Tetra

As I left the house this morning my dad asked me where I was going and I told him I was on my way to a meeting. He said "that's good...if this does not work out we will have to put you in to residential care".

I am a bit stressed out today. I am over 4 months sober but it just feels like people are waiting for me to fall off the wagon. I know that I am a lying alcoholic, but I am so much more than that. I posted once here about the books on addiction that I have read, and a poster, I think it was bigsombreo said that it is important to relax and not think about it all the time. Well the truth is that I do. I think about my alcoholism all the time and so does everyone else. I would just like a break. Like sometimes my mum is screaming at me and I lock myself in the toilet for a few minutes of "time out".

I'm stressed today and tired of the constant lectures. I really am trying my best and trying to get my life back on track. I am just taking things one day at a time. It's all I can do.

Sudz No More

Hang in there, four months is huge. Get past six months and you'll really be getting somewhere. Don't give in, you're too close. Prove to all the naysayers around you wrong, you can do it.

seahorse661

Tetra, I've said before that you're doing amazingly and I still think so.
We can't control how other poeple deal with our sobriety, I wish that my family occasionally mentioned mine! My mother hasn't said a word about it in 11 months, my dad once said "youre looking well". That's it, no other acknowledgement at all. And they have both been telling me for years how concerned they were about my drinking.

I guess the only advice I'd give is to remember that your dad's words are coming from a very loving place. And yes, try not to let thoughts of alcoholism consume you. I hope that gets easier for you as time passes.

all the best

Raider

WhooooooooooHoooooooooo! Four months!!!! Great work, you're rockin' it!!!!

Olive1

Hi Tetra,
I think you are doing amazingly well with your recovery.
The only advice I can offer is to thine own self be true. As long as you know you are honest with yourself about your recovery, then you should feel good about yourself. The rest will follow in time. My family took a long, long time to finally believe that I was serious about this.
It is hard when those closest to you keep distrusting you, but your progress will become evident in the long run.
You are doing this for you.

matrac

You're doing great....stay on that path.

I bet your parents are saying things like that not because they expect you to fall off the wagon, rather because they are afraid and somehow think that threats will keep you sober. They don't realize that saying that isn't helping. I don't know if you can persuade them to stop, but perhaps knowing why they say it will help you keep perspective? I would imagine they want nothing more than your success????

Anyway, glad you're here...proud of you!

Aarryckha

You're doing great! Keep it up!

Do you think you can sit your folks down and talk with them and tell them how you feel about their comments?

SoberLeigh

Prove your naysayers wrong, Tetra, by the way you live your life. They will come around; it takes time to re-build trust. Congrats on 4 sober months; great job.

sugarbear1

Congratulations on 4 months!!!!

Keep moving forward!!

Hugs and love to you!

Hevyn

Four months is wonderful Tetra. I wish people didn't say such negative & hurtful things. I went through that too. Finally it all died down. You are doing great - your SR family is proud of you.

Hawkeye13

Hi Tetra;
I think you are doing a fantastic job. We all do
and we know how hard what you are doing actually is.
Family members without the problem just don't get it I think sometimes.

You will show them all--this will be a great year for you.

Have faith and keep going one step at a time

Flawed

Tetra, I do not post often, but I have seen your posts...you are doing FABULOUS! I understand they have doubts, but you have been proving yourself, and I think you are doing a wonderful job. Every time someone shows you doubt, know that you show us who are "newly sober" hope.

EndGameNYC

It's been said that trust is the first thing we lose and the last thing we get back. If ever.

I tended to underestimate the pain, suffering and damage I brought into other people's lives, and I've heard from many others who were similarly deluded.

The whole world has "trust issues." We just don't notice it until we've trampled all over someone else's good will.

KateL

Many congrats on 4 months xxx

GracieLou

What other people think about me is none of my business.

This is important to remember, this includes parents! Worry about you, your recovery and your actions and reactions.

I have to tell myself all the time "I am powerless over the thoughts of another". I say it over and over and over if I have to.

4 months is fantastic!

toddle118

This is so true, everyone will see me as an alcoholic I think, whether Im 5 years sober or not, because I did ruin the trust of many people. My bf will never forgive me, even now Im not drinking. All you can do is as end game says, recognise how we may have effected those people and perhaps just accept this is how they will react, in the first few months anyway. Hang in there, youre doing brilliantly, Im only 6 days sober, cant imagine what 4 months feels like!