Not drinking anymore
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
Not drinking anymore
This is day 8 for me and I am really at a crossroads.
I do not wish to drink anymore for so many reasons I could write a book.
My history of drinking is a long on and I have had years of sobriety in the AA program but somehow this feels different.
I got very frightened at the amount I have been drinking this year, the type of people that I allowed into my life, my behavior when drunk during black outs, and on fall of many that seriously injured me. It was around the 5th of February and I was working on my fifth bottle of strong burbon wiskey in three days and I fell. I do not remember the details of the fall but do remember the pain in my side like being stabbed with a spear. Whatever it was maybe a ice peak on the sidewalk I kept on drinking. Upon waking in the morning my left side was swollen about four inches and when I rolled over the shift caused a change. The side made a gurgle sound then blood burped and went down around two inches with intense pain. Long story short I stayed in bed for the most part of a week and drank only water and wine. The pain subsided but more than a month later it still bothers me.
This incident I feel was the beginning of the end of my long drinking history.
I am stuck in a run down slum hotel full of drug fiends and violent mobsters.
Yes, I can see that I am standing on the edge of a very long fall into a deep abyss. Drinking will not help me anymore and I want better for my life.
Keep me in your prayers.
I do not wish to drink anymore for so many reasons I could write a book.
My history of drinking is a long on and I have had years of sobriety in the AA program but somehow this feels different.
I got very frightened at the amount I have been drinking this year, the type of people that I allowed into my life, my behavior when drunk during black outs, and on fall of many that seriously injured me. It was around the 5th of February and I was working on my fifth bottle of strong burbon wiskey in three days and I fell. I do not remember the details of the fall but do remember the pain in my side like being stabbed with a spear. Whatever it was maybe a ice peak on the sidewalk I kept on drinking. Upon waking in the morning my left side was swollen about four inches and when I rolled over the shift caused a change. The side made a gurgle sound then blood burped and went down around two inches with intense pain. Long story short I stayed in bed for the most part of a week and drank only water and wine. The pain subsided but more than a month later it still bothers me.
This incident I feel was the beginning of the end of my long drinking history.
I am stuck in a run down slum hotel full of drug fiends and violent mobsters.
Yes, I can see that I am standing on the edge of a very long fall into a deep abyss. Drinking will not help me anymore and I want better for my life.
Keep me in your prayers.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I would see a Dr...the worst thing you can do is let a wound heal improperly.
Apart from anything else, I have lots of aches and pains from old wounds I never bothered to get checked out at the time.
D
Apart from anything else, I have lots of aches and pains from old wounds I never bothered to get checked out at the time.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
ER Tommorow
Thanks "folks", I think I rely on my natural immune/healing way to much.
and yeah I should have took a cab and gone. That first day I did not feel I should move at all. I did not get out of bed. The second I also did not move much. Now it still bothers me. What a nightmare.
Making appointment today for Veterans hospital in fact they have a veterans treatment program that check in is 9 on thurs.
Feeling a bit anxious today.
and yeah I should have took a cab and gone. That first day I did not feel I should move at all. I did not get out of bed. The second I also did not move much. Now it still bothers me. What a nightmare.
Making appointment today for Veterans hospital in fact they have a veterans treatment program that check in is 9 on thurs.
Feeling a bit anxious today.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by PioneertoNow 
I got very frightened at the amount I have been drinking this year, the type of people that I allowed into my life, my behavior when drunk during black outs, and on fall of many that seriously injured me.
This incident I feel was the beginning of the end of my long drinking history.
Drinking will not help me anymore and I want better for my life.
Keep me in your prayers.
will do -- pray for you
Bob
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Not drinking is a start.
Like Mount Everest the greatest of journeys starts with the first step. The willingness to climb to the summit. Put forth the effort.
Putting down the bottle is not enough. There is an old saying that to me is old, but it goes like this. If you sober up a drunken horse thief, all you got is a sober horse theif that can now steal more horses. I made up the last part because it reminds me of me, waaaay back when. If nothing changes then nothing changes. So going along this analogy. If by stopping drinking, your thinking stays the same then nothing changes because alcohol has nothing to do with the our problem. Our thoughts and minds are just as sick, as when we were drunken punks roaming around thinking we were the Top Dog. Then I remember that a sick mind cant heal a sick mind. It must come from a power greater then myself.
Like Mount Everest the greatest of journeys starts with the first step. The willingness to climb to the summit. Put forth the effort.
Putting down the bottle is not enough. There is an old saying that to me is old, but it goes like this. If you sober up a drunken horse thief, all you got is a sober horse theif that can now steal more horses. I made up the last part because it reminds me of me, waaaay back when. If nothing changes then nothing changes. So going along this analogy. If by stopping drinking, your thinking stays the same then nothing changes because alcohol has nothing to do with the our problem. Our thoughts and minds are just as sick, as when we were drunken punks roaming around thinking we were the Top Dog. Then I remember that a sick mind cant heal a sick mind. It must come from a power greater then myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
The horse farm
Thanks for the analogy Matt very true. On Day 10 now and I feel like all the other horses around me that don't drink the water are all of a sudden knocking on my door to inform me they are going to the liquor store? WTH
I did not tell them I was stopping.
Great move/shift did happen today as I had cash in my duct tape wallet walking down lake street in Minneapolis toward the Library. Well I passed two liquor stores and a bar and instead of supporting their business I went to the Grocery. Once there I purchased some green vegies sunflower seeds and a huge grapefruit. Not to long ago that would have been part of a down payment on a bottle of strong Kentucky wiskey. Victory for the day
I did not tell them I was stopping.
Great move/shift did happen today as I had cash in my duct tape wallet walking down lake street in Minneapolis toward the Library. Well I passed two liquor stores and a bar and instead of supporting their business I went to the Grocery. Once there I purchased some green vegies sunflower seeds and a huge grapefruit. Not to long ago that would have been part of a down payment on a bottle of strong Kentucky wiskey. Victory for the day
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
all the do da day
Today is my two week mark without the firewater. Went on a long moderate paced walk this morning and man am I out of shape and stiff with some pains here and there. I am a little bored which is a dangerous feeling for me. I feel like maybe getting a part time gig somewhere would help a bit.
My cat likes the new me after we played together for quite awhile this morning. He is no longer terrified of me.
My cat likes the new me after we played together for quite awhile this morning. He is no longer terrified of me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
Cracking Up
Yaaaarggggg! Did not get the best of sleep last night. It is St. Pats day. Very Irritable and cranky. Hate everyone. Drinking would be a quick fix but temporary. This helps writing it out though. Don't plan on getting involved in amature night but I do not like feeling this way. 
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Well done - you're cranking those days out. I'll keep you in my prayers - that you keep that momentum that you're building. It sounds like there's a strong conviction there to me. Hey, and your cat likes you again!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 623
Well done for staying sober, are you still in a run down hotel?
Boredom is a problem for me also, Im just watching my favourite dvds and trying to read and potter about. If youre in the middle of a city I cant imagine St pats day being much fun, watching everyone having a laugh (the normies).
Remember if you start drinking you probably wont stop after today, like most of them will, we arent normal drinkers so there isnt much point participating with stuff like that.
Its hard though, I feel for you, at least youre posting on here, its good to talk
Boredom is a problem for me also, Im just watching my favourite dvds and trying to read and potter about. If youre in the middle of a city I cant imagine St pats day being much fun, watching everyone having a laugh (the normies).
Remember if you start drinking you probably wont stop after today, like most of them will, we arent normal drinkers so there isnt much point participating with stuff like that.
Its hard though, I feel for you, at least youre posting on here, its good to talk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Minneapolis, Mn.
Posts: 54
Yeah I am still in this building. I exaggerated it isn't a hotel but is a slum. The repairs in my unit were just completed as I had to repair nine separate holes in the drywall. All but one done in a black out drunk. So embarrassing!!
Can understand about the normal drinkers. My friend mike sent me a facebook pic of a green beer and green sequined top hat. What is the point with the green beer. It would take at least thirty of those carcinogenic pints to get me buzzed. Not fun.
My neighborhood is not a problem as it is so multiethnic that in the last two years I have heard no holiday greeting I can relate to . No Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Columbus day, etc....Only gun shots.. Positive note will be leaving in July for sure.
Feeling better after a hour. I guess it does pass.
Can understand about the normal drinkers. My friend mike sent me a facebook pic of a green beer and green sequined top hat. What is the point with the green beer. It would take at least thirty of those carcinogenic pints to get me buzzed. Not fun.
My neighborhood is not a problem as it is so multiethnic that in the last two years I have heard no holiday greeting I can relate to . No Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Columbus day, etc....Only gun shots.. Positive note will be leaving in July for sure.
Feeling better after a hour. I guess it does pass.
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