Has anyone had to change their WHOLE lives to stay sober?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
I am undergoing a mental overhaul and have started to address an area I have neglected my whole life: spirituality. So, on the outside there has been little change but on the inside there is a major transformation !
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 170
Wow WhiteFeathers!! Extremely similar story here! I have the same struggles where it seems like almost (not all) of my family/friends are really kinda bummed I stopped drinking. Drinking is what we do to socialize. I'm at 73 days now and basically I will just keep going and see what happens. Im hoping slowly but surely people will just get used to my sobriety and it won't be a big deal.. I know I haven't offered much here other than that I know how you are feeling.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 138
Whitefeathers, I am pulling for you.
I know that when I quit drinking, my husband and close friends adjusted. When it was clear my behavior was changed, they really had no choice. Your husband may say stuff that minimizes your drinking issues, and he may drink (too much) himself and need you to drink to justify his drinking...but what really would happen if you successfully quit? I'm wondering if he might say things at the beginning that wouldn't be so supportive...but he would adjust. In marriage, it's my experience that if one partner is really changing something, eventually the other just adjusts. I'm hoping you will take the risk because it's worth it.
I suggest you focus on the relationship with your kids. You don't say how old they are, but I am guessing because you are dropping them off, they are in k-12 somewhere, I'm guessing under 12. I believe that drinking is a progressive experience. I also believe that you can be out of control long before you realize it. I grew up with an active alcoholic parent and I was an active alcoholic parent. I can tell you from both sides that an active alcoholic parent cannot really be a present parent. Maybe you're still in the stage where your kids aren't feeling your absence, maybe they're still young enough that they're not really cognizant of it, but they'll get older and your drinking will get worse.
Again, I'm pulling for you. Good luck.
I know that when I quit drinking, my husband and close friends adjusted. When it was clear my behavior was changed, they really had no choice. Your husband may say stuff that minimizes your drinking issues, and he may drink (too much) himself and need you to drink to justify his drinking...but what really would happen if you successfully quit? I'm wondering if he might say things at the beginning that wouldn't be so supportive...but he would adjust. In marriage, it's my experience that if one partner is really changing something, eventually the other just adjusts. I'm hoping you will take the risk because it's worth it.
I suggest you focus on the relationship with your kids. You don't say how old they are, but I am guessing because you are dropping them off, they are in k-12 somewhere, I'm guessing under 12. I believe that drinking is a progressive experience. I also believe that you can be out of control long before you realize it. I grew up with an active alcoholic parent and I was an active alcoholic parent. I can tell you from both sides that an active alcoholic parent cannot really be a present parent. Maybe you're still in the stage where your kids aren't feeling your absence, maybe they're still young enough that they're not really cognizant of it, but they'll get older and your drinking will get worse.
Again, I'm pulling for you. Good luck.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by WhiteFeathers 
Beyond getting "too drunk," I don't have any other real problems as a result of drinking (except I'm 30-40 lbs overweight, thank you wine, I feel like crap much of the time, etc.).
There are hundreds of comments on SR that include language that rationalizes drinking by diminishing the extent of the self-degradation we're willing to endure in order to continue drinking, or by simply dismissing our suffering by normalizing it. After all, "everyone else I know has problems like me," so why worry over where drinking takes us? And it always takes us.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by WhiteFeathers
Yes, I get too drunk sometimes, but doesn't everybody? Beyond getting "too drunk," I don't have any other real problems as a result of drinking (except I'm 30-40 lbs overweight, thank you wine, I feel like crap much of the time, etc.).
I just need some words of inspiration.
I know it can get better. I just can't even imagine my life without alcohol at all. I've tried AA. I don't feel like I fit in. There are so few alcoholics in AA around my 'hood. I know it shouldn't matter, but it kinda does anyway.
I just need some words of inspiration.
I know it can get better. I just can't even imagine my life without alcohol at all. I've tried AA. I don't feel like I fit in. There are so few alcoholics in AA around my 'hood. I know it shouldn't matter, but it kinda does anyway.
Quitting is useless if the quitting doesn't bring opportunities for better life experiences. You've already decided your marriage wont survive if you quit alcohol. You've already decided AA doesn't feel like you fit in. You feel like crap most of the time you say...
You say you know it can get better. Well, its not really clear what you know about things getting better since its clear you want a better life that also includes alcoholic beverages, and since you already have this life, and your settling for still wanting it, what really are you asking for when you say you want inspiration?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
Well done for being so lucid.
I was in denial until my car crashed into a truck (guess which vehicle was written off in that encounter) and I was lucky to come out of a coma after 20 days and fully recover physically.
I was also lucky to 'understand' that I couldn't drink any more, ever.
I think you have a huge challenge in front of you because I think it is much harder to just stop without changing your whole life. I am guessing that you feel all your reference points are soaked in previous perceptions but from reading your posts, I think that you're intelligent and that gives you power.
I think your husband is lost in his own version of denial and because we alcoholics (when we're active) actually hate ourselves, you're vulnerable and buy into his version of the best reality.
The others have posted some wonderful truths and I can only contribute what I hope will help you.
Your addictive personality can trap you into the vicious cycle of what basically amounts to self destruction but it can also serve you to pull yourself out of that trap.
An addictive personality can be obsessive, tenacious and refuse to take no for an answer. Use those traits; they got you into this mess, they will save you.
Once you have stayed sober for long enough to believe in your capacity to continue to stay sober you will feel strong and you will like yourself. Only then will it strike you how little you liked yourself before and how much you felt the need to apologize for very existence.
I think the exercise thing is also important; not just because it's good for you and will help you shed the weight but because the endorphins your body releases through exercise make you feel great.
Social gatherings are a tough part of early sobriety. What I did was to drink cold coffee (1 spoon of instant in a highball glass, enough hot water to dissolve then top up with cold water, a couple of ice cubes and drink with a straw).
This means I had something to hold and sip that looks quite cool and also, importantly, that is a stimulant because of the caffeine. Don't have too much!
My friends and family were used to it and always had it on hand if they invited me. The bars where I went with friends were also 'trained' and would recognize me when I went in - it became my 'signature'
I know we're all different and that the same things don't work for everybody but please try to do this for yourself.
Next month it will 20 years since I had the car crash and 20 years since I had an alcoholic drink.
I think of all the good things that have happened to me in those 20 years and I know that I wouldn't have been able to even understand how good they were let alone take advantage of the opportunities that came my way if I hadn't been sober.
Alcohol steals your intelligence and capacity to make good decisions.
Life is life and there are no magic tricks to suddenly make things perfect but stopping drinking is a gift you owe to yourself.
The best, best of luck.
I was in denial until my car crashed into a truck (guess which vehicle was written off in that encounter) and I was lucky to come out of a coma after 20 days and fully recover physically.
I was also lucky to 'understand' that I couldn't drink any more, ever.
I think you have a huge challenge in front of you because I think it is much harder to just stop without changing your whole life. I am guessing that you feel all your reference points are soaked in previous perceptions but from reading your posts, I think that you're intelligent and that gives you power.
I think your husband is lost in his own version of denial and because we alcoholics (when we're active) actually hate ourselves, you're vulnerable and buy into his version of the best reality.
The others have posted some wonderful truths and I can only contribute what I hope will help you.
Your addictive personality can trap you into the vicious cycle of what basically amounts to self destruction but it can also serve you to pull yourself out of that trap.
An addictive personality can be obsessive, tenacious and refuse to take no for an answer. Use those traits; they got you into this mess, they will save you.
Once you have stayed sober for long enough to believe in your capacity to continue to stay sober you will feel strong and you will like yourself. Only then will it strike you how little you liked yourself before and how much you felt the need to apologize for very existence.
I think the exercise thing is also important; not just because it's good for you and will help you shed the weight but because the endorphins your body releases through exercise make you feel great.
Social gatherings are a tough part of early sobriety. What I did was to drink cold coffee (1 spoon of instant in a highball glass, enough hot water to dissolve then top up with cold water, a couple of ice cubes and drink with a straw).
This means I had something to hold and sip that looks quite cool and also, importantly, that is a stimulant because of the caffeine. Don't have too much!
My friends and family were used to it and always had it on hand if they invited me. The bars where I went with friends were also 'trained' and would recognize me when I went in - it became my 'signature'
I know we're all different and that the same things don't work for everybody but please try to do this for yourself.
Next month it will 20 years since I had the car crash and 20 years since I had an alcoholic drink.
I think of all the good things that have happened to me in those 20 years and I know that I wouldn't have been able to even understand how good they were let alone take advantage of the opportunities that came my way if I hadn't been sober.
Alcohol steals your intelligence and capacity to make good decisions.
Life is life and there are no magic tricks to suddenly make things perfect but stopping drinking is a gift you owe to yourself.
The best, best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Rock Stream, NY
Posts: 9
On the weekends, I drink socially too. I spend Saturday nights out having cocktails with friends or at parties. I have a very close-knit community and I really love my friends. I don't think they really see me as a alcoholic either. Yes, I get too drunk sometimes, but doesn't everybody? Beyond getting "too drunk," I don't have any other real problems as a result of drinking (except I'm 30-40 lbs overweight, thank you wine, I feel like crap much of the time, etc.).
This is exactly how I feel!!! Drinking has always been part of my life and almost feel lost without it. Feel like I can't hang with any of my friends and still wonder if I have to stop forever....one day at a time I guess. Good Luck my friend!
This is exactly how I feel!!! Drinking has always been part of my life and almost feel lost without it. Feel like I can't hang with any of my friends and still wonder if I have to stop forever....one day at a time I guess. Good Luck my friend!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
amishlady you don't have to decide whether you're an alcoholic in order to stop drinking. When I stopped it was because the hospital warned me I might go spontaneously back into a coma if I had a drink (well, they did tell me that but they also told me it was like 1,000 to 1 shot).
The important thing to me was that it was a narrative that I found acceptable, I trotted it out for the first 4 years that I was sober when people asked why I didn't want a 'real drink'.
Then suddenly after 4 years, for no particular reason that I can remember, somebody asked me the question when I ordered my cold coffee: "Why don't you have a drink?"
"Because I'm an alcoholic" were the words that came out of my mouth.
I have no idea why I said them at that moment but it felt very comfortable and absolutely right.
The point I'm trying to get across is that it matters less why you stop than THAT you stop.
You can always decide at some future date why you did it.
Give yourself the time to understand that the reason your friends like you is because you're you, not because you drink.
I was convinced the only reason I was funny or kooky or popular was because I was 'relaxed' when I drank. It isn't true - you do need to give it time though.
All the best.
The important thing to me was that it was a narrative that I found acceptable, I trotted it out for the first 4 years that I was sober when people asked why I didn't want a 'real drink'.
Then suddenly after 4 years, for no particular reason that I can remember, somebody asked me the question when I ordered my cold coffee: "Why don't you have a drink?"
"Because I'm an alcoholic" were the words that came out of my mouth.
I have no idea why I said them at that moment but it felt very comfortable and absolutely right.
The point I'm trying to get across is that it matters less why you stop than THAT you stop.
You can always decide at some future date why you did it.
Give yourself the time to understand that the reason your friends like you is because you're you, not because you drink.
I was convinced the only reason I was funny or kooky or popular was because I was 'relaxed' when I drank. It isn't true - you do need to give it time though.
All the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
"You're not really yourself getting behind quitting drinking as a way forward, and so asking for inspiration on a recovery forum reveals some level of desperation with addiction ambivalence, no?
Quitting is useless if the quitting doesn't bring opportunities for better life experiences. You've already decided your marriage wont survive if you quit alcohol. You've already decided AA doesn't feel like you fit in. You feel like crap most of the time you say...
You say you know it can get better. Well, its not really clear what you know about things getting better since its clear you want a better life that also includes alcoholic beverages, and since you already have this life, and your settling for still wanting it, what really are you asking for when you say you want inspiration? "
I think you hit the nail on the head. Addiction ambivalence. Will quitting for good make my life better or worse? Obviously, I think drinking is making my life, or at least huge chucks of it, pretty miserable. But the real question is whether I'm using drinking to mask the underlying negative qualities of my life. And what will I do to change them when I'm sober? One gift that sobriety brings is that things that used to be bearable with a little help from the "medicine" become unbearable. And this is where change happens. By drinking, it's possible to keep everything cool and maintain the status quo. This isn't a good thing.
I keep hearing that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I believe this, yes and no. I used to drink a LOT more when I was in my 20's. I first flirted with AA before I got married and had kids because I was engaging is really troubling alcoholic behavior that was truly dangerous (and embarrassing!). For the past 10 years, my drinking has ebbed and flowed between heaver and lighter and nothing dangerous or truly embarrassing has happened. I used to do drugs too. I haven't touched an illegal drug in over a decade (not including pills which I have abused, but they were prescribed for actual medical issues. I still feel I abused them).
My fear isn't that I will end up driving drunk and crashing into someone or that I'll end up in jail or whatever. I don't ever drive drunk (and when I pick my kids up from school tipsy, I am close enough to walk. It's still potentially dangerous). I'm not rationalizing this. My real fear is that I will continue to live my life like this for the next 20-30-40 years. I feel sort of stultified. My life is like this: go home, drink, do some work on the computer, hang out, get fatter, drink, eat some vienamese take-out, pass out for a couple hours, get up, stuff myself in some kind of outfit, go hang out at someone's house or at some wretched "girl's night out!" drink more, go to bed, wake up hungover, trudge through the day, have another drink, do some more computer work, blah blah blah.
I don't ever do anything fun! All I ever feel like doing is hanging out and drinking. I'm only 35 but I feel so much older. I'm tired all the time, my body aches, I'm depressed and unmotivated.
I picture myself being the kind of person who backpacks through Alaska, zip-lines in Costa Rica, rock climbs in Joshua Tree, plays sports with my kids on the weekend, creates music and art, develops profound relationships with others. But currently, I could not be farther from that.
So, I guess that would answer my question! I may not want to stay married to my husband who is happier sitting around, drinking, eating and watching TV. I may need to find a new group of friends who are more interested in doing activities rather than drinking. Or maybe the same friends also want to do more interesting things.
Thanks for letting me get this all out here. You all are truly amazing and so generous with your time and concern. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Here's to day 4!
Quitting is useless if the quitting doesn't bring opportunities for better life experiences. You've already decided your marriage wont survive if you quit alcohol. You've already decided AA doesn't feel like you fit in. You feel like crap most of the time you say...
You say you know it can get better. Well, its not really clear what you know about things getting better since its clear you want a better life that also includes alcoholic beverages, and since you already have this life, and your settling for still wanting it, what really are you asking for when you say you want inspiration? "
I think you hit the nail on the head. Addiction ambivalence. Will quitting for good make my life better or worse? Obviously, I think drinking is making my life, or at least huge chucks of it, pretty miserable. But the real question is whether I'm using drinking to mask the underlying negative qualities of my life. And what will I do to change them when I'm sober? One gift that sobriety brings is that things that used to be bearable with a little help from the "medicine" become unbearable. And this is where change happens. By drinking, it's possible to keep everything cool and maintain the status quo. This isn't a good thing.
I keep hearing that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I believe this, yes and no. I used to drink a LOT more when I was in my 20's. I first flirted with AA before I got married and had kids because I was engaging is really troubling alcoholic behavior that was truly dangerous (and embarrassing!). For the past 10 years, my drinking has ebbed and flowed between heaver and lighter and nothing dangerous or truly embarrassing has happened. I used to do drugs too. I haven't touched an illegal drug in over a decade (not including pills which I have abused, but they were prescribed for actual medical issues. I still feel I abused them).
My fear isn't that I will end up driving drunk and crashing into someone or that I'll end up in jail or whatever. I don't ever drive drunk (and when I pick my kids up from school tipsy, I am close enough to walk. It's still potentially dangerous). I'm not rationalizing this. My real fear is that I will continue to live my life like this for the next 20-30-40 years. I feel sort of stultified. My life is like this: go home, drink, do some work on the computer, hang out, get fatter, drink, eat some vienamese take-out, pass out for a couple hours, get up, stuff myself in some kind of outfit, go hang out at someone's house or at some wretched "girl's night out!" drink more, go to bed, wake up hungover, trudge through the day, have another drink, do some more computer work, blah blah blah.
I don't ever do anything fun! All I ever feel like doing is hanging out and drinking. I'm only 35 but I feel so much older. I'm tired all the time, my body aches, I'm depressed and unmotivated.
I picture myself being the kind of person who backpacks through Alaska, zip-lines in Costa Rica, rock climbs in Joshua Tree, plays sports with my kids on the weekend, creates music and art, develops profound relationships with others. But currently, I could not be farther from that.
So, I guess that would answer my question! I may not want to stay married to my husband who is happier sitting around, drinking, eating and watching TV. I may need to find a new group of friends who are more interested in doing activities rather than drinking. Or maybe the same friends also want to do more interesting things.
Thanks for letting me get this all out here. You all are truly amazing and so generous with your time and concern. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Here's to day 4!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
First I believe you are rationalizing in your comment about it being alright to pick your kids up "tipsy" because you can walk. Not a judgment about how good a parent but yes, I feel this is rationalizing you disease.
Second, I relate with most of what you write. I was there exactly. I felt dead inside and my routine substitute kids for work was pretty similar. Get home from work, pour a drink, drive tipsy to get takeout, get home more drinks, pass out watching some reality TV, wake up, night cap go to bed. Wake up 4 times per night guzzling water, get 2 hours of sleep, wake up do some work from home bc I could not make it into the office, take a nap at noon, pour a drink at 4PM repeat cycle - throw some drunk texts that could ruin my career in too.
It is progressive and what I found was it was taking more of my life, you know the time I could actually live little by little. I would do less of the things I truly liked to do sober, tennis, mtn bike, ski, read, write, work, swim run...these became less and less bc of the grip it had on me.
When I quit I did not know how it would work out. Another member stated this and it sums up my mindset last summer: I did not want to die but I did not want to live and I had no idea how to stop. So I decided one day that I had had enough and reached out for help. I entered AA and got a sponsor.
The early days including detox were tough. I was lost but willing to listen bc what I had done brought me to the edge of my life. It was not all roses as chronicled in my journey here. But I began to trut the process. +7 months in, I am happier than I have ever been. Oh happiness is not being on a private plane with some stripper and blow on the way to Vegas either (used to think it was) its living in the moment and having serenity.
Good luck - sounds liek you might be ready to claim your life back...
Second, I relate with most of what you write. I was there exactly. I felt dead inside and my routine substitute kids for work was pretty similar. Get home from work, pour a drink, drive tipsy to get takeout, get home more drinks, pass out watching some reality TV, wake up, night cap go to bed. Wake up 4 times per night guzzling water, get 2 hours of sleep, wake up do some work from home bc I could not make it into the office, take a nap at noon, pour a drink at 4PM repeat cycle - throw some drunk texts that could ruin my career in too.
It is progressive and what I found was it was taking more of my life, you know the time I could actually live little by little. I would do less of the things I truly liked to do sober, tennis, mtn bike, ski, read, write, work, swim run...these became less and less bc of the grip it had on me.
When I quit I did not know how it would work out. Another member stated this and it sums up my mindset last summer: I did not want to die but I did not want to live and I had no idea how to stop. So I decided one day that I had had enough and reached out for help. I entered AA and got a sponsor.
The early days including detox were tough. I was lost but willing to listen bc what I had done brought me to the edge of my life. It was not all roses as chronicled in my journey here. But I began to trut the process. +7 months in, I am happier than I have ever been. Oh happiness is not being on a private plane with some stripper and blow on the way to Vegas either (used to think it was) its living in the moment and having serenity.
Good luck - sounds liek you might be ready to claim your life back...
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by WhiteFeathers
I think you hit the nail on the head. Addiction ambivalence. Will quitting for good make my life better or worse? Obviously, I think drinking is making my life, or at least huge chucks of it, pretty miserable. But the real question is whether I'm using drinking to mask the underlying negative qualities of my life. And what will I do to change them when I'm sober? One gift that sobriety brings is that things that used to be bearable with a little help from the "medicine" become unbearable. And this is where change happens. By drinking, it's possible to keep everything cool and maintain the status quo. This isn't a good thing.
I keep hearing that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I believe this, yes and no. I used to drink a LOT more when I was in my 20's. I first flirted with AA before I got married and had kids because I was engaging is really troubling alcoholic behavior that was truly dangerous (and embarrassing!). For the past 10 years, my drinking has ebbed and flowed between heaver and lighter and nothing dangerous or truly embarrassing has happened. I used to do drugs too. I haven't touched an illegal drug in over a decade (not including pills which I have abused, but they were prescribed for actual medical issues. I still feel I abused them).
I don't ever do anything fun! All I ever feel like doing is hanging out and drinking. I'm only 35 but I feel so much older. I'm tired all the time, my body aches, I'm depressed and unmotivated.
I picture myself being the kind of person who backpacks through Alaska, zip-lines in Costa Rica, rock climbs in Joshua Tree, plays sports with my kids on the weekend, creates music and art, develops profound relationships with others. But currently, I could not be farther from that.
So, I guess that would answer my question! I may not want to stay married to my husband who is happier sitting around, drinking, eating and watching TV. I may need to find a new group of friends who are more interested in doing activities rather than drinking. Or maybe the same friends also want to do more interesting things.
Thanks for letting me get this all out here. You all are truly amazing and so generous with your time and concern. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Here's to day 4!
I picture myself being the kind of person who backpacks through Alaska, zip-lines in Costa Rica, rock climbs in Joshua Tree, plays sports with my kids on the weekend, creates music and art, develops profound relationships with others. But currently, I could not be farther from that.
So, I guess that would answer my question! I may not want to stay married to my husband who is happier sitting around, drinking, eating and watching TV. I may need to find a new group of friends who are more interested in doing activities rather than drinking. Or maybe the same friends also want to do more interesting things.
Thanks for letting me get this all out here. You all are truly amazing and so generous with your time and concern. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Here's to day 4!
...my steady decline into obscurity, despair, and becoming invisible and inconsequential in the lives of others as well as my own unless I was causing pain and hurt to myself and others...
...and my losing of my self in myself even though it used to take my drinking to experience such loss, eventually even without drinking, I still was overwhelmed with my attempts to right myself. Drinking made it easy for me to pretend such failures and losses were circumstantial and not relative to me because being drunk was the cause and the effect, and so the progression became obvious when without alcohol I still felt raw and lost but without the dullness of the alcohol to succor me...
These experiences for me resolved my doubts on my active alcoholism being a progressive illness. My alcoholism is now in remission, and so the illness itself for me is not now progressive. This is not to say the consequences for my alcoholism are not life long though...
Awesome on your early days of success with sobriety, Whitefeathers!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I picture myself being the kind of person who backpacks through Alaska, zip-lines in Costa Rica, rock climbs in Joshua Tree, plays sports with my kids on the weekend, creates music and art, develops profound relationships with others. But currently, I could not be farther from that.
We tend to make decisions for certain reasons forgeting or nor realizing all the other things that will be added to our quality of life if we follow through with our good choice. Changes dont happen over night. But take weight loss one might set out to loose weight to look like some super model. Me I want abs!! I wont lie I want abs! i dont care about my stretch marks etc.. But you know what? I might not ever get em. I might not ever be a super model. But I got heaps of energy I fit in the size pants I should be in. I can run mile after mile after mile. I can chase my kids and not get winded. I race my duaghter up the stairs and she cant beat me and we laugh the whole time. These are all things that got added to my quality of life. I dont have to feel uncomfortable in my clothes. I walk around with a smile one I feel good about myself etc.. the list of benefits goes on and on and on. and all i wanted to do was loose a little weight but look what all i got!
The same is true for alcohol. I dont wake up wanting to end it each day anymore. I dont have headaches. I dont have stomach issues. I dont eat a pile of pills before bed to help me sleep and keep the pain and hangover at a minimum (how i'm alive i'll never know).
I think one kicker is people over complicate things and we have a very short term memory. we can very quickly forget or wash away the misery of an evening of drinking. we can make excuses as to why 1 drink one hurt one slice of chocolate cake wont hurt anything. We can then beat ourselves up when we fall down and say oh screw it i'll just sit down here in my pit and shovel in my cake and drink my booze woe is me.
We really do a great job at complicating it. The reality is its simple put a note on your mirror if you have too "I wont drink today" thats it You got 1 thing you gotta worry about dont drink thats it. No one gave you a list of 219381923 things that have to get done or some HUGE daunting task to have done by 5pm. You've decided to NOT do something how easy is that while your NOT doing this one thing (drinking) you can haul off and do whatever you want.
But yeah its easier said then done. we feel deprived our best friend booze is not at hte party tonight this is boring etc.. our mind starts going. Eventually it gets easier. You start noticing the benefits and the pros outweigh the cons.
I had to keep it stupid simple. I'm great at over complicating stuff in my head. I still dont know how i got out of that pit half the time. I was in a daze all i new was "dont drink" I didnt know why i was not happy about it. I wanted to drink in the worst way etc.. But i thought I'll just go with it see where this takes me.
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