Support Requested
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Support Requested
Hey beautiful people,
I've had a wicked few days; one thing after another at work. I've been making some mistakes -- I know everyone does, but I'm pretty down about it. I take such pride in my work and know I usually do a solid job; it's just been some oversights or misjudgements.
I even said to a friend today, why not just show up hangover if this crap still happens when I'm sober! That's not healthy thinking, is it?
It just seems like it's not one thing but another and another I've been dealing with. Super busy/super stressed…and for the first time in a while, I just wanted to get hammered after work.
I've been sober since November 2012. I just need some encouragement I guess…maybe some ways or things that others do to help them not be so hard on themselves when things go awry? My past go to method is unavailable.
I just haven't felt such strong urges in awhile. This site is my only sobriety support. Guess I just needed to vent to my friends.
I'm in bed sober watching tv and eating Doritoes and leftover pizza, so no worries on the drinking front. Just looking for a kind word or some words of wisdom.
Major thanks to this site and all the wise people on who share and help others on a daily basis. I couldn't have made it this far without you.
I've had a wicked few days; one thing after another at work. I've been making some mistakes -- I know everyone does, but I'm pretty down about it. I take such pride in my work and know I usually do a solid job; it's just been some oversights or misjudgements.
I even said to a friend today, why not just show up hangover if this crap still happens when I'm sober! That's not healthy thinking, is it?
It just seems like it's not one thing but another and another I've been dealing with. Super busy/super stressed…and for the first time in a while, I just wanted to get hammered after work.
I've been sober since November 2012. I just need some encouragement I guess…maybe some ways or things that others do to help them not be so hard on themselves when things go awry? My past go to method is unavailable.
I just haven't felt such strong urges in awhile. This site is my only sobriety support. Guess I just needed to vent to my friends.
I'm in bed sober watching tv and eating Doritoes and leftover pizza, so no worries on the drinking front. Just looking for a kind word or some words of wisdom.
Major thanks to this site and all the wise people on who share and help others on a daily basis. I couldn't have made it this far without you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,447
I'm sorry that you're stressed Ophelia.
Remember to take care of you in all this...especially in the super busy times...a little me time can do wonders I find.
Sometimes I just have to accept that all I can is my best...some days that's a 10 and other days, for whatever reason, it might be a 6...
keep reaching out here too - there's lots of wisdom and understanding here
D
Remember to take care of you in all this...especially in the super busy times...a little me time can do wonders I find.
Sometimes I just have to accept that all I can is my best...some days that's a 10 and other days, for whatever reason, it might be a 6...
keep reaching out here too - there's lots of wisdom and understanding here
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Why not pamper yourself a bit? Take a long hot bath, buy yourself something you've been wanting. Read a new book. Visit a museum. Anything to keep yourself alive and happy.
You can get thru this.
You can get thru this.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Hi Ophelia. I occasionally felt that way my first couple of years sober. All we can do is ride it out - and do what you're doing - reaching out for suggestions. Posting here, tv, reading - anything to distract ourselves until the weirdness leaves. I'm sure others will have some thoughts. Proud of you for not caving.
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Yeah, it's been hard lately. Thanks for being proud of me, Hevyn, but I feel kind of ruined. I also don't know how successful I really am if I am still dealing with cravings?
Like I've ruined my relationship with alcohol (and can still get sad about THAT? wtf?). I can't go back. Right? RIGHT? riiiiight. Why do I still have to convince myself some days? Why do the thoughts of drinking still enter my head after 17 months *shakes head….
Just kinda down about living with the ghost of it lingering, especially whenever I'm stressed taunting me with its false promises.
Like I've ruined my relationship with alcohol (and can still get sad about THAT? wtf?). I can't go back. Right? RIGHT? riiiiight. Why do I still have to convince myself some days? Why do the thoughts of drinking still enter my head after 17 months *shakes head….
Just kinda down about living with the ghost of it lingering, especially whenever I'm stressed taunting me with its false promises.
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Yeah, it's been hard lately. Thanks for being proud of me, Hevyn, but I feel kind of ruined. I also don't know how successful I really am if I am still dealing with cravings?
Like I've ruined my relationship with alcohol (and can still get sad about THAT? wtf?). I can't go back. Right? RIGHT? riiiiight. Why do I still have to convince myself some days? Why do the thoughts of drinking still enter my head after 17 months *shakes head….
Just kinda down about living with the ghost of it lingering, especially whenever I'm stressed, taunting me with its false promises.
Like I've ruined my relationship with alcohol (and can still get sad about THAT? wtf?). I can't go back. Right? RIGHT? riiiiight. Why do I still have to convince myself some days? Why do the thoughts of drinking still enter my head after 17 months *shakes head….
Just kinda down about living with the ghost of it lingering, especially whenever I'm stressed, taunting me with its false promises.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
I felt that way too early on - not often, but enough to be upsetting. Those thoughts have almost entirely left me now. We relied on it for so long to help us cope (even though it didn't). It's bound to haunt us for a while, but we know where it will take us - there's no relief in picking up - just more anxiety and misery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,447
Personally, I think it's a mistake to measure success by the lack of craving Ophelia.
Drinking was my lifeline for 20 years...
I had cravings thoughts and impulses for well over a year.
I think our recovery is measured not by cravings, but how we deal with them
Drinking was my lifeline for 20 years...
I had cravings thoughts and impulses for well over a year.
I think our recovery is measured not by cravings, but how we deal with them
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Yeah, Dee, a little perspective helps. For over 25 years it was a lifeline for me. I've been successful for 17 months at something I never dreamed I could (or want to) do. It has made me feel stronger. Just a real sense of weakness in a few ways came crashing in around me tonight.
I hope I can sleep. It's 11:30 PM and I'm still a bit wired from the stress and not a drop of melatonin to be found. sigh
At least I'll eventually fall asleep instead of passing out and deal with the work stuff tomorrow without a deathly hangover.
Dee, I must have read your sig line a few times while composing this post. It's almost like it was made for me tonight. Thank you for your words.
I hope I can sleep. It's 11:30 PM and I'm still a bit wired from the stress and not a drop of melatonin to be found. sigh
At least I'll eventually fall asleep instead of passing out and deal with the work stuff tomorrow without a deathly hangover.
Dee, I must have read your sig line a few times while composing this post. It's almost like it was made for me tonight. Thank you for your words.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi there RO.
I can relate to that stressy work feeling and needing something to help switch off. Sounds like you and me could almost be related...setting impossibly high standards for ourselves at work, beating ourselves up when we find we can't be all things to all people...
What has helped me is meditation...just taking 20 minutes out of the madness to totally focus on something else. It has taken practice because work thoughts still like to intrude, but i can't believe what it has done to my general stress levels.
I also try very hard not to beat myself up now. I've accepted that I can make mistakes (who me??)...I apologise and move right on. I also let myself off the hook at weekends and do not rush around trying to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/sister /friend. I found I was running around like a headless chicken trying to be this bloody superwoman, whereas in fact after a hectic week at work, what I needed to do was go off for a walk on my own, listen to some music, or go visit someone who makes me laugh.
Be kind to yourself RO. You deserve it. It isn't always easy to juggle everything in life, but this work week will be over soon enough and I'm betting next week will be a whole lot better.
As for cravings, they aren't a sign of failure, or of something not working, they are a sign that you're an alcoholic that's all.
You're doing just fine xx
I can relate to that stressy work feeling and needing something to help switch off. Sounds like you and me could almost be related...setting impossibly high standards for ourselves at work, beating ourselves up when we find we can't be all things to all people...
What has helped me is meditation...just taking 20 minutes out of the madness to totally focus on something else. It has taken practice because work thoughts still like to intrude, but i can't believe what it has done to my general stress levels.
I also try very hard not to beat myself up now. I've accepted that I can make mistakes (who me??)...I apologise and move right on. I also let myself off the hook at weekends and do not rush around trying to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/sister /friend. I found I was running around like a headless chicken trying to be this bloody superwoman, whereas in fact after a hectic week at work, what I needed to do was go off for a walk on my own, listen to some music, or go visit someone who makes me laugh.
Be kind to yourself RO. You deserve it. It isn't always easy to juggle everything in life, but this work week will be over soon enough and I'm betting next week will be a whole lot better.
As for cravings, they aren't a sign of failure, or of something not working, they are a sign that you're an alcoholic that's all.
You're doing just fine xx
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Personally, I think it's a mistake to measure success by the lack of craving Ophelia.
I measure my success in the fact I don't give into them anymore. That is success to me. I can ride them out and know that I have different ways of coping with them now. And that makes me feel good
.
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Thanks everyone. Your support really helped me last night. I'm on shaky ground as I gear up to face the day today and hope some issues can be resolved that put me in such a state yesterday.
Hope everyone has a good and healthy day. Thanks again.
Hope everyone has a good and healthy day. Thanks again.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Reviving Ophelia, I am glad to hear that today seems a little brighter, now that you are on the other side of that awful one yesterday. Goodonya.
I won't presume to advise you, but I will share what I do. The first thing and the one that gives me the most comfort is the one you and I both share, and that is to think on what we have achieved. WE QUIT DRINKING! We did it, dammit. These pages are full of those that haven't achieved what we have done, and we are told all sorts of things that say that our achievement is nearly impossible. So, to me, this means that since I achieved that, I can do and achieve and withstand almost anything. *adjusts badass hat*
The second thing I do is to look at my reaction to that first event. There is some belief I have that made me react the way I have, with hurt or anger, when that thing happened. I tell myself that it didn't happen to me, it happened. It is my assumptions or mindset that internalized it and made it about me. So, what assumption was this exactly? Do I believe that I must be treated fairly? Do I believe that I must always succeed? Do I believe that I must always be liked or respected or admired? Maybe this belief is not rational or reasonable. Maybe I am giving people I neither like or respect a power over me they do not deserve.
The other thing I do, especially at this time of year, is to try to get outside, get some sunshine, fresh air. Because of our location, maybe we both share that hunger for an end to this winter of ours. I can hear robins and cardinals now in the mornings and evenings, so this spring will come. It always has in the past, and I believe it will again.
You is an awesome lady, RO. I believe in you, and I know that you can find a way through the issues that troubled you so much yesterday. Wear that badass hat with pride. Onward!
I won't presume to advise you, but I will share what I do. The first thing and the one that gives me the most comfort is the one you and I both share, and that is to think on what we have achieved. WE QUIT DRINKING! We did it, dammit. These pages are full of those that haven't achieved what we have done, and we are told all sorts of things that say that our achievement is nearly impossible. So, to me, this means that since I achieved that, I can do and achieve and withstand almost anything. *adjusts badass hat*
The second thing I do is to look at my reaction to that first event. There is some belief I have that made me react the way I have, with hurt or anger, when that thing happened. I tell myself that it didn't happen to me, it happened. It is my assumptions or mindset that internalized it and made it about me. So, what assumption was this exactly? Do I believe that I must be treated fairly? Do I believe that I must always succeed? Do I believe that I must always be liked or respected or admired? Maybe this belief is not rational or reasonable. Maybe I am giving people I neither like or respect a power over me they do not deserve.
The other thing I do, especially at this time of year, is to try to get outside, get some sunshine, fresh air. Because of our location, maybe we both share that hunger for an end to this winter of ours. I can hear robins and cardinals now in the mornings and evenings, so this spring will come. It always has in the past, and I believe it will again.
You is an awesome lady, RO. I believe in you, and I know that you can find a way through the issues that troubled you so much yesterday. Wear that badass hat with pride. Onward!
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by freshstart57
Reviving Ophelia, I am glad to hear that today seems a little brighter, now that you are on the other side of that awful one yesterday. Goodonya.
I won't presume to advise you, but I will share what I do. The first thing and the one that gives me the most comfort is the one you and I both share, and that is to think on what we have achieved. WE QUIT DRINKING! We did it, dammit. These pages are full of those that haven't achieved what we have done, and we are told all sorts of things that say that our achievement is nearly impossible. So, to me, this means that since I achieved that, I can do and achieve and withstand almost anything. *adjusts badass hat*
The second thing I do is to look at my reaction to that first event. There is some belief I have that made me react the way I have, with hurt or anger, when that thing happened. I tell myself that it didn't happen to me, it happened. It is my assumptions or mindset that internalized it and made it about me. So, what assumption was this exactly? Do I believe that I must be treated fairly? Do I believe that I must always succeed? Do I believe that I must always be liked or respected or admired? Maybe this belief is not rational or reasonable. Maybe I am giving people I neither like or respect a power over me they do not deserve.
The other thing I do, especially at this time of year, is to try to get outside, get some sunshine, fresh air. Because of our location, maybe we both share that hunger for an end to this winter of ours. I can hear robins and cardinals now in the mornings and evenings, so this spring will come. It always has in the past, and I believe it will again.
You is an awesome lady, RO. I believe in you, and I know that you can find a way through the issues that troubled you so much yesterday. Wear that badass hat with pride. Onward!
I won't presume to advise you, but I will share what I do. The first thing and the one that gives me the most comfort is the one you and I both share, and that is to think on what we have achieved. WE QUIT DRINKING! We did it, dammit. These pages are full of those that haven't achieved what we have done, and we are told all sorts of things that say that our achievement is nearly impossible. So, to me, this means that since I achieved that, I can do and achieve and withstand almost anything. *adjusts badass hat*
The second thing I do is to look at my reaction to that first event. There is some belief I have that made me react the way I have, with hurt or anger, when that thing happened. I tell myself that it didn't happen to me, it happened. It is my assumptions or mindset that internalized it and made it about me. So, what assumption was this exactly? Do I believe that I must be treated fairly? Do I believe that I must always succeed? Do I believe that I must always be liked or respected or admired? Maybe this belief is not rational or reasonable. Maybe I am giving people I neither like or respect a power over me they do not deserve.
The other thing I do, especially at this time of year, is to try to get outside, get some sunshine, fresh air. Because of our location, maybe we both share that hunger for an end to this winter of ours. I can hear robins and cardinals now in the mornings and evenings, so this spring will come. It always has in the past, and I believe it will again.
You is an awesome lady, RO. I believe in you, and I know that you can find a way through the issues that troubled you so much yesterday. Wear that badass hat with pride. Onward!
I really like the line of thinking, "It didn't happen to me. It happened." I must remember that one!
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by Jeni26
Hi there RO.
I can relate to that stressy work feeling and needing something to help switch off. Sounds like you and me could almost be related...setting impossibly high standards for ourselves at work, beating ourselves up when we find we can't be all things to all people...
What has helped me is meditation...just taking 20 minutes out of the madness to totally focus on something else. It has taken practice because work thoughts still like to intrude, but i can't believe what it has done to my general stress levels.
I also try very hard not to beat myself up now. I've accepted that I can make mistakes (who me??)...I apologise and move right on. I also let myself off the hook at weekends and do not rush around trying to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/sister /friend. I found I was running around like a headless chicken trying to be this bloody superwoman, whereas in fact after a hectic week at work, what I needed to do was go off for a walk on my own, listen to some music, or go visit someone who makes me laugh.
Be kind to yourself RO. You deserve it. It isn't always easy to juggle everything in life, but this work week will be over soon enough and I'm betting next week will be a whole lot better.
As for cravings, they aren't a sign of failure, or of something not working, they are a sign that you're an alcoholic that's all.
You're doing just fine xx
I can relate to that stressy work feeling and needing something to help switch off. Sounds like you and me could almost be related...setting impossibly high standards for ourselves at work, beating ourselves up when we find we can't be all things to all people...
What has helped me is meditation...just taking 20 minutes out of the madness to totally focus on something else. It has taken practice because work thoughts still like to intrude, but i can't believe what it has done to my general stress levels.
I also try very hard not to beat myself up now. I've accepted that I can make mistakes (who me??)...I apologise and move right on. I also let myself off the hook at weekends and do not rush around trying to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/sister /friend. I found I was running around like a headless chicken trying to be this bloody superwoman, whereas in fact after a hectic week at work, what I needed to do was go off for a walk on my own, listen to some music, or go visit someone who makes me laugh.
Be kind to yourself RO. You deserve it. It isn't always easy to juggle everything in life, but this work week will be over soon enough and I'm betting next week will be a whole lot better.
As for cravings, they aren't a sign of failure, or of something not working, they are a sign that you're an alcoholic that's all.
You're doing just fine xx
Thanks, Jeni. Others have spoken of the powerful benefits of mediation. I really think I should look into this activity to help calm my mind when I get into a state.
Still I rise.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by least
Why not pamper yourself a bit? Take a long hot bath, buy yourself something you've been wanting. Read a new book. Visit a museum. Anything to keep yourself alive and happy.
You can get thru this.
You can get thru this.
I DO need to remember to not just work/comehome/work/comehome type of thing--isolation leads to a bit of the blues...
Thanks so much for your support, Least!
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