Klp9999

And scared to death. Panicky scared. For some reason I have convinced myself that I have liver problems from the years of drinking. My doctor appoiment is this week. Jesus help me I'm so scared.
You young ones dont let your drinking go on and on like I did it's not worth it. How I wish I had this forum when I was in my twenties. And now here I am 55 and scared of cirrhosis of leaving my children and grand children. Please please please try as hard as you all can get help go to rehab something to stop drinking. You all don't realize how short life really is. I want to see my grandchildren graduate from highschool, get married I want great children to hold in my lap.
And now because of my own selfishness and weakness I'm not sure I will be here becuase of my drinking. I hate alcohol hate it hate what it has done to me.

I want to crawl in a hole and hide...at least I don't want to crawl to the bottle and black out.

nandm

Congrats on your sober time.

I am sorry to hear about the possibility you may have done some serious damage to your liver. Thankfully our bodies do have the potential to heal when we stop drinking so the damage may not be as bad as you are expecting. Hopefully it will be that if you stay sober and eat a healthy diet you can manage the problem that way. Anyway I wish you the best.

afloatsober

Klp
Try not to panic. The doc will probably put your mind at ease, and you wont have done any more damage by staying sober, and that's a fact. You say in your post 'i have convinced myself' and i'm wondering if that could be a part of whats causing the fear. I'm pretty good at convincing myself of pretty much anything. This may sound crazy but once, after i was told that if i drank again i risked death, i drank again to drown my sorrows....
Stay calm, listen to your doctor and stay on the path.
And stick with your friends and the voices of reason....
G

MythOfSisyphus

Try to approach this the same way you approached quitting drinking in the first place, with determination and faith. What's done is done. You can't change it. Obviously you can't magically turn off the part of your brain that worries but by the same token, don't let your imagination run away with you.

You'll know more after the doctor appointment. Until then just take care of yourself, be good to yourself and live your life well. Sobriety has already saved your soul...life will have to take care of itself.

Carlotta

Sending you a big hug and I pray that everything turns out ok. I hope it's ok to mention it but member SnoozyQ had a big liver scare too and it turned out to be ok. Maybe you could pm her? She might tell you what to expect with exams etc.
Take care and try to stay in the moment (I know easier said than done).

Dee74

Hi Klp

It's important not top panic. I was sure my liver was shot too, but when I finally got the nerve to see a Dr 3 months later my liver was fine.

It's a pretty amazing regenerative organ.

I hope you'll get the same good news I did
let us know

D

Klp9999

Thanks everyone, I think my mind goes a little crazy and I convince myself I'm sick and google is NOT my friend. I imagine we all go through this in sobriety the fear of what damage we have done to our bodies. I was a whole lot of panicking this morning but doing better now. I knew this day would come when I would have to go to doctor..when I drank I never went, you couldn't have paid me to go to a doctor. I guess I'm growing up and facing realty now. It's not fun but better then hiding behind the bottle.

Dee74

Yeah it is a part of accepting responsibility for ourselves.
I regularly see my Dr now and I'm way better for it

D

Carlotta

You got to stay away from google. one time I thought I had the bubonic plague but it turned out to be an ingrown hair

FeenixxRising

Take it easy Klp. You don't know that something is wrong. The human body is very resilient. Save the worry for if and when you find out something is wrong. However, I suspect you will find that you're ok.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Longpasttime

You have already done the very best thing you can do for your liver by stopping the booze and now you are taking the next very smart step and getting checked out by a doc. Its okay to be nervous, i get that way before any doc appt of any kind, but also be really proud of yourself and DEFINITELY stay away from google, ok? And please have a plan to maintain your sobriety if you find out your liver is fine, that is not a hall pass back to drinking

karate

If you are not sick now ,you are fine .

KateL

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine. Sending positive vibes your way xxxx

Klp9999

Home from doctor, she did a exam she could not feel my liver I do not have a fatty liver she thinks I was panicking blood pressure was very good. She also went ahead and did a full blood draw that will test for everything but she doesn't think I have anything to worry about. She gave me Paxil told me to stay away from google.

FBL

I went through the same anxiety about seeing my doctor. After nearly 30 years of heavy drinking I thought for sure I did major damage. Turns out everything checked out okay and now at 4+ years sober I'm healthier than I've ever been in my adult life. And I'll second the motion about NOT Googling health symptoms

Mrmellow11

Definitely never google symptoms....I fell into that trap before and it can drive you nuts

chaos34

So happy to hear that everything worked out medically for you. I think that WebMD is another website to steer clear of.