Katie88

I deluded myself into believing that I was a functioning alcoholic. Now, at the age of 29, it has completely ruined my life: my relationships, my appearance, my reputation, my career, my finances, my health, my dreams. Took about ten years. Not sure what I am going to do now. What scares me is that I blamed everything and everyone else for my unhappiness when there was really only one factor to blame.

Does anyone have any advice?

hawkhog

I feel u, I'm 30. I let my drinking take control for last 3 and a half years. I ruined countless relationships, great jobs, family relationships, trust, gained weight, psych wards, ER room trips etc. ive been sober for 40 days and i feel great. Its a battle every day but inch by inch im accomplishing alot. Was homeless from november last year to febuary. Got sober got a job...did more interviews got a better job. Live in a decent place... Now im moving to a nicer part of town next week. I do have cravings, but i never foeget my er trips, hearing the voices etc. i sleep better and feel 5 years younger. This is a good website to lean on. I promise if u keep sober things slowly get better.

Katie88

How did you get jobs after losing them? I'm thinking I can repair relationships and possibly my health, but not sure about how my behavior has impacted my professional reputation.

hawkhog

I had to really fight for it and be honest with myself. I relied on my wife thank god for her. I built a resume, would go to starbucks for internet to look for jobs online. Went to job interviews all day every day. Finally landed a job washing dishes. Worked there for a while and i worked my ass off. I used to have awesome jobs but i had to restart and work from the bottom. I went to look for more jobs and was sober long enough to have self respect and i knocked an interview outta thepark witj my current job. Relationships are still hard alot of ppl know me only as a alcoholic. I dont go around braggin about my soberiett but, people that really care are rooting for me smd starting to notice changes in me. I know its gonna take possibly years for me to earn trust again but it gives me something to motivate me.

Nevertheless

You are plenty young enough to turn things around. I didn't quit until I was almost 50. We can't change what happened in the past,but we can do something about the future. As long as we don't drink,things will fall into place.
One of my sayings,that I often say applies here.
"The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The next best time is today."
I don't know if you have tried AA or not. But one of the things AA helps with is healing the mental wounds that we get from drinking. You are not alone. There are many behind the AA doors that have been through this. For me being around people with the same problems I had was a big help.
I wish you the best....... Fred

boris

Im 29 also. Ive made such a mess of my finances ive had to consoladate debt. My other half does random alcohol testing. My mother doesnt trust me and im on my final warning at work.

Thats the bad side. The positive is that we can sort ourselves and will do it. Im rebuilding my life and you can too

i really hope you get there. Take care

Katie88

Thanks everyone. I just need hope that it can get better.

gaffo

You can do it! It's hard, of course, but it is so worth it! One day at a time it gets easier. There are many people ready to help you help yourself. SR rocks.

needtostopthis

I don't have any advice, wish I did, but I hear ya. I am 33 and for the past 5 years I have really done a number on myself and my relationships.All I can say is, Turn it around now, it only gets worse. When I was 28 I drank but not like I do now. I wish I would have wrangled it in back then. Sigh.

yeahgr8

Yeah go to AA, you will find they have a solution for you so you can turn your life around an brine the person you want to be.

LBrain

Hello Katie,

Welcome. As much as I hate this cliche, first things first. No need to worry about the future if there isn't going to be one. And by that I mean, until you get sober and are completely free of the poison you will always be stuck in it.
Take me for instance. I lost a 23 yr career. Tomorrow -yep that's right, TOMORROW- I have to start figuring out (taking action) what I am going to do for income, insurance etc.
I liken it to the line in 'Animal House', "Seven years of college down the drain." Well for me it's 23 years of a good job in a highly specialized career... DOWN THE DRAIN.
I wish I had the chance you now have. If I could go back 26 years and start over with the knowledge of alcohol I have now, I could be a superstar. You can too. Look over history of some of the greats who started in their later years. You have one heck of a head start on them. Do well my friend.

Persys

I'm 29 also and have faced most of the same types of losses and adversity due to drinking.

There is one part that does give me hope and may for you also: If you take action now you can be sober by the time you are 30 years old. We don't have to keep living our 30's with that anchor attached to us.

Heck, I know many people in our age group who are basically just starting out on their own (without even having a problem with alcohol). It is not too late to begin building a foundation of a good career and solid relationships.

matt4x4

All you got to blame is yourself. You can rebuild your life, and your ego if you choose. There is help.

What are you willing to do, to achieve sobriety?

Katie88

Anything...

FeenixxRising

You may not see it, but you're very young. My advice: don't beat yourself up, don't feel sorry for yourself. Understand that you are stronger than you believe you are, get sober, and start rebuilding your life. You have a lot of years ahead of you, and you can make those years the best years of your life.

Have you ever worked a program? AA, SMART, SOS or LifeRing? Do you have a plan of any sort to get and stay sober? A plan should be your first step.

indakut

Best advice: Get sober and start over. I started over 3 years ago at 43. Wish I could have done it sooner because these last 3 years have been amazing!!!! Good Luck!

1newcreation

It's never too late to start again! Me sayin that is the wonderful program of aa workin in me. Was actually thinking earlier today that its surprising to still be sober today. I lost evthg but clothes on my back. I've had difficulty getting good employment coz of background chks(apparently employers don't care even if its misdemeanors) but God provided 10 days ago & even if its not ideal, it works for now. Finally been drilled in my brain that the whiskey won't solve any of the messes I created. Used to be the king of self pity but learned can either be powerful of full of self pity but can't be both. I also took responsibility for my past & decided to move on. Mtgs are my one hr of peace so that's why love going to em. Twill be ok just hang on

BorntoHula

I read your original blog post from 2008. It's been on your mind a long time. I identified a lot with what you said about your college experience in the blog. I too drank to ease ill emotions and let myself get "loose". Didn't work out for me, I tried to convince myself many times that I could moderate and always would end up over doing it. Got the withdrawals, lost friendships and everything.. You owe it to yourself to try life without booze. Time will help. It takes patience in the beginning. Hang out with people who know and understand this issue and support a sober you. Even if its just on SR.

Quitting hasn't been easy for me the last 21 months but waking up in a safe place every morning, with a clear head and ready to face the day is priceless. The people who truly love you will come back to you in time. Can't change the past as we all know, best to make today an investment in a happy future. Don't drink, and soon you'll find yourself rebuilding. I'm in my twenties as well, and in rehab I can't tell you how many times people in their 40's and up would tell me that they wished they got sober when they were my age. Took me another year and a half to quit after rehab, which led to nothing but destruction and misery. But I'm glad I did finally stop. Quite frankly, I could be dead if I didn't.