically had to redefine who I was and how I wanted to live. One of the first things I did right out the door "literally" was get rid of the cat. I needed to live in a pet free environment.

GracieLou

Yes. I had it from the first day I quit but it has gotten stronger the longer I am sober. I like simple and peaceful. When I have difficulties and I feel my serenity slipping I also feel I am less peaceful.

Getting active and back on course helps me regain it.


As I said I had it when I surrendered but I have to always work on it. If I let myself slip into negative thoughts then I can feel it leaving. I don't have to work on my peace, I have to work on me and my life. As long as continue to move forward then the level of peace I have will mirror what I am doing in my life.

Yes and I am learning how to do that now. I never had boundaries before. Not for me and not for others. This is new to me and is taking time. I have to make sure I am not stepping on others or allowing others to step on me.

I always preferred isolation and at times I am still drawn to it. Being alone all day at home does not bother me in the least but I know to remain sober I cannot do that. I have to get out to AA meetings. I have to pick up the phone and talk to people.

Today I have to be honest why I am doing it. It is because I am just tired and want a day to myself or am I hiding. When I answer that honestly then I can take action or I can sit back and be a couch tater all day.


That is an interesting question and one I can't answer. I have drank for most of my life. It was all I ever knew. I have been around people and in fact am living with one right now that does now know peace. They are not an addict or an alcoholic. I think peace comes with change, no matter who you are.

No action, no change, no peace. That is how I picture it. I think many people can find peace but I can't sit around hoping it will just show up one day. I have to continue to work and thrive for it.

I completely understand not wanting to socialize with people from your past. I feel the same. They hold no place for me now. I have to be honest and do what is right for me, not for others, if I want to maintain my sobriety, serenity and peace.

SunnyMe

My peace took me years to find, but that was because I wasn't fully ready to stop drinking or living by my own rules (which were killing me). Once I surrendered to God--then came the peace.

Then I lost it when I stopped working the program and took back control. It took some painful lessons to get back (though by some miracle I didn't drink).

I've always been super social, but it definitely looks different than it did 20 years ago. I'm not a big reunion fan either.

Great thread.

Gottalife

When I think about it, peace came from working the 12 steps, and the ability to stay sober permanently comes from the peace. I'm at peace with myself and the world around me, and my new relationship with the God of my understanding has made it all possible.

On your last point, if you read Wlliam James, Varieties of Religious Experience, written well before AA came into being (and very heavy going) it is clear that many if not all his subjects are non alcoholic and of good standing, yet some crisis in their life brought about a spiritual/religious experience which completely changed their outlook on life and brought on a new, peaceful and more meaningful existence. They were reborn so to speak.

So it appears you do not need to be an addict to have these wonderful experiences, or to find inner peace.

karate

I try to protect my peace ,with a lot of effort .

People will steal your peace -if allowed .

FBL

Did you find true peace in sobriety?

Yep.