newwestdork

I've had a drinking problem for most of my adult life, but I've been working on sobriety since last summer. Most of the time, the drinking was accompanied by smoking heavily. Since I've quit I've had some serious stress (life-threatening health problems for my wife) and while I haven't returned to the drinking like I did in the past, I've started up smoking again. Not only that, but I've gambled a fair amount of money away playing poker. Both things seem to have the the same compulsive feeling to them - guilt, swearing off them, going back after a few days, etc.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of cross-addiction thing? I feel like I am going to have to avoid anything that has the word "addictive" associated with it, with the possible exception of healthy addictions like exercise.

bigsombrero

Yep. I also gambled heavily during the end of my drinking days. When I quit drinking alcohol and gambling, I immediately started smoking cigarettes, and then began seeking out marijuana. I also ate ice cream every night. All of these were meant to be "temporary" things but they quickly became addictions. If I was out of weed, cigs, or ice cream I was in a foul mood and very anxious. Back in my college days I went through a phase of petty theft where I was stealing things I didn't even need or care for, it was simply that I could not stop my compulsion.

I've since quit all of those habits, and I approach things much more cautiously these days.

I think the key is to try and use your personality to find healthy habits. For me, I also really enjoy biking, swimming, and travel. I seek out opportunities to engage in those habits as much as I can, and I haven't hurt anyone or myself by indulging.

Edited to add: when I quit drinking it gave me confidence that I have control over myself. I sure hope you give everything you can to quit completely, it will probably help.

Stoogy

Hi NewWest, sorry to hear about your wife's health problems, I can only think that the smoking is perhaps a comfort or nervous thing as it has came at the same time as your wife's health issues.
I always look out for your posts, hope you are doing well buddy.

castlefan

I have an addictive personality - alcoholism helped me to recognize it and I try to use the same practices that made me give up drinking to getting a handle on my other addictions.

dollpart

I have an addictiev personality: alcohol, self-harm, not-eating. Stuff like that. And it's hard to recognise that in yourself, so... well done, I guess.

It's just what we do about it now that matters.

B

x

Mags1

Hi newwestdork, I too have an addictive personality, not smoking but shopping with me, whenever I'm sad or just plain feel sorry for myself, I shop. I am getting better, though.

Strangely enough, the healthy addictions haven't hit me yet, I have to make myself put a lot of effort into exercise.

Johno1967

I got sucked into a sugar addiction. Did not see that coming!
Apparently one of the most addictive substances out there. How does one avoid sugar!
Has made me realize that I have a physical / physiological / genetic and psychological propensity toward falling into addictive patterns of behavior and consumption.

Ifnotforgrace

Many Alcoholics find they have developed an addiction to sugar without even realizing it. All booze is loaded with sugar.

JMO but the root of all addiction (& everybody has one whether they realize it or not) is a spiritual void. We look for some way to fill it and if we do not fill it properly, we wind up with addiction to something in an attempt to remedy the void. Some substances are more addictive than others due to their physiological and neurological effects..just like nicotine or caffine, heroin or booze and yes John sugar

Johno1967

My Father was an alcoholic. Went on the wagon for 10 years and then picked it up again in order to get access to me and my brother. During his sober years he carried a lot of emotional baggage, anger, resentment and was very difficult to live with. I would say he was bi-polar.
As soon as he stopped drinking he picked up gambling and we lost everything. Moved around the country, slept in doss houses and he often sought charity so he could bet. He was a pathological liar and cheat.
I often wished he would stop gambling and start drinking again until the day I finished high school and walked out of home and into the Army.
I believe that it was his inability to find a spiritual solution that made him incapable of getting honest with himself and others. I never saw him again and learned that he died a couple of years ago as a lonely and skid row drunk.
Classic addictive personality.

karate

Everyone has an addaction , some are just harmful .

I know people that collect money and love money .

At least it wont give the cirrhosis .

yeahgr8

All you need to do is get help in whatever form you want to in order to tackle the problem you have that causes you to act out otherwise obviously it does not just go away.

Alternatively you can spend the x amount if years putting out fires going from one to the next.

Pipefish

Read on here a couple of months back that 'addiction can be like having five trash cans, but only four lids!!' Thanks to whoever I stole that from

Think it can be very true...I started with an eating disorder which was compulsive, discovered cannabis which I became a very heavy user of, and then (and only then!!) once I discovered alcohol, all bets were off. It was alcohol that got me into treatment and AA, but it that obsessiveness can slide into anything....even relationships

The one thing I have noticed however since making a proper (is that a loaded word? Possibly!! Never mind) commitment to living the principles of the 12 step programme is that, once I spot that slide into another behaviour, it gets, not easier to stop it exactly, but less 'comfortable' to continue doing it, if that makes sense...the easier, softer way is to actually take a look at what is driving it, and deal with that

Would say, right now, caffeine and nicotine, those are my two remainders, and as the lesser of evils, will take it steady with those right now....trying to stay sober, not get perfect

Best of to you NewestDork and you're definitely not alone

karate

I like to do a damage ability of my addactions .

Alochol - damage level HIGH , must be avoided first .

Tobacco -damage level ,at least mid level damage potential - next to abstain from .

If your addaction ,does not damage yourself or others ,its not a problem .

I know people obsessed with golf ,or fishing . Not likely to damage their lives psysically
Or mentally .

Fine line is - Hobby .to obsession .

BarbieKen

Addictions.

Aellyce

From the classic variety I've had eating disorders and alcoholism. Then a pretty serious mutually addictive interpersonal relationship with someone who has alcoholism (still active as far as I know) and other other "minor" addictions. The latter was not the classic co-dependent plot, it did not work that way - much more like alcohol and drug addiction, obsessed with each-other in a mutual and equal way (in many ways).

I have addressed these three in a sequence in my life but they were overlapping.

karate

Almost every person has an oddity , I noticed that .

People that collect things ,are of the same side of the brain as us .

They just somehow ,found a less harmful outlet .

I have seen people of non-alcoholic nature obsess about race cars ,to the point their family suffers .

Aellyce

I agree. Traveling also works for me like magic. I've lived in 4 different countries in my life, but finally feel happy at least as far as environment goes and no longer haunted, where I am currently.

But I really enjoy going on a trip ~every 2-3 months - be it business or recreational, or a combination of the two (I'd traveled that "combo way" lots in my life). I find it adds to my level of life satisfaction and to my general motivation quite a bit if I travel with this kind of regularity. Often just 2-3 days. Hurts no one except my bank account a bit if it's not a business trip.

In the physical activity department, I enjoy hiking a lot (can be combined with traveling), running, yoga, swimming. Each time I manage to stick with these physical activities, I find they have a better effect on me than probably any other "lifestyle method". I just often ignore or neglect. Will need to put more energy into not neglecting these.

karate

I knew people had trouble gambling ,so I never started .

Wish id known that about alcohol

Compass1

I have an addictive personality for sure. I want to quit drinking coffee. I drink it the same way that I'd binge drink alcohol. One cup, not enough. Two, three, four, five. I want to keeping "getting to the next level" and not letting the caffeine high wear off. These type of behaviors always backfire. I don't sleep well many nights, and I'm pretty sure that I'm depleting my body of nutrients by consuming so much liquid. I do this same thing when I eat ice cream, or even when I get on an exercising kick. I take everything to the extreme. At least some things are not as bad as alcohol.

MesaMan

Johno1967 hits it above with this:

'...Has made me realize that I have a physical / physiological / genetic and psychological propensity toward falling into addictive patterns of behavior and consumption.'

I'm hard wired to drink hard, so I don't pick up that first one anymore. Normies aren't hard wired this way. I don't sweat eliminating all addictions; just steering that Genetically-determined energy toward healthier interests. Rocker Alice Cooper quit his legendary Drinking for admittedly-obsessive Golf.

A Pal's Neighbor washed his gorgeous Corvette so much, he had to have it re-painted. Healthier than emptying 'Handles' of Booze, eh?

I have about as much 'choice' over what happens after that first Drink as I do over whether my Leg jerks if a Doc hits my Kneecap with a lil Hammer. I firmly believe that, at some level of Addiction in heavy use of anything, Chemistry and Psychology take over to make discussion of 'choice' in the matter a fine point of pedantic argument. As with so many here, I've chosen to skip all that and completely abstain w/o feeling like there's some grand void. I'm fair complected, and I sunburn. That's Genetics, too. My Knee doesn't jerk nor do I sunburn due to some grand void. Once the Genetic imperative is accepted, I find it easier to steer my addiction-prone focus toward the more positive. I pursue those interests obsessively, too. Read similar POVs above.

I recall that Thomas Edison tried thousands of things consecutively as Filament material when inventing the Light Bulb. That's positive obsessiveness, IMO. Most of us would have given it a rest long before...

Genetic predisposition needs no apologies; 'only' awareness, self-acceptance and management.