amyjade

First of all, I'm not an alcohol, but I do binge drink. I'm 21 and I've been like this since I first drank at the age of 15. I don't drink often.. I work full time so I only drink 2 or 3 times per month, but when I do, I drink alot. I have social anxiety problems and the thought of turning up at a work night out or at a friends family party sober scares me. I've arrived at every work night out already drunk and now my boss is saying he's worried about me. I'm a very shy person and I normally avoid social situations so it's the only way I can cope. About a month ago, I turned up at a work night out pretty drunk, and after a couple of hours of drinking double vodka and cokes I ended up losing my bag, money and bank card so I had to go straight home. Last weekend, a few people from work invited me to the pub and I drank quite abit before I arrived and everyone could tell. Then I ended up having an argument with the bar manager and I had to leave. And in the next pub they refused to serve me. It's so embarrassing and I feel really bad. I want to be able to go out and drink like everyone else does but it just doesn't seem possible. I'm super self conscious and drinking is the only thing that helps me to relax. So I was wondering, is there anything I can do which will enable me to drink like a normal person? Or should I just avoid drinking altogether?

Dee74

Whether you want to wear the label of alcoholic or not your drinking is clearly causing you some big problems Amyjade.

There are other ways to relax, and there are ways to socialise that don't need alcohol.

You're going to have to accept a need for change in your life tho.

I was terrified of that, but it's worked out brilliantly for me - I hope you'll stick around.

D

gettingbetter64

I'm almost 22 and I can relate with the social anxiety problems and the binge drinking. I've used alcohol numerous times to help calm me down so I'd be more comfortable around people. I binged drank from 18-21 years old almost every night. My social anxiety only got worse because I was dependent on a drug to keep me calm. I don't think anything good comes from alcohol but it is obviously your choice weather to continue to drink or not. I can't tell you how many times I've been embarrassed because of my drinking I once got really drunk with a work friend and made a complete ass of myself. Exercising helps my anxiety and running my hands under cool water. Take care, regardless of your choice you will find a lot of support here

amyjade

Thanks for the advice I've been thinking about it all day.. I feel like I should stop completely, but then that'd mean avoiding social situations completely. I couldn't go to parties, nights out with friends/colleagues or anything like that. When my work colleagues go out in the day - bowling, resturaunts ect, I always avoid going because I know I can't turn up to these events drunk. But I can't turn up sober either cause I get too anxious. I'm off work this week and last night I went to a friends birthday and spent £140 in 8 hours. (more than I can afford, I'm on min wage).. not just on myself. I was buying drinks for other people too. I didn't even realise I spent so much until I checked before.

gettingbetter64

Have you ever thought about going on a walk with a friend? Then slowly trying to do other things with friends that don't involve alcohol. Counting to binge drink over time will get a lot worse.

anykey

I am 50 and I find it really sad that our young people - binge drink.

I was hoping your generation could fix the world that we messed up.

SonomaGal

Do you have a close enough relationship with any of your coworkers where you could tell them that you'd like to go with them to an event? Even better can you bring a trusted friend, and confide that you want to stay sober and need support for your social anxiety. Binge drinking is something to be concerned about, so good work on admitting you want to change this before it becomes a bigger problem.

GetSmart

another binger here, over twice your age. always the life of the party. I wish I had the clarity you seem to have when I was younger, but it is clear that I never have been able to drink normally and it has gotten me into trouble. It's funny, though, how it comes up in threads so often, feeling self-consciousness of not drinking while others do, but really, not everyone drinks and many of my friends have not pressured me to drink--and certainly once they've had a few they tend to forget me not drinking as they continue on; maybe an offer of a shot or something, but usually by that point, I can see how they are deteriorating and it actually makes it easier for me, cause I don't want to be that stupid (conversations do tend to get pretty lame, though)

Lkl2252

Hey there,

Maybe seeking help for the social anxiety to learn ways that work for you to feel more comfortable? Going to a therapist to give you tips and help build skills. As mentioned above, maybe talking baby steps and slowly doing more socially sober, but starting with just one close co worker for lunch or dinner then working toward larger social situations.

I too am not sure if I am an alcoholic or not. I relate to many stories of those who are, and I also relate to your stories as well. I didn't binge drink to feel more comfortable, but rather to push deeper away the things that were bothering me. Trust me, I've been kicked out of several bars, broken a hand, and had police get involved several times from being a drunken mess. Very embarrassing. Maybe think about what would be worse for you, the thought of being shy and quite around your co-workers, or the thought of being so drunk that you embarrass yourself in front of them? You are around them all day not drunk, so you are able to be around them sober. Just remember that.

I am young too, and totally understand how difficult it can be when everyone else is grabbing a drink after work. I stick to seltzer these days!

Best of luck..!

LBrain

Lots of good input from your peers there amyjade. What do you think?

It WILL get worse if you don't stop it while you can.