Arbor

Still new in my recovery here. One thing that my mind still does is alcohol = good times. Which I know is not true. I guess more sober time will reveal if this ever goes away. What has worked for others to silence these thoughts?

Music

I've been sober for some time and I still remember some of the good times while drinking. It's ok to remember, I just don't linger there. As many good times I had, I experienced many more bad times and results from drinking. So, when my mind goes there, I THINK THE DRINK THROUGH TO IT'S INEVITABLE END. I mentally drink the drink, then another and another, get drunk, do and say stupid anti-social things, wake up with a hangover swearing never to do or say those things again and allow myself to remember the guilt and remorse about what I'd done. For me, that brings me back into the reality that it's not a good idea for me to drink and that I've lost the privilege to drink due to my irresponsible actions. Works for me!

doggonecarl

I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and my drinking. It was pretty easy to disassociate alcohol with a "good time" after that.

matt4x4

Reading the Big Book, working the steps, talking to my sposor and many sponsees, helping other people outside of AA, going to treatment centres and hospitals to carry the message. Those are just a few right off the top of my head, there is plenty more that has worked for me, and countless other people.

GracieLou

I think the thing that helped me most was being honest with myself. First, I can’t say I never had a good time while drinking because that is not true, I have, but they got farther and farther away once my alcoholism took hold until there was none and it was maintenance drinking because I didn't know how else to live.

Another thing that helps is swapping war stories with other drunks. In most circles people try to out do each other for the better, not so much with a group of drunks. Our stories are the horrors and we laugh about it BUT it serves a purpose to remind ourselves where we ended up.

We don’t swap, “I went to the bar had three drinks and went home” stories. They are more along the lines of “I went to the bar and didn’t make it home for three days because I got so drunk I could not find my car, tried breaking into someone else’s car thinking it was mine, was chased by the police, broke three ribs and slept in a ditch with a dead cat”.

If you want to remember were you where at, swap some war stories with a group of drunks. Takes you back and reminds you were you don’t want to go again pretty fast.

I usually walk away laughing but also thinking…Man, I was really bad!

Jeni26

After 22 months sober, I can still get those fleeting thoughts and glimpses of memories of happy drinking times...

They are lies. I hurt myself and others during my drinking days. I was suicidal, my marriage was on the rocks, and my kids avoided me. I was becoming physically ill. Mentally I was a mess and spent long periods of time isolating from everyone.

I have spent the last nearly 2 years making amends to those people I hurt and building my new life. It has taken this long to regain the trust of my kids..

So...when a thought of a nice glass of wine on a Summers Day pops into my mind, I picture the look of disappointment on my daughters face. It sorts it every time.

Stoogy

I think we all look back at certain times when drinking was fun, it really was for me too. Going home on a Friday and going for a few beers was great at the time but when it starts to dictate your every day thoughts then you know there is trouble ahead. I used to make time for a beer here and there but it got to the point I was struggling to make time for anything or anyone else.. It can control you and it DID control me until I took a stronger mindset. I have never attended any meetings and I don't know if I'm in the minority for that reason?

FeenixxRising

For me there were "good times" that came with drinking. However, the good times weren't completely due to alcohol consumption, but more so because of the company I was with and the activities we were engaged in (having dinner, watching a sporting event, at a picnic etc.).

As time progressed, I was no longer in engaged any real activities other than sitting in a bar and drinking, and even that was often enjoyable. But then my drinking only brought me an hour or so of "fun"; after those few hours it became my enemy. It does so because I can't stop drinking at that point--I will continue to use until I crash and burn. The consequences that result from drinking have become intolerable. The hours of misery, pain and regret that I must pay for an hour or so of euphoria is not worth it. The financial, physical and personal damage that I pay for those couple hours of liquid induced bliss are much too expensive.

If you give yourself some sober time, you will find that you can engage in many activities without drinking and still have a "good time".

Arbor

Thanks for all the input everyone.

It's messed up though! For some reason the mind chooses to only remember the good times. Not the bad. Think I read that somewhere. Rational Recovery I believe. Of course I recognize this and run my check list of bad times. Which out way the good. So the root of my question I guess is that at some point. After enough sober time and work can the mind switch sides? Can we forget the good times and move on without harping on all the negative times to convince ourselves? My guess would probably be yes, but it's going to take me some time.

GracieLou

I think the point is to not harp at all, on either. I don't look back or forward, I just live today.

It sounds to me like you are still waiting for the day when it all goes away and you can move on rather than actually moving on.

GunnyL

There were plenty of good times and unless you can erase your mind, they don't go away. I accept them for what they are.

When I think about now, I think about the LAST time. Hooked up to IV's getting my brain flushed with cleanser then drugged in a detox center so that I hardly knew who I was, walking around with the rest of the zombies in scrubs.

:Good times".

SoulSister

Honesty beats out delusion every time.

What has your experience been? What happens when you drink?

If you are here...it's probably not good.

Dee74

I found the longer I was sober the more I changed, arbor.

The bottom line is tho - I drank way past the line where drinking was fun, and I can never go back to that simpler time. Ever.

Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship.

I think that's the basic level of acceptance needed for long term recovery.

D

Arbor

I think harp is not the best word choice. Just wondering if we have to think through those negative times constantly.

I believe moving on takes sometime and is not just something that happens overnight. I don't know any alcoholics that have made a decision the first time around to quit/move on and stuck with it without slipping up learning along the way.

doggonecarl

Yes, moving on from the memories of the "good" times may take a while. Don't equate moving on with relapsing so you can then say, "Well, I'm learning now."

Relapse is not part of recovery. It's part of the addiction.

zjw

almost 2 years after I sobered up I decided the 5 gallon bucket of wine i fermented probably should go. I was not going to drink it I'm not sure why i was saving it other then that stupid speical attachment an alcholic has with booze. and also well gee i hate to waste anything or maybe that was just an excuse to keep it handy in case i needed it?

Anyhow I decided to pour it down the drain. My god coulda gotten drunk off the scent. I almost shed a tear thinking about all the good times I could have had. I also got to thinking about all the god awful times i would have had puking it up like crazy hung over and on the verge of death. Followed up by god aweful panic attacks. I figured the price i'd pay for the short good times was really not worth it and was happy to see it go.

I used to drink all night for relief from my anxiety and depression and panic etc... now I just go for a run each day and that gives me the relief i need. its considerably cheaper much better for me and it doesnt seem to cause the same problems it relieves. It also takes up less of my time too.