EndGameNYC

Because it's familiar to you. Because it's what you know best.

It isn't who or what is in your life that scares you; it's what's not there that's so frightening.

As is true of most kinds of anxiety, panic attacks are signals that something bad is about to happen. This includes worrying over having another attack. When we go about removing the malignant props in our lives -- the people, places and things that are unsupportive, uncaring and abusive -- we simultaneously remove things that make us anxious. But the anxiety rarely just melts away. Not completely. It often becomes worse after placing ourselves in emotionally novel situations, situations that we are not at all certain we can control. It finds new "objects" (meaning people, places and things) to become anxious about.

The short version is that those people and things that stimulate our anxiety are familiar to us and therefore give us a false sense of control over them, paradoxically, by our becoming overly anxious in their presence...having a panic attack. Since we have panic attacks in certain situations, at certain times of day or night, in the presence of well known anxiety-producing objects, and often out-of-the-blue, we already know what the-worst-thing-that-can-happen is: The very panic attacks that signal that something bad is about to happen. So the attack itself temporarily relieves the tension around having another attack, albeit in a dysfunctional way.

Panic attacks are often described as a maladaptive strategy for dealing with anticipated harm. In my experience, panic disorder typically carries both genetic and environmental components.

There's much more to it than that (not that this ever stopped me before...and I'm not sure I'm explaining this well). There are also competing theories. If I'm trying to convey anything at all, it's that you don't need to be stuck in the infinite loop of terrifying panic attacks and/or relying on people whose only virtue is that they're a good fit for what your anxiety craves.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. At the very least, postponing your wedding seems like a good idea.

newhope01

I'm actually not sure what caused this anxiety attack this time.. I just couldn't drive. I find that it typically happens on Thursdays before work and that I am usually feeling guilty about something. But honestly, this time I have no idea what happened.

Also, there is a huge genetic component for me as well as a lot of my extended and immediate family members suffer from anxiety. It just hasn't been this bad in awhile.

newhope01

Just a little update about how things are going:

I decided to just take one class and drop the other two classes while continuing to work full time. I am really satisfied with my decision as I find the class interesting and I really enjoy being a student.

Had a long conversation with the fiance about his actions and how his behavior needs to change. Apparently, his mother had advised him as well to allow me to take my classes at my own pace and that conversation seemed to resonate with him.

Everything seems to be calming down and have been able to go to work without any attacks. Still waiting to see the doctor to discuss some treatment options but I think I am done taking any medications.