Back to SR after another year of drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 242
Back to SR after another year of drinking
Hello everyone,
I have been a member of SR since 2010, have made some short lived well intentioned attempts to quit drinking and am now back because my life is becoming unmanageable.
I’ve been a problem drinker since I was a teenager, became a moderate social drinker when my daughter was young but have slowly ramped it up throughout the years. I am 39 now.
I got divorced last April and my daughter graduated High School and moved out in June. With no one around to hide my drinking from it has gone from bad to REALLY bad.
For the past 6 months I would go back and forth nearly every day of the week from drinking ¾ a bottle of vodka the first night to ¼ the second night. That formula would go out the window for special occasions, of course. I was off of work between December 22 and January 2, I couldn’t even tell you the amount of liquor I consumed during that time.
About a week and a half ago I finally faced the fact that something had to give. I never drank during the day when I was working, but I’m pretty sure people were starting to notice my constant shaking from daily withdraws. My bowels were a mess. I was spending my weekends either drunk or sleeping off a drunk. I have recently taken risks drinking and driving, which I swore I would never do. I always try to hide my drinking unless I am at a social gathering that it is acceptable to be drunk. That would mean many conversations with friends, family, and my new boyfriend on the phone where I was trying to pretend I hadn’t already downed a half a bottle of vodka that night.
I really started to get scared when drinking at 10:00a.m. on a weekend seemed like a good idea to help me recover from the night before, and I was giving into that urge. ****** drunk by midnight on Friday, wake up around 9:00a.m. on Saturday and stumble out to the living room couch. Start drinking again between 10-11a.m. Passed out drunk and hungover by 4:00p.m. wake up around 8:00p.m. and start all over. In recent months I have spent entire weekends never leaving the house or doing a single productive thing.
So… for the past week and a half I have been trying to self-medicate to help me cut back and eventually stop without having a seizure, which terrifies me. I have been having a terrible time sleeping, so I am taking over the counter sleeping pills, up to 75mg a night. I don’t like drinking beer at all, but I have been drinking up to two beers a night if I get too jittery.
I want to stop completely but I am scared for my health, and I think I might need something to help with the anxiety in the beginning. Today I just took a HUGE step. I just called my Drs. Office and made an appointment for tomorrow. When the receptionist asked me what the appointment was for I told her I needed a wellness check-up. When she asked me to be more specific I told her I was trying to quit drinking and I was worried about my health. WOW. I can’t believe I actually going to admit to someone in my real life what I have been trying to hide all these years.
Thank you if you got this far, I know what a tremendous help SR can be if I continue to come here. I am looking forward to joining the February Class and continuing to gain knowledge and wisdom from all of you.
I have been a member of SR since 2010, have made some short lived well intentioned attempts to quit drinking and am now back because my life is becoming unmanageable.
I’ve been a problem drinker since I was a teenager, became a moderate social drinker when my daughter was young but have slowly ramped it up throughout the years. I am 39 now.
I got divorced last April and my daughter graduated High School and moved out in June. With no one around to hide my drinking from it has gone from bad to REALLY bad.
For the past 6 months I would go back and forth nearly every day of the week from drinking ¾ a bottle of vodka the first night to ¼ the second night. That formula would go out the window for special occasions, of course. I was off of work between December 22 and January 2, I couldn’t even tell you the amount of liquor I consumed during that time.
About a week and a half ago I finally faced the fact that something had to give. I never drank during the day when I was working, but I’m pretty sure people were starting to notice my constant shaking from daily withdraws. My bowels were a mess. I was spending my weekends either drunk or sleeping off a drunk. I have recently taken risks drinking and driving, which I swore I would never do. I always try to hide my drinking unless I am at a social gathering that it is acceptable to be drunk. That would mean many conversations with friends, family, and my new boyfriend on the phone where I was trying to pretend I hadn’t already downed a half a bottle of vodka that night.
I really started to get scared when drinking at 10:00a.m. on a weekend seemed like a good idea to help me recover from the night before, and I was giving into that urge. ****** drunk by midnight on Friday, wake up around 9:00a.m. on Saturday and stumble out to the living room couch. Start drinking again between 10-11a.m. Passed out drunk and hungover by 4:00p.m. wake up around 8:00p.m. and start all over. In recent months I have spent entire weekends never leaving the house or doing a single productive thing.
So… for the past week and a half I have been trying to self-medicate to help me cut back and eventually stop without having a seizure, which terrifies me. I have been having a terrible time sleeping, so I am taking over the counter sleeping pills, up to 75mg a night. I don’t like drinking beer at all, but I have been drinking up to two beers a night if I get too jittery.
I want to stop completely but I am scared for my health, and I think I might need something to help with the anxiety in the beginning. Today I just took a HUGE step. I just called my Drs. Office and made an appointment for tomorrow. When the receptionist asked me what the appointment was for I told her I needed a wellness check-up. When she asked me to be more specific I told her I was trying to quit drinking and I was worried about my health. WOW. I can’t believe I actually going to admit to someone in my real life what I have been trying to hide all these years.
Thank you if you got this far, I know what a tremendous help SR can be if I continue to come here. I am looking forward to joining the February Class and continuing to gain knowledge and wisdom from all of you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by AlaskaGirl 
I just called my Drs. Office and made an appointment for tomorrow. When the receptionist asked me what the appointment was for I told her I needed a wellness check-up. When she asked me to be more specific I told her I was trying to quit drinking and I was worried about my health. WOW. I can’t believe I actually going to admit to someone in my real life what I have been trying to hide all these years.
best wishes
from
M-Bob
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Hi AlaskaGirl, I'm glad you are going to give sobriety another shot. I had success detoxing on my own in the past, but this last time it had gotten pretty bad (drinking all day, every day) and I did what you are planning on doing. I went to my general doctor first and he helped me medically detox. From there I went to outpatient treatment which included seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. I also went back to AA, found a sponsor and worked the steps (didn't do that in my past experiences in AA). This combination is working well for me and life is good again.
Hopefully you will be sober before the end of the month and you can join the January class! 
I am looking forward to joining the February Class and continuing to gain knowledge and wisdom from all of you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
It's good to see you back AlaskaGirl. We have to be ready, and it sounds like you are.
My drinking was similar to yours - but in the end I never drew a sober breath. That's when I reached out to SR. It was change or die - I was miserable and terrified. I made it out of hell, and you will too. I'm glad you posted and told your story.
My drinking was similar to yours - but in the end I never drew a sober breath. That's when I reached out to SR. It was change or die - I was miserable and terrified. I made it out of hell, and you will too. I'm glad you posted and told your story.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlantic City New Jersey
Posts: 63
My drinking and my life was exactly like that in the end just 3 weeks ago...drinking and driving again after 2 d.u.is...it was very ugly.I reached out to someone in A.A. (who is now my sponsor)...I just do what she suggests and go to meetings daily..Detox was brutal...being honest with your Dr. is vital.Your making the right choice.Welcome ..keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
Alaska Girl, I have done the same thing except the weekends you described became weeks for me. I self detoxed a couple times but the last time needed medical detox the good news is if you stop you never have to go back.
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