What is drinking in moderation vs. alcoholism?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 26
What is drinking in moderation vs. alcoholism?
Specifically for a woman. I've looked this up online and I get different things. It says a woman can drink 1 beer per day basically. So does that mean if you don't drink during the week, you can drink 7 drinks on the weekend and not be an alcoholic?
I can't figure out if I am a moderate drinker or an alcoholic. I've been drinking for 10 years. Sometimes I binge drink on the weekends. I used to drink hard liquor at parties but that did not do well with my stomach so I switched to beer about 3 years ago. I can slam 5 beers on a good night and keep going. Some weekends I'll just drink 3 beers in a night and chill. But I have been drinking every weekend for I can't remember how long. I can't remember the last weekend I went without drinking. Some week days I would have 1 beer or glass of wine a night with dinner...or I would drink a tall boy and get buzzed and just pass out. I mostly drank on the weekends only. It only takes me 3-4 beers to get drunk though. I have drank in the past to deal with problems. Such as, if something didn't go my way or I was depressed about something, I would buy a 6-pack and drink that for dinner and wallow in my misery until I passed out.
I did have a few withdrawal symptoms when I quit 4 weeks ago, and still feel weird being sober all the time and have been having anxiety and depression. So am I an alcoholic? Or just a moderate drinker who goes too far sometimes? Sorry if this is a stupid question...
I can't figure out if I am a moderate drinker or an alcoholic. I've been drinking for 10 years. Sometimes I binge drink on the weekends. I used to drink hard liquor at parties but that did not do well with my stomach so I switched to beer about 3 years ago. I can slam 5 beers on a good night and keep going. Some weekends I'll just drink 3 beers in a night and chill. But I have been drinking every weekend for I can't remember how long. I can't remember the last weekend I went without drinking. Some week days I would have 1 beer or glass of wine a night with dinner...or I would drink a tall boy and get buzzed and just pass out. I mostly drank on the weekends only. It only takes me 3-4 beers to get drunk though. I have drank in the past to deal with problems. Such as, if something didn't go my way or I was depressed about something, I would buy a 6-pack and drink that for dinner and wallow in my misery until I passed out.
I did have a few withdrawal symptoms when I quit 4 weeks ago, and still feel weird being sober all the time and have been having anxiety and depression. So am I an alcoholic? Or just a moderate drinker who goes too far sometimes? Sorry if this is a stupid question...
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It's really up to you decide,but to me the difference is that Alcoholics cannot control how much they drink once they start. They drink more than they plan to, and more often then the plan on.
Those who are not alcoholics really don't even need to consider what the definition of "Moderation" is - it simply happens. If you have to think about it that tells you something right there.
Those who are not alcoholics really don't even need to consider what the definition of "Moderation" is - it simply happens. If you have to think about it that tells you something right there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome to SR, angelwithoutgod!
That seven drinks a week/one a day for a woman thing - it's more about how much your poor body can handle healthfully.
If you are having a problem with drinking, it doesn't matter what you call yourself, you are here and you are questioning your own pattern of behavior.
Let me just say, people who are not alcoholics aren't Googling the safe number of drinks, nor are they spending any time worrying about how much they are drinking. They don't usually post on an alcoholism forum, either.
Only you can decide if you have a problem or not.
I hope you find God again.
That seven drinks a week/one a day for a woman thing - it's more about how much your poor body can handle healthfully.
If you are having a problem with drinking, it doesn't matter what you call yourself, you are here and you are questioning your own pattern of behavior.
Let me just say, people who are not alcoholics aren't Googling the safe number of drinks, nor are they spending any time worrying about how much they are drinking. They don't usually post on an alcoholism forum, either.
Only you can decide if you have a problem or not.
I hope you find God again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Saudi Arabia
Posts: 476
Hi angel a very good question, I believe that if you have a physical craving for the drink then your body has built up a tolerance and you are an alcoholic, I would consider myself an alcoholic as when i was drinking I would binge and get wasted regularly and die of the most horrific hangovers then suffer from paws, post alcohol withdrawal syndrome so much so that i nearly could not function, i quit before i killed myself and hope i can remain sober, just 31 days now and still suffering from withdrawal and shakes, insomnia headaches, fatigue and generally feeling terrible, not worth the agony so quit. sorry for rambling but to cut to the chase ,,, if you crave alcohol to get relief from the above i think you are an alcoholic, that's what i think anyway
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Labels like "alcoholic" aren't necessarily helpful in these situations IMO. That's for you to decide.
Can you stop drinking when you plan to stop or want to stop? Forgetting about health issues for the moment, do you experience consequences such as drunk driving, fighting while drunk, behaving sexually in a way you wouldn't while sober, using other substances like weed etc. because of your drinking?
The issue comes down to the ability to control you're drinking. You have to honestly ask yourself if you can control your drinking and if you're dealing with consequences because of your drinking. If you can't control your drinking and if you have problems because of your drinking, it's time to seriously consider stopping because the drinking problem will probably only get worse, not better.
Can you stop drinking when you plan to stop or want to stop? Forgetting about health issues for the moment, do you experience consequences such as drunk driving, fighting while drunk, behaving sexually in a way you wouldn't while sober, using other substances like weed etc. because of your drinking?
The issue comes down to the ability to control you're drinking. You have to honestly ask yourself if you can control your drinking and if you're dealing with consequences because of your drinking. If you can't control your drinking and if you have problems because of your drinking, it's time to seriously consider stopping because the drinking problem will probably only get worse, not better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 122
I don't know if you're an alcoholic, thats up to you.
How I knew I was an alcoholic:
I couldn't leave a beer on the bar (or anywhere) half drank. I had to finish it.
If I opened a box of beer, I had to drink it all.
If there was a snow storm coming, I worried more about having enough booze as opposed to having enough food.
If I was having a bad day, a drink would cure it, if I was having a good day, I had to celebrate with getting drunk.
I would get upset about things when I was drunk and wake up the next morning and wonder why I was so mad about that issue.
I would plan my day\week around what to do so I could get drunk.
Those are just a few of the things I did that I knew I was a drunk.
I'm so glad I'm sober now. It took me a long time to reach serenity, but thats because I didn't realize that boredom looks a lot like serenity.
How I knew I was an alcoholic:
I couldn't leave a beer on the bar (or anywhere) half drank. I had to finish it.
If I opened a box of beer, I had to drink it all.
If there was a snow storm coming, I worried more about having enough booze as opposed to having enough food.
If I was having a bad day, a drink would cure it, if I was having a good day, I had to celebrate with getting drunk.
I would get upset about things when I was drunk and wake up the next morning and wonder why I was so mad about that issue.
I would plan my day\week around what to do so I could get drunk.
Those are just a few of the things I did that I knew I was a drunk.
I'm so glad I'm sober now. It took me a long time to reach serenity, but thats because I didn't realize that boredom looks a lot like serenity.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
You're right to ask yourself the question.
I think the first thing to determine if whether drinking is causing you problems. Its important to recognise if you are creating problems for yourself or others through behaviour that's fuelled from alcohol.
For example: do you say things to people you regret, or drive drunk, or end up in some drunken self-loathing state of mind? when you drink, do you always drink to get smashed?
These are typical signs.
If you feel you are having problems caused by drinking, the next obvious thing to do is to cut down on your drinking so you have less problems. The question then is... Can you cut down?
If you cant cut down easily and the drink is causing you problems, then yes, you probably have a drink "problem".
If your drinking is not causing you problems and you are not always drinking to get smashed, then its likely your still within normal drinking use.
Others may have a different idea of how it works, but that's my general feeling.
I think the first thing to determine if whether drinking is causing you problems. Its important to recognise if you are creating problems for yourself or others through behaviour that's fuelled from alcohol.
For example: do you say things to people you regret, or drive drunk, or end up in some drunken self-loathing state of mind? when you drink, do you always drink to get smashed?
These are typical signs.
If you feel you are having problems caused by drinking, the next obvious thing to do is to cut down on your drinking so you have less problems. The question then is... Can you cut down?
If you cant cut down easily and the drink is causing you problems, then yes, you probably have a drink "problem".
If your drinking is not causing you problems and you are not always drinking to get smashed, then its likely your still within normal drinking use.
Others may have a different idea of how it works, but that's my general feeling.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
From what you've written, you sound like a heavy drinker who occasionally manages to moderate. And it also sounds like you cling to those few occasions of moderate drinking and call it the norm.
I think if you can accept that your drinking was causing you problems and that the wish of "normal" drinking is a illusion, you will be able to accept sobriety as the new norm.
Originally Posted by angelwithoutgod 
So am I an alcoholic? Or just a moderate drinker who goes too far sometimes?
I think if you can accept that your drinking was causing you problems and that the wish of "normal" drinking is a illusion, you will be able to accept sobriety as the new norm.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Government guidelines are clear and can be easily googled. No, it does not mean you can save up the seven beers and drink them all at once and still be consider a moderate drinker. Drinking over the amount outlined as moderate in any one drinking session is considered binge drinking.
But that's here nor there really. What does it matter what the guidelines say? Something about your drinking is troubling to you or to your loved ones. That's what you need to look at.
But that's here nor there really. What does it matter what the guidelines say? Something about your drinking is troubling to you or to your loved ones. That's what you need to look at.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
If it's not a problem, skip it for 6 months to a year and see how you feel.
If you find you can't skip it for this long, rethink whether or not it's a problem for you.
Like others said, only you can decide if it's a problem or not!
If you find you can't skip it for this long, rethink whether or not it's a problem for you.
Like others said, only you can decide if it's a problem or not!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome angelwithoutgod 
Like others have said - no you can't save the drinks up - thats alcoholic thinking right there
I struggled with the label for years too...alcoholic? hard drinker? problem drinker? self medicator?
The fact is I nearly killed myself with my drinking. It had to stop. Things are better now sober
If you drank for years it's very normal to feel 'weird' once you stop. Anxiety and depression are common too, for a while.
These things can get better on their own sometimes, but if you're concerned why not see your Dr?
D
Like others have said - no you can't save the drinks up - thats alcoholic thinking right there
I struggled with the label for years too...alcoholic? hard drinker? problem drinker? self medicator?
The fact is I nearly killed myself with my drinking. It had to stop. Things are better now sober
If you drank for years it's very normal to feel 'weird' once you stop. Anxiety and depression are common too, for a while.
These things can get better on their own sometimes, but if you're concerned why not see your Dr?
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi and welcome angelwithoutgod
Like others have said - no you can't save the drinks up - thats alcoholic thinking right there
I struggled with the label for years too...alcoholic? hard drinker? problem drinker? self medicator?
The fact is I nearly killed myself with my drinking. It had to stop. Things are better now sober
Like others have said - no you can't save the drinks up - thats alcoholic thinking right there
I struggled with the label for years too...alcoholic? hard drinker? problem drinker? self medicator?
The fact is I nearly killed myself with my drinking. It had to stop. Things are better now sober
Given the sheer amount of posts (80k+!!) i would have to sift thru, i thought i would just ask instead - much easier
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 322
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
It's really up to you decide,but to me the difference is that Alcoholics cannot control how much they drink once they start. They drink more than they plan to, and more often then the plan on.
Those who are not alcoholics really don't even need to consider what the definition of "Moderation" is - it simply happens. If you have to think about it that tells you something right there.
Those who are not alcoholics really don't even need to consider what the definition of "Moderation" is - it simply happens. If you have to think about it that tells you something right there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by grubby
Wow, almost died? Just out of curiosity, how much booze (estimate) we talking per day and how long of a period of drinking?? Since im fairly new i still dont know a lot of details around here.
Given the sheer amount of posts (80k+!!) i would have to sift thru, i thought i would just ask instead - much easier
Given the sheer amount of posts (80k+!!) i would have to sift thru, i thought i would just ask instead - much easier
I nearly died because my motor skills were shot...I hit my head hard three different times in 24 hours...ended up stroking out.
it's worth remembering liver diseases etc aren't the only way we can go out....
D
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Eau Claire, WI
Posts: 88
Angel,
You might have to decide for yourself what moderation is. Although, I don't think that the moderation-drinks accumulate through the week. Each one expires after a 24 hour period. Also, 'alcoholic' isn't something that can be diagnosed. It's more of a self diagnosis. Your'e the one in control. You have to decide what is best for you Angel.
Hope you have a good rest of the day.
You might have to decide for yourself what moderation is. Although, I don't think that the moderation-drinks accumulate through the week. Each one expires after a 24 hour period. Also, 'alcoholic' isn't something that can be diagnosed. It's more of a self diagnosis. Your'e the one in control. You have to decide what is best for you Angel.
Hope you have a good rest of the day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I think if you can manage to drink to much you might have a problem.
if the thought of giving up drinking for good scares you or seems stupid or wtvr other excuse you can think of to not give it up for good concerns you you might have a problem.
If your posting on a site like this you might have a problem.
I have no idea what moderation is. I had a ton of might have a problem type things going on for years one day I realized yeah I guess i do have a problem.
But yeah I went through the same things many of times and thought naaaaaaaaaah not me. Then one day i was sitting a roudn a table at an AA meeting wondering how my life had ended up there.
So maybe you dont have a problem. But binge drinking isnt good problem or not it aint good. drinking is not good for you problem or not you cant refute that. Theres a lot of things that are not good for us but we choose to do them anyhow.
Some people wont smoke they will say its bad for them but have beers. whats the difference? Some people wont drink but will polish off 2 cheese burgers a large fries and 2 chocolate shakes. Whats the diff.
No matter bad choice your makeing its going to catch up to you sooner or later.
So problem or not whats the point of drinking? Its not good for you so why bother doing it? You can make excusees in your head oh well i just do it socialy or i just do it now and then or only binge once in a while thats fine. But whats the point? its not good for you why bother with it.
if the thought of giving up drinking for good scares you or seems stupid or wtvr other excuse you can think of to not give it up for good concerns you you might have a problem.
If your posting on a site like this you might have a problem.
I have no idea what moderation is. I had a ton of might have a problem type things going on for years one day I realized yeah I guess i do have a problem.
But yeah I went through the same things many of times and thought naaaaaaaaaah not me. Then one day i was sitting a roudn a table at an AA meeting wondering how my life had ended up there.
So maybe you dont have a problem. But binge drinking isnt good problem or not it aint good. drinking is not good for you problem or not you cant refute that. Theres a lot of things that are not good for us but we choose to do them anyhow.
Some people wont smoke they will say its bad for them but have beers. whats the difference? Some people wont drink but will polish off 2 cheese burgers a large fries and 2 chocolate shakes. Whats the diff.
No matter bad choice your makeing its going to catch up to you sooner or later.
So problem or not whats the point of drinking? Its not good for you so why bother doing it? You can make excusees in your head oh well i just do it socialy or i just do it now and then or only binge once in a while thats fine. But whats the point? its not good for you why bother with it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by karate
I actually can moderate 9 times out of 10 .
I think the correct translation for that is 'I can't moderate'
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-20-2014 at 09:48 PM.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
