PhaseTwo

When I would reach a milestone before there always was a big one for me to look forward to (one week, one month, three months, six months, one year.) Now there doesn't seem to be an important one to look forward to until 2 years. Damn.

Now it's more like were just gonna keep doin this thing one day at a time forever. It feels different though and I don't like it. Anyone run into this?

Cow

Well, is not like high of job promotion every day, it more of quiet daily celebration that you no still longer poisoning you self and you life. But that should be cause for positive feelings, yes? Is they maybe something else about you life, now that sobriety has make you picture clearer, that you not happy with?

Dee74

I dunno about anyone else Phase but any day alive and loving it is better than the alternative of what might have been for me.

I think being an alcoholic and being used to the instant gratification of the bottle can take some de-progamming - or at least some lateral thinking?


Today just feeling the sun on my face as I was hanging out washing was a reward of sorts - y'know?

D

PhaseTwo

I think I'm not happy with the repetiveness of my 9 to 5 job , and that there's not to much to do on the weekends in my small town. It's probably time to move or change somethin up.

You're right though Dee, I am probably still expecting some instant gratification. I think I had a bit of a delusion that by making it to one year it was gonna be all sunshine and daisys from there on out haha. Obviously no ones life's perfect. I'm certainly not throwin in the towel just doing some whining.

BarbieKen

Phase Two, I'm in AA. A wonderful benefit is seeing newcomers. I'm just 18 months sober myself, no old timer here. However, I love to talk to the newcomer and be of help if I can. It was so scary coming into meetings. I remember that feeling. It Is so true that when you work with fellow alcoholics the focus becomes them instead of ourselves. There are so many gifts of in your own sobriety, you being the first one! Share what you know and have, it's incredible!
. Bobbi

courage2

I know the feeling of nothing to look forward to, PhaseTwo. If all you have to motivate you is reaching a day-count or anniversary like it was something to win, eventually you'll reach for a drink instead, because it's closer, I think.

I'm trying to teach myself to look forward to different things than I used to -- buying fresh flowers (yes, cut ones, sorry Cow), reading a poem every day, cooking something just a little nicer than usual, taking a real coffee break instead of just sticking to my desk.

What can you do to make your sober life just a little bit richer?

PhaseTwo

I actually did go to an AA meeting on Sunday for the first time. There weren't any newcomers but it was good to here from a couple older guys who have been sober for over 30 years! I can't get on board with god thing personally but I just ignored that part.

And silent run you nailed it on the head. That's exactly how I viewed it. Something for me to win. I guess I just need to figure out a different approach to it

Johno1967

My first year was all about trying to get through the day without a drink and building a spiritual foundation. This second year has been about coming to grips with a lot of flaws in my character that led me to drink and acquiring a sense of emotional sobriety. Shoring up that foundation. No plan, just a progression. Set myself milestones I set myself up for disappointment. I just try to apply some basic principles and try to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. If I fail I try again the next day and learn from my mistakes. Tomorrow is an unknown. I can be fearful of it or accept what it brings and be grateful. So far so good. Better way to live.
"Recovery is not an event it is a process. The disease of addiction was a slow debilitating process causing self destruction, self absorption and no good purpose for our behavior. Recovery is the same slow process, in reverse" pocket sponsor, day 19, 7am.

flutter

I think for me, there was a shift along the way, maybe at a year or 2 years where I became more of a "non drinker" than someone actively trying to "not drink". After that passed, whatever it was, I let go a lot of the 'but what now?' thinking.. I totally understand what you're experiencing. I had a friend recently that quit smoking, and the way she framed it was great (and I think from a popular quit smoking book) about how it really helps to think of yourself (herself) as a non-smoker, not a smoker trying to quit.

karate

I just focus on the rest of my life ,and hope to move forward to better things ,and more positives .

Just not drinking alone ,While healthy .

Is not enough for the foundation of life to be built upon -imo

I need a little bit more excitement to keep life going .

Boleo

My mile-markers are peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose. Without them, weeks, months and years spent not-drinking would be arduous.

GracieLou

My worse day sober trumps any days that I spent drinking, hands down!

As I lay in bed at night I think about my day. That is something I was not even capable of before because I just passed out. I am grateful.

Sounds to me like you need to get active. If not in AA then on some volunteer work.

JustODAAT

I understand what you're saying. I used to have something daily to look forward to: getting drunk. I try to find other things to look forward to. Or to look forward to waking up not feeling sick.