Old 05-10-2014, 10:26 PM
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iam2antsy's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 93

i check in here every now & then & see...

Our records indicate that you haven't posted in a while. We want to hear what you have to say!

more & more i try not to drink ~ but it doesn't stick. but hey, a few days w/o drink are good right?

i feel so f'n lost. it's me myself & i. i'm self employed & that's failing (i have no control over the orders that are sent my way) so i may get out of the house a day out of the week.

i know i have to pick myself up by myself because i've tried to reach out to my sisters & ...not even close enough for any moral support.

and sad but true, i have no friends.

how do you do it by your self?

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Old 05-10-2014, 10:33 PM
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Location: Australia
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Maybe posting here regularly could help Iam2antsy?

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Old 05-10-2014, 10:37 PM
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Hillbilly Girl
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Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hi Am - This is a great support here. We are all in this together here & that helps me not to feel alone in this. Is it possible for you to check in here often rather than once in awhile?
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Old 05-10-2014, 10:42 PM
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Adventures In SpaceTime
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Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Its difficult to be ourselves when we are lost within ourselves. At these times, my world outlook cycled from the world has what I want then this would fall apart and the next I hated life itself and wanting little part of it.

Being a few days sober is indeed a good thing. Well done.

Having no friends is a terrible burden of course. I've been there. It was difficult to come to terms with myself that if I wanted friends I first needed to be my own friend to myself, and then extend that to others. Here again, being lost doesn't make having friends any easier.

Perhaps its time to not be lost? Being unlost is doable. I was really gonzo myself. Very lost. Not anymore. You too can find yourself.

Can you do it alone? Yeah, you can. I decided helping myself and working with others was the best way forward for me finding myself.
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Old 05-11-2014, 01:41 AM
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12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
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Location: Thailand
Posts: 6,594
Can you do it alone? I don't know.

I know I had to be alone before I would do it. No friends, no family, no job, nowhere to live, health gone too. I became willing to pick up the phone and ask for help. My life was changed forever.

It seems the miserable circumstances in which I found my self were just right for launching a successful recovery. It really is darkest just before the dawn.
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Old 06-15-2016, 10:12 PM
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Location: UK
Posts: 6,901
I couldn't do it by myself. It took a while to swallow my pride and lean into my fear (because they were what was stopping me) and went and got honest, and got some help.
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Old 06-16-2016, 07:01 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I had to do it alone. I have many friends but I had to "shuffle the deck" to get/stay sober. Okay, throw the deck in the air and play "52 pick up" if I'm being honest! Now after four years it has stabilized and the people in my life are a part of my on going self rehabilitation or at least not a part of the decline and fall of Gaffo.

I had a couple of friends who quit around the same time as me but even they will admit that we all did it alone at the same time. There's really only room for you in your own head. For me the important thing was to have faith that it would get better and it has. Coming here frequently helped me immensely, Dee74 is right (and he usually is!).
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Old 06-16-2016, 07:17 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 414
Hi - When I'm not working, I am alone, except for my loving little dog, with no license. But, I have noticed that actually this aloneness time is helping me come to terms with myself and reconnect. If that makes any sense. At almost 5 months, some days seem quite dreary, but I remember how I was at the end of my drinking/pills and dreary seems pretty darn good, Coming to the site really helps me feel part of and I thank everyone for that!
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Old 06-16-2016, 10:59 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 273
I think you have to see your perceived lack of support and your problem with alcohol as two separate issues.

The key to making anything manageable is breaking it into smaller pieces that are easier to reason about. If a problem seems overwhelming, it's usually because it's made up of several smaller problems, which by themselves might be easier to deal with one at a time.

Once you can identify the smallest step to improving your life in some minor way, then it'll be more clear what you have to do. Doing things alone is difficult, but not impossible.

Specifically about support though: for most people it's a lot easier to support something positive than to support something depressing. If you say you're feeling like crud to someone, they're not necessarily going to know what to say, but if you say you've starting do x cool activity, then they'll probably say good for you and ask you questions about it to motivate you. We want to be able to cry 'help!' to people in our lives when we're feeling awful, but friends or no friends that's usually not effective. If it were, there'd be no such thing as psychologists !

edit: oh, the op post is very old. I wonder how things turned out.
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